Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's what congregations like the Unitarians are like. I go once a month to the local one, and I've been an atheist my entire life. I'd guess about half the people that there are, too, but no one really seems to mind one way or the other, as long as you're friendly and civil to everyone else. Mostly it's a discussion group, and I quite enjoy it.
The hard thing about (some) interest groups is that sometimes they have people "way out there" in political opinions, "different" view of the world (think the views that include the usage of aluminium headwear) or just maladjusted to normal living.
An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
81–90 of 124 posts
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#82Earlier quoted context omitted.
I make new friends of all ages all the time. At church. It does provide "proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other". And not by coincidence. One of the major goals of church is to help people form healthy and significant relationships (that is, friendships).
Yeah, as an atheist, the weekly unforced meetup you guys have is the one thing I do envy. I wonder how many of the churchgoers secretly have no real faith and are only there for the company...
Humans need chill hangs.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#83Earlier quoted context omitted.
The hard thing about (some) interest groups is that sometimes they have people "way out there" in political opinions, "different" view of the world (think the views that include the usage of aluminium headwear) or just maladjusted to normal living.
Why is this so hard, though? It might be a little tedious to sit through their ramblings, but it seems to me a sign of the times that this would be considered hard to do.
I mean I can take your average left/right winger rambling on, but depending on how far and away it goes it's really a no for me.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#84Earlier quoted context omitted.
That’s precisely my experience. To be honest, after college I’ve found that hobbies are not that great for finding very close friends. Shared interests are certainly great for meeting people, but just because you occasionally make pottery or hike with someone doesn’t mean you’ll connect on a deep level.
This is an insightful observation that I feel is worth unpacking further. I've had similar experience when attending interest-based meetups, which I thought would be an ideal place to make friends (which I've never been any good at), but I found that was not the case at all. Thinking back, I recall feeling uncomfortable commenting on or diverting the conversation towards anything that was unrelated to the prescribed…
It probably doesn’t help that a lot of my hiking and camping trips are a few hours’ drive away from home and thus tend to draw people who live fairly far away from me.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#85I have a hard time finding people who like to work on old cars. I joined a mopar club for a while, but all they did is talk about meeting minutes and the budget. Never going over to Bob's house and getting his wreck back on the road. I run into people now and then who have a classic in their garage, but they never seem interested in having a group of people helping out. None of my friends in the tech business have th…
For reference: https://instagram.com/lakewashingtoncarsandcoffee
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#86Earlier quoted context omitted.
You can have comfort, safety and fullfilling life. There is absolutely no contradition between the three - unless your value system defines fullfiling as lack of safety. Comfortable does not imply depressing. Pointless and empty and without something to do implies depressing. Maybe one reason for problems with loneliness and what not are these dichotomies - people believe they have to choose between two extremes and…
In the context of this forum, comfort and safety means a cushy tech job. I don't know how many people feel fulfilled in those, but my guess is that the majority isn't (esp. among people with more than a couple years of experience). The dichotomy seems very real to me. Regarding your example of a father that needs to pretend he's laser-focused on the job - this is what I was talking about. There are people for whose c…
See, that is false dichotomy I see. You can have technically interesting job that is quite safe and with good management. You can have boring tasks with high subjective stress and disorganized management leading to late nights full of boring tasks and later burn out and leave the industry (looking at you, game industry).
> Regarding your example of a father that needs to pretend he's laser-focused on the job - this is what I was talking about.
I meant parent poster, not father. I have no idea whether he has children and the issue did not seemed to be family oriented one.
> There are people for whose career is a #1 priority, and these people naturally get the prized positions (managerial, or work on interesting projects etc.) in work environments, at the cost of everything else in their lives.
You later again do dichotomy between "career number one" and "does not give a shit". That is not how real world people act or feel. Moreover, real world people often move between the two.
Many many people in tech don't see middle management as desirable position. I know people who work on interesting projects and it did not costed them everything else in their lives. They focused on the kind of tech and positions important to them, but not to exclusion of everything and it worked out great for them. I know people who sacrificed everything and were not rewarded at all - sometimes unfairly and sometimes fairly. Their ego and identity being depended on job ended up hurting that job. People who sacrificed everything and ended up resentfulness and burned out by their own fault.
> Of course, the flip side is that there's plenty of other frauds who also misrepresent themselves, to the point of anyone who's open about his real priorities sticks out like a sore thumb - at which point you need to pretend just to maintain a mediocre job, and not to get the prized one.
Interestingly, there are two kind of jobs for you - mediocre and prized. You don't see different positions suitable for different people nor people possibly unhappy in those prized jobs nor people possibly happy in "mediocre jobs". These is no concept of personality type or aptitudes affecting what kind of job you are effective and happy at. There are loosers at mediocre jobs and those who sacrificed everything for prized jobs, regardless of whether they are actually really effective at that position.
Is it about work itself and meaning of work or rather about what jobs are seen as prized by others?
> The reason for that is, in the grand scheme of things, even those "mediocre" tech jobs still pay six figures for working on a computer in a climate -controlled office. These are dream jobs for 90% of the population, so the competition for them is intense, hence all the theatrics.
Is it that companies have hard time to find people or that competition for mediocre job is intense? Because really, many many low paid jobs are working on a computer in a climate controlled office.
> I imagine there's much more honesty amongst brick layers or truck drivers, as they don't have people coming for their jobs from all angles.
Truck drivers struggle. The competition for jobs and pressures and debts are very real, harder then any position in tech.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#87> Loneliness, however, is a symptom of large changes in society, many caused by policies that Republicans have pursued over decades. What neurosis is one suffering that loneliness has to be pinned on the political party one dislikes? I don't understand how Americans can wade through media so thick with political bias. It's exhausting and increasingly permeates everything. And if Republicans are to blame, as the autho…
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#88Sorry, a potential security risk was detected in your submitted request. The Webmaster has been alerted.
Then I tried https://www.senate.gov/ and got the same thing. Is there a reason for this? I'm in the UK browsing on Firefox.
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#89Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah, as an atheist, the weekly unforced meetup you guys have is the one thing I do envy. I wonder how many of the churchgoers secretly have no real faith and are only there for the company...
As an atheist, I've been on two Catholic pilgrimages and countless church services. My first pilgrimage was to Lourdes in the South of France - as a member of the German army. During an introduction course in the first weeks after joining the army we were told we were entitled to certain programs, and getting time off from the army. After basic training and entering regular service I went to the base's priest, told I…
Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?
#90Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's what congregations like the Unitarians are like. I go once a month to the local one, and I've been an atheist my entire life. I'd guess about half the people that there are, too, but no one really seems to mind one way or the other, as long as you're friendly and civil to everyone else. Mostly it's a discussion group, and I quite enjoy it.
The hard thing about (some) interest groups is that sometimes they have people "way out there" in political opinions, "different" view of the world (think the views that include the usage of aluminium headwear) or just maladjusted to normal living.
It seems to me like everyone is opting out of talking to people across the political aisle. It's become so dire that we see articles teaching people how to deal with "that one uncle" at family gatherings [1].
[1] https://duckduckgo.com/?q=how+to+talk+to+that+uncle+at+Chris...