171–180 of 336 posts
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There's other ways to challenge oneself that doesn't involve the workplace or their day job.
You know what's funny, I don't think hobbies are an acceptable thing anymore. Seems like "hobbies" are demonized if they're not "productive". I even have to combat the random feelings that "I should be working" instead of just taking time off for me.
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12 people! What were they interviewing you for, a role as the code messiah?
This was spread out over three days: one phone screen and two separate days of in-person interviews. It wasn't even for a really amazing job (we're not talking FAANG here). You know - because we're in such high demand?
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One day recently, my oldest commented on his observations that when he picks up food at the deli for us, he and other men say things like "Give me half a pound of potatoes." Women typically say things like "Can I have..." They sound like they are asking permission to eat even though they are a paying customer. My experience is that other people are weirded out when I talk in an empowered fashion like a man. Some peop…
My experience has been that people are weirded when someone talks from a non-natural perspective. I've met many women who talk naturally in a confident and assertive way, and it doesn't feel like they're forcing it, or telling themselves "I'm going to try to sound like an empowered man when I say this." It just seems to fit holistically in the situation. I personally get push back when I try to sound more confident t…
I had a corporate job for 5.25 years. My department had around 500 people in it. I routinely sat up front in large meetings, in part because I have terrible eyesight. One day, the highest ranked woman in my department said to the guy who was her only equal in rank "Look at Doreen, sitting up front."
I don't sit up front to signal aggressive type A personality stuff or ambition or whatever, but other people interpret it that way.
I went to GIS Summer School, an 8 week program that covered a normally year long certificate. It's a two thirds male field and most classes were two thirds male. The last week of this program, I realized that I was the only woman who routinely sat up front. Most women sat in the last two rows of class.
I'm routinely interpreted as highly aggressive and pushy for doing things that are totally normal and completely unremarkable when men do them. It's fine if a guy does it. It's normal for men to sit up front. No one accuses them of anything for not hiding themselves away in the back row seats. But it gets a fair amount of attention for me to sit up front, and not in a good way.
This was viewed by the highest ranked woman in my department as noteworthy and she said it in front of a bunch of people loud enough for me and everyone else there to hear. She didn't discuss it with her equal privately nor comment on it to me privately. You could interpret that as a rebuke, like "how dare she do that!"
You could also interpret it as a shocked reaction by a woman who is presumably a great deal more empowered than most people regardless of gender, yet could not imagine doing anything as daring as sitting up front, apparently. She also got very defensive when I said my sons had taken over the housework and cooking. Her husband followed her from another state so she could take the job, but she still did most of the women's work at home. Most of my female colleagues were shocked that my sons took over the housework and cooking at home after I went from homemaker to primary breadwinner.
Of course it does, it's not a gender problem, who said it was? How many of you have heard your friends and colleagues tell you, "wow I'm so lucky I got through that interview, there's no way I would pass it if I did it again today." You shouldn't walk away from a good interview feeling like you nailed it. An interviewer should push you to your limits and the more you know, the more they should push. It doesn't mean y…
Many people have said this.
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I have done dozens of interviews in my career and have yet to meet anyone who was this bad. What am I doing wrong?
Probably working for a company with sane resume filtering. We outsourced that.
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I'm a dude and usually say "Can I please have..." but I'm from a Commonwealth country and I think there's a tendency for British/Commonwealth people to be less brash than Americans.
Yeah. "Give me ..." without even "please" just sounds rude.
"What will ya have?" "Yeah give me a half pound of the turkey that's on special."
Perfectly appropriate conversation. It's a transactional conversation. Pleasantry are nice but the absence of them doesn't mean one is being rude.
It makes me thrilled to see that we're finally talking about data around gender issues, regardless of what that data actually says. It seems like we're finally getting over the taboo and we're mature enough to look at facts.
Maybe in a couple years we can talk about statistics suggesting inherent gender differences in academic interest without getting screamed at.
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One day recently, my oldest commented on his observations that when he picks up food at the deli for us, he and other men say things like "Give me half a pound of potatoes." Women typically say things like "Can I have..." They sound like they are asking permission to eat even though they are a paying customer. My experience is that other people are weirded out when I talk in an empowered fashion like a man. Some peop…
I'm a dude and usually say "Can I please have..." but I'm from a Commonwealth country and I think there's a tendency for British/Commonwealth people to be less brash than Americans.
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I often ask interviewees about a project they worked on that was very successful, and why it was successful - what did they like about it? That's a good way to find those passion points. It's also a good way to find weak candidates without independence or leadership skills, because they can't really talk about their role in a big success - they didn't have much of a role, usually. A flip-side question is to ask about…
projects they worked on that failed That's a bad one, considering that everyone is supposed to be upbeat and positive in the face of adversity. You can't place blame on management and the environment that was in no way conducive to success because that's not culturally acceptable. Are we supposed to prepare an answer for that question now as well because the true answer (unrealistic expectations from upper management…
Nope. I don't want a prepared answer. I want an honest answer. Hence throwing them a rough, non-technical question that absolutely will not be on the resume, but has been part of the career of any experienced candidate.
"Autocratic management" isn't a good answer, because it's too general. What did autocratic management do? Were the requirements incomplete? The schedule unrealistic? Beaten by the competition? Depended on unproven technology? Sometimes, everyone does everything right, and a project fails anyway. There's still a reason it failed.
But when I hear a candidate talk about failure in the form of "I was a hero, but my idiot co-workers and malicious bosses ruined everything", I hear them finding someone to blame, rather than a problem that didn't get solved correctly. And that tells me a lot about what working with them will be like, when we have our inevitable failures.
When I was younger I was able to go into interviews with the mindset of, "it's their decision and it's okay if they don't think I'm a good fit." It made interviewing easy, and in a lot of cases even enjoyable. Unfortunately for reasons still unknown to me, I'm not able to get into that mindset anymore. Interviews are extremely stressful now. No amount of rationalizing will help.
probably because you have bills, expectations, and reality hits hard when it wants to take a punch at you