Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

blog.interviewing.io

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

151–160 of 336 posts

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#151

Post by daenz »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #145
anon84598 wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is interesting, but I feel like it isn't as thorough as I would like. Men and women speak differently in ways that can't be masked by voice modulation and I suspect that phrasing, choice of vocabulary, intonation etc. also play a role in how people are perceived. My hypothesis would be that men are more familiar with how men speak, so if a woman also spoke like that, they would see an improvement. I'm not saying…

One day recently, my oldest commented on his observations that when he picks up food at the deli for us, he and other men say things like "Give me half a pound of potatoes." Women typically say things like "Can I have..." They sound like they are asking permission to eat even though they are a paying customer. My experience is that other people are weirded out when I talk in an empowered fashion like a man. Some peop…

My experience has been that people are weirded when someone talks from a non-natural perspective. I've met many women who talk naturally in a confident and assertive way, and it doesn't feel like they're forcing it, or telling themselves "I'm going to try to sound like an empowered man when I say this." It just seems to fit holistically in the situation. I personally get push back when I try to sound more confident than I actually am on an issue, vs when I actually am very confident on an issue. People seem to be good detectors of subtle cues.

So I guess my point is, are you only noticing it when you are testing for it?

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#152

Post by klipt »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #145
anon84598 wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is interesting, but I feel like it isn't as thorough as I would like. Men and women speak differently in ways that can't be masked by voice modulation and I suspect that phrasing, choice of vocabulary, intonation etc. also play a role in how people are perceived. My hypothesis would be that men are more familiar with how men speak, so if a woman also spoke like that, they would see an improvement. I'm not saying…

One day recently, my oldest commented on his observations that when he picks up food at the deli for us, he and other men say things like "Give me half a pound of potatoes." Women typically say things like "Can I have..." They sound like they are asking permission to eat even though they are a paying customer. My experience is that other people are weirded out when I talk in an empowered fashion like a man. Some peop…

I'm a dude and usually say "Can I please have..." but I'm from a Commonwealth country and I think there's a tendency for British/Commonwealth people to be less brash than Americans.

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#153

Post by pmiller2 »

michaelt wrote: post #37
taeric wrote: post #12

The practice interview point strikes me as odd. In large, because I have never done one. Do folks really typically do that many practice interviews? I don't even know how to study. I sometimes consider it, but have never spent more than an hour prepping for an interview. :( It worries me, because I know that interviewing is a skill. But are we not setting folks up to over index on that skill such that they have diffi…

Do folks really typically do that many practice interviews? I didn't do any practice interviews intentionally but I did get rejected from the first two places I interviewed out of college, so the effect was the same. If for some reason a person absolutely couldn't risk being rejected by a few places, practising some other way might be a sensible move :)

The point of a "practice interview" is that you can actually get feedback, as opposed to going and doing a "real" interview for practice.

As for not being able to risk rejection, what is there to risk besides time? I've heard of people practicing for 3+ months. In that same time period, one could probably get 10 onsite interviews and a lot more phone screens in. The fundamental problem is the lack of feedback on rejection (although it's possible to get randomly hired while doing this type of "practice").

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#154

Post by pmiller2 »

qubax wrote: post #22
taeric wrote: post #12

The practice interview point strikes me as odd. In large, because I have never done one. Do folks really typically do that many practice interviews? I don't even know how to study. I sometimes consider it, but have never spent more than an hour prepping for an interview. :( It worries me, because I know that interviewing is a skill. But are we not setting folks up to over index on that skill such that they have diffi…

> The practice interview point strikes me as odd. In large, because I have never done one. Do folks really typically do that many practice interviews? I only did practice interviews for my college internships and my first job because my resume was so light and my experience in the industry was nonexistent. When you have so little to talk about, it's smart to come prepared with a handful of questions. Once you have 5…

Just out of curiosity, what kind of places have you been interviewing? I'm at about 5 years, and I'm still getting mostly the same old "write down the solution to these leetcode problems" type interviews. I would say 75% is leetcode bullshit, maybe 25% more applied type interviews.

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#155

Post by ethagnawl »

kradroy wrote: post #127
twoquestions wrote: post #11

It doesn't help that job ads are wanting "Top 3% only!" or "Only top 1% Ninja Rockstars need apply!". Kind of reminds me of the market for singers or concert pianists, you absolutely need to be the best, even imperceptibly worse makes you unemployable. Should those of us who aren't top 5%/didn't go to a top school just find another industry, one where sub-perfect work doesn't actively make other people's jobs harder?

It's less of a thing to put that childish language in a job posting these days. It'll come around again though. The more insidious thing is the requirements themselves. They're usually broad and often don't fit the role well, especially for roles above entry level. And sometimes I even come across entry level postings that seem too demanding. I recently had to proof-read a job req for a lead dev role on our team. It…

This is insightful and reassuring. Thanks for sharing.

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#156

Post by HarryHirsch »

beat wrote: post #74
aplummer wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What's the coolest thing you've done both in life and at work? - What are your dreams? - Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Hey, I ask a lot of these questions in consulting. What I’m looking for is to tell if a) you can communicate a point clearly b) if you can talk generally about your career and are growth oriented. If you said that field evolves rapidly bit above that would be a good answer. If you span it…

I often ask interviewees about a project they worked on that was very successful, and why it was successful - what did they like about it? That's a good way to find those passion points. It's also a good way to find weak candidates without independence or leadership skills, because they can't really talk about their role in a big success - they didn't have much of a role, usually. A flip-side question is to ask about…

projects they worked on that failed

That's a bad one, considering that everyone is supposed to be upbeat and positive in the face of adversity. You can't place blame on management and the environment that was in no way conducive to success because that's not culturally acceptable.

Are we supposed to prepare an answer for that question now as well because the true answer (unrealistic expectations from upper management and insufficient infrastructure) will make you fail the interview? What you could ask is what will make a team fail, and my answer would be autocratic management.

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#157

Post by jboles »

klipt wrote: post #152
DoreenMichele wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One day recently, my oldest commented on his observations that when he picks up food at the deli for us, he and other men say things like "Give me half a pound of potatoes." Women typically say things like "Can I have..." They sound like they are asking permission to eat even though they are a paying customer. My experience is that other people are weirded out when I talk in an empowered fashion like a man. Some peop…

I'm a dude and usually say "Can I please have..." but I'm from a Commonwealth country and I think there's a tendency for British/Commonwealth people to be less brash than Americans.

Yeah. "Give me ..." without even "please" just sounds rude.

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#158

Post by dabockster »

geggam wrote: post #144
corodra wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not sure if I understand your question. Do you mean the mental issues part? If so, back then we all just thought the HR posting the job was retarded. If I saw something stupid, the person was stupid. It never hurt me. Nowadays the whole imposter syndrome is becoming a bigger issue. People are becoming more and more inadequate in their own skin. It’s all just getting offended by stuff seen, no matter how small. I grew…

Just wondering why people think that being challenged is a terrible thing. Its almost like being mediocre is good and having some mental problem is better than good performance. Begs the question.. "What is society rewarding ? "

There's other ways to challenge oneself that doesn't involve the workplace or their day job.

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#159

Post by dabockster »

commandlinefan wrote: post #77
JustSomeNobody wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> "Top 3% only!" or "Only top 1% Ninja Rockstars need apply!" Do people apply to these places? I don't. Ever. Not that I feel bad about myself, but I don't ever ever want to work for a manager who approves this type of job ad.

I worked at one. I didn't apply - I was recruited by the owner (he knew me from a past job), so I didn't go through the interview process, he just asked me if I'd come work for him, quoted a number, and I said, "yeah, sure". It was a struggling startup, but it was making (some) money, and had (some) potential. But man, when I started interviewing people - he'd tell me, "we only take the best of the best", it was a st…

> office hotel

Is that what we're calling co-working spaces these days? I can get on board with that.

Re: Impostor syndrome strikes men just as hard as women in technical interviews

#160

Post by geggam »

dabockster wrote: post #158
geggam wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just wondering why people think that being challenged is a terrible thing. Its almost like being mediocre is good and having some mental problem is better than good performance. Begs the question.. "What is society rewarding ? "

There's other ways to challenge oneself that doesn't involve the workplace or their day job.

Fair point. Will be interesting to watch the next couple generations.
Post reply on HN