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Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

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Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#151

Post by dasil003 »

lazyant wrote: post #129
RyanMcGreal wrote: post #28

There's a two- or three-week period, usually around the six month mark, when your baby can sit up unaided but can't yet crawl. During this time, you can put the baby down on an activity blanket (supervised, obviously) and enjoy maybe five or ten minute contiguous stretches of uninterrupted time to do stuff. Note: activities like preparing a meal and straightening up the place tend to take priority over developing a s…

> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death.

> No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death.

I've heard this but I don't buy it. People have been sleeping this way for millions of years. Normally I believe parents are plenty in tune with their baby's presence not to roll over on them. If you're a heavy drinker then yeah you should probably go sleep on the couch. But as a parent you often have to make choices with conflicting information. If you want the best of both worlds get a co-sleeper.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#152

Post by lazyant »

pyre wrote: post #143
lazyant wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not saying it's a huge problem (I don't know) but it doesn't seem a good idea to risk it: "There has been a fourfold increase in the rate of infant strangulation and suffocation in the U.S. in the past 20 years, according to a report released today, and the apparent cause (though hardly the definitive one) is the rise in numbers of babies who share beds with their parents." source: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.…

It's also true that babies that sleep with their parents hasn't been a cultural thing in the US. I'd say that in the last 20 years, the number of people doing it has increased, which likely accounts for the increase in the numbers of deaths due to it. Using this same logic, we should have abandoned the adoption of the automobile because as it became more and more commonplace, automobile-related deaths rose as well.

It's a simple trade-off or risk management. In the case of cars we accept the risk in exchange for our lifestyle (going to work, go to buy food etc) so this is an acceptable trade-off for most people (I like to reduce the driving risk by grouping errands, walking when I can etc).

In the case of sleeping with a baby you are taking a risk but for what reward? "cultural thing"? not having to sit up in bed and reach to the crib? this risk/reward ratio is horrible and cannot be compared with the one for cars.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#153

Post by Splines »

lazyant wrote: post #129
RyanMcGreal wrote: post #28

There's a two- or three-week period, usually around the six month mark, when your baby can sit up unaided but can't yet crawl. During this time, you can put the baby down on an activity blanket (supervised, obviously) and enjoy maybe five or ten minute contiguous stretches of uninterrupted time to do stuff. Note: activities like preparing a meal and straightening up the place tend to take priority over developing a s…

> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death.

We put our daughter's crib in our room, which I think helped tremendously in getting her to sleep through the night.

When she started climbing out of her crib we put a foam mattress on the floor and let her sleep on that (which we moved to her bedroom). This also helped with comforting her at night when she woke up, as we would lie down next to her. Gradually she stopped waking up at night, and if she did, she would go back to sleep by herself.

IMO, getting your baby to sleep through the night and going to bed without too much fuss pays off. I'm no child psychologist, but I think by assuring them that you're there whenever they need you, they become more secure when you're not around. Being able to have a full night's rest is imperative to functioning well the next day.

Once you have children, you tend to start strategizing your sleep schedule.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#154

Post by T_S_ »

Some things I never expected:

No matter how bad my day is going, I smile when my daughter walks in the room.

7th grade homework can be challenging at any time of life. I can't wait to find out how what grade I get on my son's science project.

My first-born was the first person I ever met that I would hope outlasts me here on earth. Kind of put life in perspective for me.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#155

Post by trevorhartman »

Having had my first child 6 months ago, this transition is still fresh for me.

Having a baby makes you feel much more a part of the human race. It also makes your house feel more like a home instead of a simple shelter (in the utilitarian sense). There is much joy in raising a child.

Obviously, it takes a lot of time and work, but it's not the end of productivity. I work a fulltime job, home by 5:30, and have to keep myself from working on other projects until about 8pm when the baby goes to bed. That's only 2.5 hours I'm unable to work during week days nights, and I'd normally take at least 1 of those off anyway.

Weekends are a little different. There's much more time available but you have to balance it with spending time with the family, so I usually end up working random hours whenever I can (maybe 2 or 4 or 6) per weekend day.

Hours alone don't build an app. I think the consistency and discipline that my new schedule requires is helpful in itself. The hours I do have available are now more productive and focused.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#156

Post by lazyant »

dasil003 wrote: post #151
lazyant wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death.

> No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death. I've heard this but I don't buy it. People have been sleeping this way for millions of years. Normally I believe parents are plenty in tune with their baby's presence not to roll over on them. If you're a heavy drinker then yeah you should probably go sleep on the couch. But as a parent you often have to make choices with conflictin…

"People have been sleeping this way for millions of years".

First off mattresses and the way we sleep now are only a few hundred years old. Second we don't have detailed statistics for infant deaths until very recently so we don't know how many babies were dying a long time ago and for what causes.

For evidence of the risk please see my reply below http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#157

Post by [deleted] »

Tichy wrote: post #90
qstyk wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Consult your pediatrician before even considering letting your infant sleep with you. There may be additional SIDS concerns.

My son is two weeks old by now, and the nurses at the hospital all said that a mother won't crush her child in bed. Apparently women have some kinds of instincts at work here. Men are a less safe bet, apparently. My sister (a phyisician) said that it can be dangerous if the men are drugged (alcohol, for example). There is also the sudden infant death syndrome. They still don't know what's going on, but statistics see…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#158

Post by wildmXranat »

We are about to bring in a child to this world. Our due date is literally three days away and it has changed the definition of how my free time is structured. It changed what I think about on the drive in to work and what I do with my free time at work.

Take my last week for instance. We had a list of things to get and do before labor and spent about 50% of our free time knocking off items from that list. Time between 6PM and midnight, which would be my personal free time, got re-prioritized. Instead of just sitting at the computer and mindlessly throwing myself at a project, I plan it out and almost rehearse it far in advance. In a sense, it made me more focused and taught me to squeeze productivity in the best way possible.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#159

Post by philwelch »

qstyk wrote: post #66
RyanMcGreal wrote: post #28

There's a two- or three-week period, usually around the six month mark, when your baby can sit up unaided but can't yet crawl. During this time, you can put the baby down on an activity blanket (supervised, obviously) and enjoy maybe five or ten minute contiguous stretches of uninterrupted time to do stuff. Note: activities like preparing a meal and straightening up the place tend to take priority over developing a s…

Consult your pediatrician before even considering letting your infant sleep with you. There may be additional SIDS concerns.

SIDS is less an actual disease, and more a convenient bucket to categorize "babies dying of asphyxiation for reasons we don't understand".

Some of those are becoming better understood (babies can't always tell if they're breathing CO2 rather than oxygen so it turns out they shouldn't sleep on their tummies) but mostly it's a fancy medical term for "we don't know". It's not even a mysterious disease and "no one knows what it's caused by"--we don't even know that a disease exists.

Re: Ask HN: How does having a baby change your life?

#160

Post by lazyant »

kennethlove wrote: post #150
lazyant wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death.

No, you'll sleep fine and there's no more risk of SIDS in co-sleeping babies than those that sleep in cribs and some serious research to suggest that co-sleepers are actually safer.

For evidence of the risk please see my reply below http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044 . I believe SIDS is not yet very well understood, but there's also risk of asphyxiation.

Also if you sleep fine, good for you. I wouldn't and couldn't sleep well knowing there's a risk (although small) of hurting a baby.

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