You a have a huge attitude problem.
> I am trying to get new ideas done. But after one day of programming for my job, I am exhausted and I cannot extract any brain-juice any more. And if I try to work during the week-ends, I can't rewind enough for the next week. And my progress are damn slow. It seems I would need a year to achieve what a good programmer could do in a week.
Do you have professional training? A degree? How long have you been programming? I know the current fad is to brush off the stodgy past and just start hacking, but it's honestly complete horse-shit.
You need some kind of training to be a great engineer, even if it is self training through reading books and documentation. Or do you think you will simply invent or absorb the past 40 years of software development and research through osmosis?
Tooling around and poking at things until they work is a great way to start programming but it eventually becomes exhausting.
Experience is an amazing resource, but in my opinion is over-rated. Directed practice and active learning is what leads to becoming a better programmer. If you are finding you aren't progressing, ask yourself: What are you doing to fix that? https://daedtech.com/how-developers-stop-learning-rise-of-th...
> Let alone be a Mark Zuckerberg
This is such a toxic attitude.
Did you go to an elite private university? Did you go to an elite, extremely expensive boarding high school? Did you have a merlin-style private tutor that taught you computer programming at a young age? How many hundreds of thousands of dollars did your parents invest into your education?
No? Then why are you comparing yourself to Mark Zuckerberg? He comes from a different planet then you.
I know we like to idolize our captains of industry and Zuckerberg is undoubtedly brilliant and driven, but he had everything in the world pulling for him. If he had NOT succeeded in the way he has, it would have been pathetic.
Don't compare yourself to these people. They aren't like you. They have powerful families and friends that get their foot in the door for great connections.
They can take insane risks like dropping out of elite universities. Why? Because guess what: Mommy and daddy are there to pay for it when they decide to go back.
> The other big issue is that I don’t really know how to reach out to people. I’m not a collaborator; I’m a recluse. In my life, I’ve always done things from scratch. Now I have to make meetings, ask people for information, decide that something needs to be done and tell another team to do it, etc. To get good at this, it feels like I basically have to rewire my entire personality, and I don’t know how to go about doing this. I’ve also found myself not asking clarifying questions when something doesn’t make sense in a meeting—see “muddled thoughts” above—and then I’m stuck figuring out whatever it was that I misunderstood on my own time (or not at all).
You sound like you have anxiety problems. What have you done to address your anti-social tendencies? Are you going to a therapist? Do you expect a fairy to fly into your house and magic them away? What job do you think exists where you don't need these skills?
I know this is harsh to say, but: There is no finish line where you get a medal and a "You don't have to act like a normal person at work anymore" card. These problems are not going away and being fatalistic about them and deciding it's too much of a bother to work on them and address them is never going to fix anything.
Also, you think being an entrepreneur will allow you to talk to FEWER people and prevent you from having to reach out to people?
Sincere question: Why do you want to be an entrepreneur? What are your goals?
Wanting to be an entrepreneur in order to chase after the coat-tails of Mark Zuckerberg and other elite business owners is not a goal.
Wanting to be an entrepreneur because you have anxiety issues and want to run away from your problems instead of addressing them is not a goal.
And if you think you will make more money, you are PROBABLY wrong. 100k/year with no personal risk is a margin a LOT of small businesses would LOVE to have.
> What do I do? How do I get better?
GO TO A THERAPIST. Have them help you set goals. Listen to them and follow through with their advice.
Having a therapist does not mean you are crazy, and you don't NEED to be crazy to have one. It means you have having a neutral person who helps you track and set goals, track your moods, and help you process work relationships and events. Michael Jordan has a coach, brain workers have therapists.
Also: Learn to read. Look at these titans of industry and people at the top of their field, and then look at their reading list. Invariably it will be intensely long and full of boring books.
Read some books on productivity and emotional intelligence and software engineering and managing your life in general. Find people you admire and read their book recommendations.
My recommendations to start out:
- Deep Work - Cal Newport
- Measure What Matters - John Doerr
- The Pragmatic Programmer - Dave Thomas + Andrew Hunt
- Actual books about the programming environment you are working in.