451–460 of 483 posts
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Wow, you respond to a comment about false dichotomy by invoking the false dichotomy.
Correct. My point is that you can't always be nice. It works as little as always being abrasive.
> I'm still not exactly the most empathetic person. > But I'm hoping I can at least 'fake it until I > make it'. This is great! If you ask me, "faking it" is really just as good as "actually" being a more helpful or empathetic person. What do you think "actually" being a helpful or empathetic person is like? It's basically just continually expending the effort to be helpful and empathetic. Let's say my brother calls…
The best part was the next sentence: > Part of that 'faking it' is definitely going to be a filter on my outgoing emails That's about 95% of what people asked for over the decades. You can get your point across without incendiary language and belittling comments, and merely scanning for sensitive words is enough for most cases
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No; it's just being shitty, and to be frank I think you know that. "This code has more warnings than we accept under our process; please remedy." You aren't telling onlookers that they will be lit on fire for the temerity to contribute, you aren't causing anyone to lose face and you aren't hurting anyone . No aspersions, no chilling effects, and a positive path forward. Done and done. Everyone wins. To do otherwise i…
> "This code has more warnings than we accept under our process; please remedy." That fails to address the possibility that their process is broken, and so achieves the possibility of inducing technical debt when these issues will inevitably arise again. Fixing process can be as important as fixing code.
There have been a lot of electrons perturbed dancing around that that's what we're talking about, yes?
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I would like to point out: you just insulted a number of people’s emotional intelligence, while talking about how important it is to be nice.
Correctly identifying poor emotional intelligence as such is not necessarily nice, no. Fortunately I never-not-once said a word about "how important it is to be nice". It's important to not be a toxic asshole. There is a real and obvious difference between the assertion I made and the assertion you are attempting to say that I made.
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I'm white. I decided long ago that everyone needs to treat everyone fairly. Part of that is basing promotions/etc on merit, but part of that is understanding that people are different and have different strengths and weaknesses, some of which are because of the culture they come from. This applies equally to whites and people of color, rich and poor, nationalities, and more. I have yet to find a culture that didn't h…
> If I'm in a meeting and stop someone from ruling out a potential candidate because of skin color, did I harm their culture? How could you possibly know the candidate is being ruled out for skin color?
But even without that, it's possible to recognize weasel words that people are using to rule them out that have more to do with skin color, nationality, or anything other than skill and personality. And even personality can be iffy, depending on what they decide isn't acceptable.
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I wish there was a way to get more of those ideas to me, and people in general, and less of the "I drink white male tears".
I don't think that there are any garbage people. Everybody has some good in them. (This doesn't imply we shouldn't set some boundaries).
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I'm not sure you realize but this exact tone of discourse comes across as patronizing. Please stop playing messiah for minorities. Also, I'm not some super rich privileged person. As a matter of fact, I'm unemployed right now but privilege or no privilege, there's no reason to cripple good open source software which is already one of the most equalizing resources that has been produced by mankind.
" there's no reason to cripple good open source software" Nobody is doing that. No one. That is not happening at all. I'm sorry, but people not being assholes to each other is not going to affect the quality of software in a negative manner.
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I don't know, but the idioms of the "white lie" and "polite fiction" certainly imply some connection between impoliteness and truth-telling, don't they?
So what? There are also non benevolent lies and polite truth.
On the other hand the idioms identified point to a long-standing understanding that sometimes, they are in conflict; a corollary of which is that one who always chooses complete honesty has likely failed to be polite from time to time, and one who is unfailingly polite has, like the curate describing his egg, likely given less than the total truth.
Most of us tend towards the politeness side of the tradeoff - we might, for example, describe a potential process failure when a more honest appraisal is that carelessness was the root cause.