Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#101

Post by AnnoyingSwede » Fri, Sep 07, 2018, 9:31 AM UTC

anothergoogler wrote: post #46

AnnoyingSwede wrote: post #38

Like a few other mentioned, don't label your self as damaged and even avoid labling yourself by a prognos you might or might not have gotten. During my life i have seen quite a handful of people with rather small problems blowing them up into unreasonably large sandcastles that only prohibited further development and covered every bridge they wanted to pass. Like many other here i loved computers as a kid but growing…

One nit to pick, a beginning rider should NOT get a 1000cc superbike and then use it for an adrenaline rush. That's a ticket to the ER/morgue.

My first bike was CBR919RR, but i see where you are coming from. And the main goal is not using it as a drug, but as a means of transportation that gives you that little extra, something that makes you smile. But with this said, use the correct clothing and common sense. If you are an adrenaline junkie restrict your motorbiking to a track instead.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#102

Post by AnnoyingSwede » Fri, Sep 07, 2018, 9:31 AM UTC

acct1771 wrote: post #63

reaktion wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed. Speaking from experience, any bike is a trip to the ER. Riding in to my office job was one of the best parts of my day - until I was hit head on by a car. It's not worth it to me anymore, cyclists are invisible to drivers!

Try louder exhaust next time =P

I cant upvote this enought, loud pipes save lifes.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#103

Post by dawidw » Fri, Sep 07, 2018, 1:19 PM UTC

ak39 wrote: post #96

dawidw wrote: post #41

> At 35, I was divorced and had to start from scratch. That seems to be the root of the problem. Do you have children?

I thought so too. But didn’t want to post because it is a total guess. Breaking and ending a once loving, intimate and totally absorbing relationship is one of the hardest things for a human to endure. The end of anything is always sad, the end of relationships most of all. But again, we are guessing. Life’s multifactorial and single issues often connect, catalyse and exaggerate what the mind imagines to be a single…

I asked about children not because of curiosity, but how to deal with the situation.

I think if OP doesn't have kids, then the best would be just finish all the contacts with ex-wife. Physical and mental. It's mental effort due to fact that you can't forget you had wife.

If OP has kids, the situation is more complicated. Kids need parents, even they are divorced/separated. So I would encourage to keep the best contact with them as possible in certain circumstances. The problem is that there will be need to constantly meet ex-wife, and that would require even bigger mental effort to deal with it.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#104

Post by uptownfunk » Fri, Sep 07, 2018, 9:32 PM UTC

If your state is not where you want it to be then you have to change it somehow. There are many ways to do it, but maybe consider taking a break from work and doing something else if you can afford it.

Volunteer somewhere, help someone else out if you are in a position to do so.

If you think it's medical/clinical then seek professional help.

There are many buddhist/christian/hindu/etc. retreat centers around the world, consider a stay there for a few days and keep an open mind, you may find something there. It's not much different then a mental hospital except they won't force you to take meds.

Many times for smart/technical folks, the problem is less psychochemical and more intellectual/philosophical in nature. All the best, hope you find the help/motivation you need..

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#105

Post by tixocloud » Sat, Sep 08, 2018, 8:11 AM UTC

Hi Pete, I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. If I may recall, did you start a newsletter service of some sort in the past? We may have crossed paths before.

Nevertheless, your journey to this point has been nothing short of remarkable and you should be proud of all your accomplishments. Many people probably do not have the good fortune to pull off what you’ve done.

I think everyone goes through moments where they feel trapped so feel what you feel but also know that you have the ability to overcome it.

I’m happy if you’d like a buddy to listen to. Sometimes it’s best to just let it all out and express yourself. Visit some place you’ve never been. See worlds different from yours and you might discover new things.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#106

Post by coretx » Sat, Sep 08, 2018, 3:56 PM UTC

Try some magic mushrooms and learn something totally new.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#107

Post by cableshaft » Tue, Sep 11, 2018, 6:39 PM UTC

Madmallard wrote: post #94

cableshaft wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know about most of your work. That's time not spent on creative pursuits, usually (there are exceptions to this) and relationships can drain you in a different way. I tend to get a lot more out of creative pursuits, personally. But both are good.

Finding the right people to pursue creative ambitions with > doing it on your own

If you can find those people and keep those people, yeah. I've found those tend to fall apart over time, though, have creative differences, etc. Some of my more interesting works have been in collaboration with others, though.

I've had better luck with finding people where you work on your own thing, but at the same time/location, and sometimes bounce some ideas their direction to get their thoughts on things.