Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

Build your own zen garden, continue doing what is good for you and try to let the destructive things way behind as from another era. I guess there is a change resistance as the age process is going, pain comes as result either physical or mental. Change is also healthy, dare to do new things and be in situations were you can achieve simple positive outcome.

PS. Search also for 'The Art of the Good Life' by Rolf Dobelli

Are you seeing a therapist?

I would highly recommend going to a therapist. I had the same problem around a year ago, and having an unbiased person to go and talk to about my feelings once a week, keep track of my moods and persistent frustrations, and help me set and meet realistic goals was extremely helpful. I also made it clear I was not interested in taking any medication.

I went for about a year straight, but I don't go anymore. I still value the time I spent in therapy and thought it was helpful. I simply progressed enough such that the ball was in my court. I'll probably go back in a year or two.

Read "12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson. It has many interesting ideas which were new to me and it helped me understand many of the things going on in my life. It is not a recipe for happiness but a set of tools that you can use to analyse yourself and others and to become a better person.

Like a few other mentioned, don't label your self as damaged and even avoid labling yourself by a prognos you might or might not have gotten. During my life i have seen quite a handful of people with rather small problems blowing them up into unreasonably large sandcastles that only prohibited further development and covered every bridge they wanted to pass.

Like many other here i loved computers as a kid but growing up making it my job made me lose that love, and i barelly hack software at home anymore. The reason i love being at work is because i have great coworkers, not that i burn for what i do. I bet a lot here can identify themselves with this here.

If i could just give you one advise, it would be: Get a 1000cc superbike. I have a very short commute to work, but i only need to ride 5 minutes to come to work all pumped with adrenalin, which i replace with a coffeine-rush as i step in to the office. The rest of the day flows, and i can't wait to get back on my bike to go home. This might not be a one-size-fits-all-solution, but it's worth a try and a mention.

Good luck mate.

I'm 34, and it sounds like I struggle with a lot of the same emotional issues that you do.

I wish I had a better answer for you, but all I have is "just keep swimming".

The first time I experienced depression and anhedonia, it basically broke me. I was truly despondent and was almost incapable of hope for the future. In time - and with the help of family, my wife, psychologists, and prescription drugs - it lifted.

That first time took almost two years before I saw the first glimmers of hope again; two years before I felt anything, really. Thereafter, just knowing that it was a temporary state and that it had passed before help more than anything else. I go through bouts of it every few months now and during that time I'm much less effective in both my personal and professional life, but it passes much more quickly and with much less effort from me.

I just... wait it out. I recognize that the way I feel isn't based on real inputs, but is just a part of the way my body works. I strongly distrust my own emotions, and always verify that what I'm feeling has a rational basis. If it doesn't, I do my best to make decisions without regard for how I feel about the.

And yes, being outside seems to help me quite a bit.