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People start hating their jobs at 35

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Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#21

Post by _lbaq »

badpun wrote: post #12

For me it was at 24, about 2 years after I started working. The first two years were exciting vanity-filled ride, because I was proving that to myself and others that I was really capable. I got quickly promoted to a project manager role (that was in a time and organization where PMs weren't just bureucrats, the role was exciting). Delivering my first project was hell of a ride (coffee and red-bull powered one), but…

At your age (if it’s mid 20s) money should be around the bottom of the priolist, later in life that may not be an option

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#23

Post by Cthulhu_ »

jib wrote: post #5

I mean, the article says that 1 in 6 does. I’d say that is pretty ok if anything. That some people get disillusioned as they get older is probably normal. That most still are happy with work seems nice - there’s a lot of crappy jobs out there.

Yeah that's something to keep in mind - there should be an equivalent, positive article saying 5 in 6 people above 35 are happy with their job. That's a really good number!

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#24

Post by vfc1 »

I think its because through experience people have figured out a lot of unspoken things about what its really like being an employee.

They have figured out that its much more about connections and office politics than hard work.

They have figured out that there is really no job security, and they could be one layoff wave away from unemployment.

They have figured out that its much more about face time and spending long hours at work rather than actually being productive.

They have figured out that the majority of their work, to their surprise is not actually that important or necessary.

They have figured out that its important not to take too much vacations, because its an opportunity to loose the little work they have to someone else.

They have figured out that they are never going to get payed the true value of their work,and that is almost the definition of being an employee.

They have figured out that its all a system of serventry not too different from the medieval relation between master and servant.

They have figured out that its a system that they are being grinded through and discarded, and that they are condemned for life to making someone else rich, never getting a chance to trully furfill their dreams and ambitions.

All of this takes a lot of time to figure out and piece together, it takes over ten years, and so the age 35 seems about right.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#25

Post by mattbrewsbytes »

mrhappyunhappy wrote: post #7

35 is probably the age where you have accepted the fact that you are just a cog in the machine, and the output will benefit someone other than yourself. For years leading up to it you already know youre just trading your life's precious hours away for money - which seems to have less and less purchasing power by the year. Once you realize the job is just a means of keeping yourself going, the perpetual cycle dawns on…

We as software engineers make a damn good amount of money for literally sitting down all day and basically bossing computers around. It is not slavery.

I enjoy what I do and am making decent money doing it. If I won the lottery with FU money, yeah, I'd be done working for others.

I think around 35 is when you may see through any illusions employers have with buying into their grand mission statements or whatever to get you to work more for them with no more reward. You realize working for someone else is what the gig is and accept that.

When I get home from work sometimes I want to continue on the problem I was working on all day. Most of the time I stop myself and do other things I enjoy - relaxing things, hobbies, etc. Sometimes I will work on work stuff but that is up to me (unless it is some outage or emergency type thing).

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#26

Post by badpun »

_lbaq wrote: post #21
badpun wrote: post #12

For me it was at 24, about 2 years after I started working. The first two years were exciting vanity-filled ride, because I was proving that to myself and others that I was really capable. I got quickly promoted to a project manager role (that was in a time and organization where PMs weren't just bureucrats, the role was exciting). Delivering my first project was hell of a ride (coffee and red-bull powered one), but…

At your age (if it’s mid 20s) money should be around the bottom of the priolist, later in life that may not be an option

I'm nearing my fourties now. I have saved 27 years' worth of living expenses, assuming my current lifestyle (or longer, if I at some point decide to downgrade). Recently, I have given my notice. I want to finally try something else.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#28

Post by grecy »

germinalphrase wrote: post #14
grecy wrote: post #4

I can't stress this enough - if you're not happy with life, and you feel like you aren't moving closer to your goals and dreams, make a change!!! I realized that sitting at my desk for 30 years to pay for a house was not what I wanted to do, so I quit my job and have been driving around Africa for 2 years[1]. I dreamed for years of being a travel writer and photographer, and I am making that dream come true! I now wr…

Do you worry about coming out of the other end of these travels - by choice or circumstance - and not having the stability/financial cushion that maintaining a steady job would have afforded you?

No. I've made a conscious decision not to live life in fear, and not make decisions based on fear.

Having spent 2 years driving from AK to Argentina and now 2 years in Africa, I know more strongly than ever that I'm not interested in a "stable" or "guaranteed" future. It takes away so much spontaneity and adventure from life, and those are things I'm not willing to give up. Without them, I personally don't think life is worth living.

Interestingly I have recently met a bunch of people in Mozambique/Zimbabwe/Zambia who went to university or otherwise lived in London/USA/Australia for a few years. As soon as possible they returned to live in Africa. Quote "I don't want to just exist, I want to live."

Just the other week I met a 92 y/o lady who knows all about adventure. In 1950 her Dad loaded his wife, two daughters and the family dog into an old truck and drove from London to Zambia. The adventures they had on that journey far outweigh anything I have seen or experienced. He randomly made his home there, and she had endless stories of sitting on the porch watching elephants and a million other things. In her lifetime she hand raised a hippo that lived in her house for 19 years, raised a chimp that slept in her bed, and now runs an orphanage/foundation for well over 100 chimps.

When we're open to it, we can find a life of adventure that is extremely fulfilling, and I want that life.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#29

Post by albertgoeswoof »

vfc1 wrote: post #24

I think its because through experience people have figured out a lot of unspoken things about what its really like being an employee. They have figured out that its much more about connections and office politics than hard work. They have figured out that there is really no job security, and they could be one layoff wave away from unemployment. They have figured out that its much more about face time and spending lon…

> They have figured out that the majority of their work, to their surprise is not actually that important or necessary.

I used to keep wondering when I was going to get found out for not contributing to the company's bottom line like the other thousands of employees around me seem to do every day.

But then I realised that everyone else is probably doing exactly the same. And either a) none of us are doing anything valuable b) a small % are the driving force or c) we are greater than the sum of our parts

I hope it's c), feel like it's probably b), but maybe a) really is a real world scenario.

Re: People start hating their jobs at 35

#30

Post by Balero »

konart wrote: post #13
grecy wrote: post #4

I can't stress this enough - if you're not happy with life, and you feel like you aren't moving closer to your goals and dreams, make a change!!! I realized that sitting at my desk for 30 years to pay for a house was not what I wanted to do, so I quit my job and have been driving around Africa for 2 years[1]. I dreamed for years of being a travel writer and photographer, and I am making that dream come true! I now wr…

Sounds nice, but what about your family? Relatives that might need your attention? I love examples like this one, but unfortunatelly they can't be applied to a general guy. Though I have to agree that you have to go for a change one way or the other. Some people can do this almost right now, some will have to do some kind of preparations which can take quite some time too. PS: not to metion that economical\social con…

I think the entire point of this is to drop what you perceive to be your obligations and to focus on yourself.

You first have to identify what you see as your obligations, and to query them. This can be the keeping up with the Joneses, buying stuff for your partner/kids or being around family. In some cases what you think of as your obligations really aren't, your partner would rather spend time with you happy than get a bunch of stuff from you.

Sometimes what you think of as an obligation is something you really do have to do, like looking after your kids, or if some other family needs care. Though I like to think of these as responsibilities rather than obligations, something I've actively chosen rather than something that I've been lumped with.

I think this critical look at these pressures, and what really should be informing your life is key to being able to re-orient yourself to something that can make you happier.

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