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The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

theguardian.com

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Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#71

Post by SpouseThrowaway »

8xde0wcNwpslOw wrote: post #66
SpouseThrowaway wrote: post #58

I’m using a throwaway account and trying to keep personal details sparse to keep this as anonymous as possible. Also, despite my frustration with the situation, I’ll attempt to be as neutral as possible. My significant other was always “germ conscious”; clean hands, no shoes in the house, etc. Nothing over the top or alarming. However, over the years, there have been huge shifts in behavior and routine in regards to…

I'm not a doctor, but I'm almost certain your SO absolutely needs to discuss these things with someone to have any chance of relieving, or reversing the trend you mentioned. From my past experiences, I must unfortunately say that you might be just about the last person they want to, or can discuss it with (as strange as that sounds), but without them confronting their habits, it is unlikely it is going to get easier.…

They 100% don't want to discuss it with me.

I suffer from a terrible temper that goes from 0 to 10 before I know it. I've balanced it by taking constructive feedback and being mindful of my triggers. That was a hard road to travel and I still slip up. For the longest time, I thought I knew best and nobody understood. Least of all, my significant other.

So, I completely empathize with their difficulty discussing it with me. The problem is, they won't discuss it with anybody else either. I'm not sure if it was a slip-up, moment of clarity or a mistake. But, my spouse once said that "I don't want to live like this". Which was a window for an actually constructive conversation. I casually mentioned talking to a professional, which was met with stubbornness. But, there's be no progress since then.

We've been together for nearly 20 years, so I've seen this progress to where it is today. The next step is for this person to open up to somebody else. I just have to tip-toe on how I might suggest that notion. "In sickness and in health" right?

Ironically enough, when I was confronted with my anger issues, I was basically given an ultimatum that I needed to find help. To which I was very receptive.

This entire conversation is fraught with society's terrible attitude towards mental health, mental wellness and mindfulness.

Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#72

Post by stephengillie »

liberte82 wrote: post #67
rndmwlk wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have the exact same compulsion with locking my door. If I leave my apartment and I don't do my little ritual then I'll either be worried all day, or some times I'll drive back to my apartment and "properly" close the door.

Oh yeah I've had this one big time in the past. It sort of comes and goes, hasn't been bothering me much lately. But a few times at my old job I drove all the way back into work to verify I'd locked the door when leaving for the night even though I was _very_ conscious about locking it - I just wasn't was totally certain as I felt I needed to be. If this starts bugging me again I'm going to start taking pictures of t…

Have you tried balancing this urge to return, against self-anger and humiliation at all the time and gas you're wasting by driving back to check?

When I get irrational urges, I make the urges battle my insecurities and get out of the way. Insecurities usually win.

Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#73

Post by fatbird »

inertiatic wrote: post #14
193 wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, one way out is behavioral therapy. Obsessive compulsive disorder is a form of anxiety disorder. You are afraid of something (sickness, death, loosing control) - then you get obsessive about it and then you do some compulsive action to mentally ease that thought/anxiety. But now you have "learned" to behave in a certain way to feel better. And you are weighting the triggering thought as more important by giving…

Unless you pull a logical trick to reduce every discomfort to fear, I don't agree that everyone that suffers from OCD is afraid of something and anxious about it.

What 193 is describing isn't a conversion of discomfort to fear, it's an a-rational pattern of behaviour that's independent of discomfort or fear.

Orwell talked about reinforcing effects: "A man may drink because he is failing, then become all the more a failure because he drinks." OCD as a form of anxiety is about a sufferer having taught themselves to behaviourally self-medicate. And just like most forms of addictive self-medication, it becomes a reinforcing effect that's somewhat independent of any real objective cause.

CBT and other behavioural approaches to therapy try (with measurable success) to interrupt that self-reinforcing behavioural effect. Many here are talking about somewhat obsessively checking things, and they're describing it perfectly: "did I check? I'll check again just to make sure", which grants a moment of relief from the anxiety; give it a few minutes, and the anxiety returns, forcing another hit of reassurance to be sought. OCD is an extreme form of addiction to this cycle.

Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#74

Post by stephengillie »

SketchySeaBeast wrote: post #60
robbick wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While this is somewhat true, it can easily lead to the idea that mental health problems aren't serious because they are just further along a scale than me. We all have kidneys that don't work perfectly, so we are all on a continuum of kidney failure, however you'd describe some people as having kidney failure and others not, only a few people would be 'borderline'. I appreciate that may not have been what you meant,…

Mental health is totally a (multidimensional) spectrum, and in mental health it switches from normal to a "problem" if it's affecting your life. There are a ton of medical conditions where we've drawn lines in where we think it goes from normal to a problem (blood pressure, blood glucose) and I don't think anyone is saying "oh, your blood glucose is just different than mine, you don't have it that bad". We even have…

Too often the "spectrum" theory is used to humble-brag about one's own success in the face of self-diagnosed shortcomings. Vocal patients with mild cases of a disease can then receive more support and treatment than less-vocal patients with more severe cases.

Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#75

Post by stephengillie »

djhworld wrote: post #19

I have OCD, although it's not crippling. My triggers tend to flare up most at night before I go to bed, or in the morning when I leave for work. Did I checked the hob is off, is the fridge closed, did I lock the door? Did I close the windows? What if I left the iron on and it falls over and starts a fire the house burns down with me inside it? It's amazing how the mind can "catastrophize" mundane situations. I live a…

What is a "hob"?

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hob

Definition of hob

1 dialectal, England : hobgoblin, elf

2 : mischief, trouble —used with play and raise always raising hob

But your context describes some sort of appliance.

Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#76

Post by victorbojica »

Retric wrote: post #70
_xlr2 wrote: post #2

I'm appreciative of somebody who also has OCD writing an article like this detailing how the disorder isn't at all like the stereotype of a neat freak. What's funny is, I myself am actually a terribly messy person with books and papers always strewn about (among clothes not quite in the hamper, &c). What's interesting to me from a personal history viewpoint is that one of my earliest compulsions also centered around…

Would it help if you had a webcam pointed at the door so you could remotely verify it's closed and locked? Or do you need some the actual feeling of the door being closed to end the fixation?

Really want to see an answer on this

Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#77

Post by zamber »

56chan4 wrote: post #22
bpizzi wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for sharing. The complexities of the human brain will never cease to amaze me. There should be a way, in all this neuronal maze, to escape those compulsions, but I bet it's really well hidden.

I would want to measure dietary Taurine levels in the body for a start. Experiments consuming 3g/day have shown no side effects, but your main source is limited to energy drinks so you have to contend with caffeine, and Taurine does not last long in the body (can start to be expelled in urine within 10mins), much like many of the water soluble chemicals classed as vitamins or minerals. Cooking actually destroys it fr…

> some scientific studies have shown a link between vegetarianism and a variety of mental health issues including OCD

Could you provide links or keywords? My close family went full-vegan ~ 2y ago and I'm worried they may be doing themselves more harm than good.

If taurine is a start, then all other microelements are the continuation? Studies for taurine would also be helpful.

Is this a troll given the username?

Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#78

Post by stephengillie »

fb03 wrote: post #44

I am not gonna post this as anonymous, because I need to put this out of my chest: I am absolutely terrified of blood pressure being high/measuring it. I was giggling (and almost crying) while reading the article, because putting it out into words makes it sounds really ridiculous, stupid, and obvious, but for us while we are following one of our 'mental stories', it feels very real. I have the same stuff OP wrote ab…

Can you feel your heart beating within your chest, and blood pulsing through your body? Why do you trust external metrics more than internal metrics?

Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#79

Post by [deleted] »

SpouseThrowaway wrote: post #58

I’m using a throwaway account and trying to keep personal details sparse to keep this as anonymous as possible. Also, despite my frustration with the situation, I’ll attempt to be as neutral as possible. My significant other was always “germ conscious”; clean hands, no shoes in the house, etc. Nothing over the top or alarming. However, over the years, there have been huge shifts in behavior and routine in regards to…

[deleted]

Re: The terrible 'what if': how OCD makes every day a matter of life or death

#80

Post by stephengillie »

cryoshon wrote: post #64
SpouseThrowaway wrote: post #58

I’m using a throwaway account and trying to keep personal details sparse to keep this as anonymous as possible. Also, despite my frustration with the situation, I’ll attempt to be as neutral as possible. My significant other was always “germ conscious”; clean hands, no shoes in the house, etc. Nothing over the top or alarming. However, over the years, there have been huge shifts in behavior and routine in regards to…

this might be medically unadvisable, but i have found that education goes a long way towards disarming the notion that anything can ever really be clean if it is in your house. i helped one of my friends be slightly less obsessed with cleanliness this way. let's say you bleach down a perfectly smooth countertop in your kitchen. okay, it's clean, there's no bacteria there. for about two seconds. probably less, in real…

Previously on HN:

800 million viruses fall onto every square meter of Earth every day. They kill 20% of bacterial life every day. [0]

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16839636

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