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Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

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Re: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

#41

Post by VladRussian »

lionhearted wrote: post #11

This comment will be controversial, especially for North Americans and Western Europeans. I ask you to read it and think about it a moment before reacting, and comment if you disagree. I believe what I'm about to say is true, and I'm not trying to get a rise out of people - I want to fix some problems with society. I feel for the author. I also moved around a lot as a kid. No, wasn't a military family. Just coinciden…

>If you're not strong enough to impose your will on someone making violence on you, then train and get stronger. If you're intelligent, it doesn't matter if the other guy is bigger than you. Take up boxing or martial arts. Brain beats brawn.

In 9th grade having a little boxing under my belt, i was attacked by and successfully won the fight with 2 10th graders. Well, a half-day latter, the 10+ of them met me. Not everybody was beating me though - it was just too crowded :). And they weren't even too cruel - i was even able to walk several hours later. They taught me a valuable lesson - for any force there will always be a much bigger force.

Re: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

#42

Post by bena »

lionhearted wrote: post #11

This comment will be controversial, especially for North Americans and Western Europeans. I ask you to read it and think about it a moment before reacting, and comment if you disagree. I believe what I'm about to say is true, and I'm not trying to get a rise out of people - I want to fix some problems with society. I feel for the author. I also moved around a lot as a kid. No, wasn't a military family. Just coinciden…

If you want people to back off, the first thing you have to do is show them that you are willing to take things much further than the situation warrants.

If you think someone is going to go apeshit on you for something small, you don't ever risk seeing what they'll do in response to stronger stimuli.

Re: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

#43

Post by Entlin »

Dove wrote: post #14

I disagree strongly with the sentiment that bullies just need love, that they're only doing it because they are hurting too. People are diverse, so I won't deny that perhaps that's sometimes true. But I think it would be more accurate to say that bullies do it because it's fun and above all because they can . In short, bullies need to face punishments with teeth. And the bullied need to have access to a justice syste…

That's the best post in this entire thread. People don't get bullied in adulthood because there is a working police and judicial entity. People get bullied as kids because there isn't one.

Currently kids grow up for 18 years in a everyone-for-himself, in-order-to-be-successfull-you-need-physical-strength-and-iron-will world, and just then they switch to the much better and fairer world where being sucessful is not dependant on being able to defend your own flesh.

That adult system of self-fulfillment while not having to mind fighting bad guys all the time is the basis of our scientific and economic progress of the past 200 years. The big question: why do we put our kids into a different, unnecessery, dangerous and toxic environment for their first 18 years?

Re: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

#45

Post by rikthevik »

God damn, is childhood a tough time. Life seems really easy these days. Grade five felt about 10 years long.

Maybe I don't remember how bad it was, but I find myself thinking of the kids who were doing the bullying. The one guy became an alcoholic in High School because his dad needed someone to drink with during the day. School wasn't good, but when I got home I was mostly in the clear. It's hard to imagine how a child who felt constant fear and violence at home could do anything but impose those things on others.

I hope that I can instill in my children both the skills to resist bullying for themselves, but also the sense of justice to fight it when it's done to others.

Re: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

#46

Post by [deleted] »

xiongchiamiov wrote: post #33
lionhearted wrote: post #11

This comment will be controversial, especially for North Americans and Western Europeans. I ask you to read it and think about it a moment before reacting, and comment if you disagree. I believe what I'm about to say is true, and I'm not trying to get a rise out of people - I want to fix some problems with society. I feel for the author. I also moved around a lot as a kid. No, wasn't a military family. Just coinciden…

The fucking Batman?

[deleted]

Re: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

#47

Post by fanboy123 »

brudgers wrote: post #10

PG's essay along similar lines: http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html

Wow great article thanks for the link. I don't know if I agree with the statement that nerds are separated from the pack by some sort of seperate value system. I remember all the middle-upper class kids that were attractive were automatically popular unless there was something very abnormal about them. Life is pretty harsh, if you are awkward or funny looking you START off placed in a box, which makes it much more likely over time to find comfort in a book/computer rather than "being like everybody else."

I think that a large component of feeling like you ended up with a different mindset due to "innate desire" is rationalization after being kicked out of the herd.

Re: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

#48

Post by cosgroveb »

lotharbot wrote: post #17
lionhearted wrote: post #11

This comment will be controversial, especially for North Americans and Western Europeans. I ask you to read it and think about it a moment before reacting, and comment if you disagree. I believe what I'm about to say is true, and I'm not trying to get a rise out of people - I want to fix some problems with society. I feel for the author. I also moved around a lot as a kid. No, wasn't a military family. Just coinciden…

Both your post and the original overgeneralize, treating bullies as a monolithic entity with a single motivation and a single response. Bullies are not "wild animals" bullying for "no reason", they're people with unique intellects and desires and motivations that you, or they, may not understand. They may want others to see them as tough, or to feel powerful or in control, or for laughs, or because they have somethin…

Making him feel respected and improving his self-esteem? I remember how adults used to bullshit me and tell me that low-esteem was why so-and-so was probably bullying me and that I should pity him or at least try to understand.

Fuck that. I believe that there is a tiny tiny percentage of a chance that that is actually ever the cause of bullying.

Maybe I'm biased though. I was a "target" from grades 4-8 and didn't make a single friend until high school. It's a miracle that I'm as well-adjusted as I am. I knew others who weren't as lucky as I.

Sorry for the language in this comment. This is something I have very strong feelings about.

Re: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

#49

Post by hugh3 »

djhworld wrote: post #13

Here in the UK, many schools have a zero tolerance policy to bullying, but this is nothing more than an empty gesture. As soon as a kid tells a teacher about their bullying problems, the bullying will most certainly not stop as the school as no power over what goes on beyond the school gates. Bullies are never punished for their actions, which is why this problem always perpetuates.

There's no point in having a zero-tolerance policy if you don't have any useful punishments to dole out. Some kids are afraid of getting detention, but the ones who aren't are the ones who are causing problems.

This is why I believe in bringing back corporal punishment in schools. It shouldn't be used too regularly, but it's important that for every child there is a punishment which they really fear.

Re: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

#50

Post by daylast »

I am in my thirties now and it still utterly astonishes me the degree to which the school administrators, teachers and parents in my high school viewed bullying with blithe ignorance. I was never bullied myself and I was never a bully, but I witnessed atrocities that would land any adult perpetrator behind bars for several years. Sexual assaults of mentally handicapped kids, kids having their heads forced into the water of a dirty toilet, kids shot with pellet guns during class, on-going intimidation, beatings, etc. Amazingly, this is just the stuff that I personally witnessed...I'm sure worse things happened that I never saw. All of this transpired with virtually zero repercussions for the bullies involved. It was truly sad. What is even more sad is that the adults at the school essentially turned a blind eye to this behaviour. I sure hope things have changed since then.
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