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The intolerable rise of perfectionism

theguardian.com

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Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#61

Post by stochastic_monk »

pygy_ wrote: post #39
stochastic_monk wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To make this point relevant, are you more familiar with French and thereby translating an idea of yours in French to English with a not-quite-perfect cognate? Without such a connection, the reasoning for stating this is unclear to me. Could you clarify?

I'm a native French speaker, fluently thinking in English. There's a vast pool of vocabulary that is common to both languages, from which I draw words indiscriminately (Latin roots and the same formula to derive verbs/nouns/adjectives, with minor variations for each langage (e.g. add "-ate" for verbs in Englsih and "-er" in French)). Some of these are so-called "false friends", with different meanings in both languag…

Thank you, I wasn’t quite sure.

As a native English speaker who has learned French, I’ve often run into “faux amis”. Perhaps the most embarrassing was “préservatifs”, which I expected to mean preservatives but actually meant condoms.

Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#62

Post by [deleted] »

watwut wrote: post #59
s-shellfish wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would be careful about the word 'retaliate'. People internalize information differently. If you hurt someone's feelings, they may internalize that, try to reason out exactly what the problem is, and then accidentally project those feelings onto someone random because emotional and empathetic exhaustion is a thing that can happen to anyone. The reason such individuals exist and do such phenomena is because they don'…

Point taken. There are many different reactions to being hurt and possible backslash about me is just one of them. I may also end up doing harm to hurt person, either because my hurt will influence them to their detriment (they will internalize my angry outburst etc) or because of how third parties will perceive them due to what I say. I did not meant retaliation as purely bad act on the side of hurt person. It may h…

[deleted]

Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#63

Post by s-shellfish »

watwut wrote: post #59
s-shellfish wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would be careful about the word 'retaliate'. People internalize information differently. If you hurt someone's feelings, they may internalize that, try to reason out exactly what the problem is, and then accidentally project those feelings onto someone random because emotional and empathetic exhaustion is a thing that can happen to anyone. The reason such individuals exist and do such phenomena is because they don'…

Point taken. There are many different reactions to being hurt and possible backslash about me is just one of them. I may also end up doing harm to hurt person, either because my hurt will influence them to their detriment (they will internalize my angry outburst etc) or because of how third parties will perceive them due to what I say. I did not meant retaliation as purely bad act on the side of hurt person. It may h…

There's a limit to what you can believe you have control over.

> If I don't have to care about hurting their feelings, they don't have to care about mine.

That's something you have to assume initially. The problem is it's only true over time. It's something that may be true at the moment of interaction, or it may be something that is true because of the interaction.

Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#64

Post by TheAceOfHearts »

xtf wrote: post #42

I've seen "What Happens When A Night Owl Is Forced To Live Like An Early Bird"[0] yesterday and wonder how it correlates with this. It basically says that 27% of the population are night owls and are in an evolutionary sense our natural night watch and when forced into a daytime schedule, always tired. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kZVbE_coSA

Rather tangential to this, but I've always had trouble getting up early and maintaining that schedule. A little over a month ago I changed my diet to reduce carbs as much as possible, and I've never felt so alert and awake. Waking up early went from a grueling task to something that just happens naturally. I know this is just one anecdote, but I wonder if some of the mentioned people might also benefit from trying different diets.

Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#65

Post by slededit »

TheAceOfHearts wrote: post #64
xtf wrote: post #42

I've seen "What Happens When A Night Owl Is Forced To Live Like An Early Bird"[0] yesterday and wonder how it correlates with this. It basically says that 27% of the population are night owls and are in an evolutionary sense our natural night watch and when forced into a daytime schedule, always tired. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kZVbE_coSA

Rather tangential to this, but I've always had trouble getting up early and maintaining that schedule. A little over a month ago I changed my diet to reduce carbs as much as possible, and I've never felt so alert and awake. Waking up early went from a grueling task to something that just happens naturally. I know this is just one anecdote, but I wonder if some of the mentioned people might also benefit from trying di…

whenever someone brings up the fact a sizeable portion of the population is forced into an unnatural sleep rythm; inevitably someone will chime in with a "I forced myself with method X and now I'm normal".

It completely misses the underlying point.

Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#66

Post by inetknght »

xtf wrote: post #42

I've seen "What Happens When A Night Owl Is Forced To Live Like An Early Bird"[0] yesterday and wonder how it correlates with this. It basically says that 27% of the population are night owls and are in an evolutionary sense our natural night watch and when forced into a daytime schedule, always tired. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kZVbE_coSA

I've noticed that my natural circadian cycle is typically between 28 to 32 hours long. I'm not sure if this is an environmental issue, mental issue, physical issue, or whatnot. But it's definitely a thing.

Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#67

Post by fjsolwmv »

slededit wrote: post #65
TheAceOfHearts wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Rather tangential to this, but I've always had trouble getting up early and maintaining that schedule. A little over a month ago I changed my diet to reduce carbs as much as possible, and I've never felt so alert and awake. Waking up early went from a grueling task to something that just happens naturally. I know this is just one anecdote, but I wonder if some of the mentioned people might also benefit from trying di…

whenever someone brings up the fact a sizeable portion of the population is forced into an unnatural sleep rythm; inevitably someone will chime in with a "I forced myself with method X and now I'm normal". It completely misses the underlying point.

Ignoring the terrible effects of carbs on health also misses the point.

Parent didn't say anything about forcing.

Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#68

Post by JamesBarney »

tsumnia wrote: post #45
s-shellfish wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Everything is a mental health condition these days. Honestly I think the mental health care industry is getting nervous over how complex, diverse and non-trivial it is to understand minds. It's easy for the field to operate on the premise 'but these poor people, we are trying to help them!'. It's at the least, a bit absurd to be hypercritical over every little detail of thinking, acting, behaving, processing, etc and…

> It seems more that one has to be cautious with who one displays those characteristics towards because it can easily provocate insecurity in others, unintentionally. This sentence seemed to irk me; because at what point does someone have to police themselves to ensure they don't "hurt someone else's feelings"? My generalization is a bit crass, but that's how this sentence came off.

> This sentence seemed to irk me; because at what point does someone have to police themselves to ensure they don't "hurt someone else's feelings"?

Only to the point they appreciate being well liked by others.

The people I know who do this the least definitely have a much harder time with other people then the people I know who do this the best.

Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#69

Post by naasking »

slededit wrote: post #65
TheAceOfHearts wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Rather tangential to this, but I've always had trouble getting up early and maintaining that schedule. A little over a month ago I changed my diet to reduce carbs as much as possible, and I've never felt so alert and awake. Waking up early went from a grueling task to something that just happens naturally. I know this is just one anecdote, but I wonder if some of the mentioned people might also benefit from trying di…

whenever someone brings up the fact a sizeable portion of the population is forced into an unnatural sleep rythm; inevitably someone will chime in with a "I forced myself with method X and now I'm normal". It completely misses the underlying point.

I'm not sure it does. Their "natural" habits aren't necessarily all that natural either. For all you know, a diet change really did correct an underlying issue causing the strange habit.

Re: The intolerable rise of perfectionism

#70

Post by wepple »

inetknght wrote: post #66
xtf wrote: post #42

I've seen "What Happens When A Night Owl Is Forced To Live Like An Early Bird"[0] yesterday and wonder how it correlates with this. It basically says that 27% of the population are night owls and are in an evolutionary sense our natural night watch and when forced into a daytime schedule, always tired. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kZVbE_coSA

I've noticed that my natural circadian cycle is typically between 28 to 32 hours long. I'm not sure if this is an environmental issue, mental issue, physical issue, or whatnot. But it's definitely a thing.

Most animals have a cycle that’s a bit off of 24 hours, and I believe it’s quite pronounced in Humans, though I can’t remember exactly how much - 27 hours? Researchers tested it by living in a cave for a month. The day/night cycle is what trims us down to 24h.32 seems very well off though.
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