81–90 of 113 posts
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Do you have any links to evidence for this being the case? Honestly curious.
https://i.imgur.com/mPToGid.jpg
> Statistics show that feminists with multiple partners have a very high chance of divorce and lifetime alimony paid by a man
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This is very good advice and it also goes for children as well. If you want to prevent most of the fussiness of kids, make sure they stay hydrated and give them a healthy snack every couple of hours. If they are of napping age, be consistent with naps. It's not a cure-all for tantrums, but it certainly minimizes them.
This. Just had my first kid. It helps immensely to anticipate when they'll be cranky and be ready to address it right away (by feeding them, soothing them or helping them fall asleep). You also need to be aware of how that overlaps with you being hungry/sleepy and try to address it in the best way. It's so easy to get angry at your kids just because they got cranky at an inconvenient time for you. At the same time, a…
Ok... I'll bite. This feel good article doesn't do justice to relationship issues at all. A lot of relationship issues simply arise from compromises that have been done in past. May be woman is desperate in finding husband and man is realizing he is getting out of options. Both gets married despite knowing incompatibilities here and there. People tell them "opposite attracts". Ummm... no. There is of course honeymoon…
All true and don't forget the sex with other people that everyone secretly wants at all times. Women are ready to "trade up" for another man, men just want to mate with other women. Couples who have only slept with each other don't seem to suffer from this. Couples where one or both had a lot of sex before getting together will suffer and will usually end having affairs.
I'll quote Richard White's answer on Quora to the question "What was the worst thing your parents ever did to you?" > Every day from as early as I can remember, they were clearly and obviously in love with each other. Even after 50 years of marriage they were still acting like two teenagers going steady. They always supported each other in everything they did or tried to do. They "had each other's backs" at all times…
No marriage is perfect. Every couple fights sometimes, if both people are being real with each other, and if they're not, that's a huge problem in itself. (I think everdev is probably right: they didn't let you see them fighting.) The goal is not to never fight; it's to always fight fair . Sounds like your parents didn't show you how to do that — which is too bad, if they themselves knew, because most people don't. I…
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Do you have any links to evidence for this being the case? Honestly curious.
Evidence? Sure, I know many couples. The bit about differences between couples who have only slept with each other is my own theory based on my observations. But it seems this has been studied more rigorously, for example: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1741-3737... But this talks about marital dissolution, not simply affairs. Affairs are happening way more than you think.
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If were happy with anecdata my evidence is the exact opposite. The people who've had few partners get curious and are the ones who end up having affairs, the ones who had dozens and dozens keep on the straight and narrow. But of course that's just people for whom I have the data, very small sample.
There's a big difference between one and "few". There's also a very long tail of partner counts and if you're talking about people who have had dozens of partners those are outliers. The median is somewhere around 5-7 in a lifetime.
There is a huge gaping chasm between the family mentality of the western world and the rest.
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Matchmaking is overrated, and people expect too much out of relationships. My family is from Bangladesh where the marriages, though typically not arranged per se, involve less of a "trying on clothes" aspect than in the U.S. It's not clear to me that marriages are any happier here. (People are of course more likely to get divorced here, but are likely to end up in a second or third marriage that is not particularly h…
I agree but I am not saying dating is the best way. The main thing for monogamous marriage is the matchmaking. When an entire village is involved, and they give you access to a huge pool of men and women ready to marry each other at the same time, that may be BETTER than the average dating strategy. Traditional societies have this all over the planet!
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Somewhat raw but at the end of the day I'd say mostly true. I'll add my own conjecture: the root problem is that this hypothetical couple you describe (who is more common than many would like to admit) are both settling. They are settling because they didn't take marriage seriously earlier in their lives. They didn't take marriage seriously because society stopped forcing them to do so. And nature also didn't force t…
Do you imply that the only way of having a meaningful life when your job is mediocre is by creating a family? What about other recreational activities or hobbies? Somewhat anecdotally, I recall a grade school teacher that was single in her 50s but remained active within a large volunteer community supporting youth. She often discussed how her participation in this circle gave her life purpose. Maybe the systemic issu…
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Do you imply that the only way of having a meaningful life when your job is mediocre is by creating a family? What about other recreational activities or hobbies? Somewhat anecdotally, I recall a grade school teacher that was single in her 50s but remained active within a large volunteer community supporting youth. She often discussed how her participation in this circle gave her life purpose. Maybe the systemic issu…
If I divide my adult life up into my relationships, my observations.... Phase 1 - 20s. Graduated from college, moved from my small city to a larger metro area, went through some physical issues while at the same time trying to establish my career. It was a lonely time. I had one or two female friends who I would hang out with occasionally but they were both in the “friend zone” (one by mutual choice and one no shared…
Yes but the essence of a relationship is how problems get solved. You are avoiding the problems! That's cheating, but if you got the cash, all power to you!, just hope you guys don't disagree at some point, because cash doesn't solve EVERYTHING :)
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the only thing that is certain in life is the grave, all else is vanity (Ecclesiastes AMP).
It's interesting how hostile most people are to this idea.