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The Overprotected American Child

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Re: The Overprotected American Child

#101

Post by tscs37 »

dvdhnt wrote: post #97
tscs37 wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>You can always tell when someone grew up like this. They are always afraid of doing anything that might even remotely be considered outside the box. They lack that ability and drive to find things out for themselves, and instead rely on others for help and guidance to a fault. I would be careful there it can happen by other means too. I suffer from a fair bit of anxiety, so I show similar symptoms for different reas…

I was overly coddled and eventually got past it. However, like you mentioned, I have anxiety and it causes similar obstacles. I’m interested to hear what you think helps?

Outside of proper therapy probably not much and I've never gotten around to do that. In my case it helps to make sure that I always have something to work on alone via issues on JIRA or other collaboration tools.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#102

Post by lstamour »

ivm wrote: post #75
empath75 wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

she left a 12 year old in charge of a three year old at the mall which is a much different situation.

11-13 year old me was regularly walking with my 1-3 year old brother alone. It was in Russia, in the 90s.

Same here in Canada, though I wonder if part of the reason older siblings are trusted with younger ones is that parents are less worried the second or third time around—if they’re more trusting that “the kids will be alright,” by then.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#103

Post by watwut »

aianus wrote: post #88
watwut wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is hard to say, since we diagnose more then before. Anecdotally, some say that yes there is such rise. Then again, teenagers are now less violent then before, commit less serious crime, get pregnant less often and take drugs less. It is hard to weight those against each other.

> get pregnant less often But are they getting pregnant less often per instance of intercourse? There were a lot of articles lately that teenagers and young adults are having less sex now than ever before which IMHO would be a failure rather than a success of overparenting.

1.) It is both less sex and more protection.

2.) Statistically, kids who are well informed about sex and have factual information tend to both start later and use protection. So no, later sex is not failure of parenting. It is result of kids making rational well informed choices. (Meaning them skipping sex with partner they don't trust, them being less likely to be manipulated or shamed into it, less likely do it just to acquired social status or for fear they will look gay.)

3.) There is nothing inherently good about soon sex. Self control is good thing and will be correlated with later sex (cause you skip some chances by choice). The idea that there is something wrong with you if you are not having sex at 17 is ridiculous anyway.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#104

Post by lovich »

HarryHirsch wrote: post #67
taeric wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you? Or do you just have good selection bias? Or do you just like not liking people? Reality is most people rely on others for help. And there isn't a damned thing wrong with that. Indeed, the implication of the problem there is that it is not right to help and guide others. How is that ok? Would it be great if we were all more self sufficient? I think so, but I don't have anything to back that belief. Especially…

Reality is most people rely on others for help. Reality nowadays when a piece of lab equipment breaks down is that the kids call tech support, i.e. The Professor. You wish they'd consult documentation or their own brain, more experienced students in the lab, the tech support number on the business card that's stuck to the instrument &c p.p., but instead they immediately kick the matter upstairs instead of consulting…

I'd think that's more a cause of the blame that's put on people for going outside of their given rules. I'm sure if the student attempted to fix that machine and even if they didn't break it more, they'd be in a world of shit. You can't simultaneously expect people to be self sufficient and then punish them heavily if they try to be and anything goes wrong.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#105

Post by astura »

ghaff wrote: post #28
wallace_f wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I don't think anyone is arguing for more dangerous products or safety precautions for toddlers. Maybe some people think that way. Colloquially, I've heard about a million times Europeans laugh at how ridiculous they think some laws are in that regard, such as Kinder eggs being banned in America.

As with many things, there's probably a lot of focus on edge cases about which reasonable people can disagree. Bucky balls were another recent case. And then there's the sheaf of safety warnings that come with every product and no one ever reads. But, mostly, getting rid of small parts in toddler toys, avoiding sharp edges, baby monitors, etc. are probably significant net positives for safety without a whole lot of d…

The ban on bucky balls was overturned in court.

https://www.popsci.com/buckyballs-are-back-on-market

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#106

Post by 5DFractalTetris »

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #94
civilitty wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not the eggs that are banned, the FDA bans the practice of putting inedible objects fully encased in edible things in general. I loved me my Kinder Surprise when I was a kid but I don't think that's an unreasonable restriction when it comes to products marketed towards children (I don't know if it applies across the board or only to things marketed at children). Kinder has introduced an American version now wher…

How do tiered cakes work in USA? Wedding cakes, for example, in UK often have hidden 'pillars' inside the lower tiers to provide structural strength. Perhaps there's a size limit on embedded non-edible components.

I could tell you but it'd void your cake's warranty.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#107

Post by bayonetz »

The proliferation of these overprotective practices reminds me of the proliferation of simpler practices we impose on kids like showering regularly and wearing clean clothes that we just take for granted now. The link in my mind is how you can pick most any practice that is common amongst a majority of the population today and look back 50, 200, sometimes 2000 years and you can trace it back to a minority aristocratic or ruling class. You know, like medieval kings taking regular private hot baths but this not becoming feasible for the rest of Europe until the last century.

Another commenter made an observation along the lines of you see overprotected children nevertheless succeeding (or failing up, depending on your perspective) professionally as adults. That would make sense if what we are doing is slowly handing down practices from the higher classes to lower. The failing up phenomenon is clearly highly correlated with the privilege you were born into. As everyone becomes relatively more privileged, then practices would radiate out and be institutionalized amongst more of the population, i.e., everyone would start overprotecting because as long as your kid makes it, worse case, they will be able to succeed via the fail up method.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#109

Post by HarryHirsch »

lovich wrote: post #104
HarryHirsch wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Reality is most people rely on others for help. Reality nowadays when a piece of lab equipment breaks down is that the kids call tech support, i.e. The Professor. You wish they'd consult documentation or their own brain, more experienced students in the lab, the tech support number on the business card that's stuck to the instrument &c p.p., but instead they immediately kick the matter upstairs instead of consulting…

I'd think that's more a cause of the blame that's put on people for going outside of their given rules. I'm sure if the student attempted to fix that machine and even if they didn't break it more, they'd be in a world of shit. You can't simultaneously expect people to be self sufficient and then punish them heavily if they try to be and anything goes wrong.

In the physical sciences you are simply expected to troubleshoot and perform basic maintenance on lab equipment. No, I wouldn't know where the helplessness amongst today's undergraduates comes from. Is it an unquestioning adherence to "the rules" that was beaten into them in school, or is it a desire to deflect potential liability? No idea!

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#110

Post by 5DFractalTetris »

bayonetz wrote: post #107

The proliferation of these overprotective practices reminds me of the proliferation of simpler practices we impose on kids like showering regularly and wearing clean clothes that we just take for granted now. The link in my mind is how you can pick most any practice that is common amongst a majority of the population today and look back 50, 200, sometimes 2000 years and you can trace it back to a minority aristocrati…

It used to be said that certain kings or personages were made of glass and that if you touched them, they would shatter and the kingdom would fall. Much like a regular private hot bath, I fail to see the value of a Glass King.

Once I visited the UK and some kids threw lit firecrackers into my scarf. Then all the adults kept drinking. I assume America is currently behind the times, Europe having since updated the myth to Atomic Motorcycle Danger King.

This failure has something to do with Americans having enjoyed Downton Abbey more than Mad Max: Fury Road. My investigation continues.

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