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The Overprotected American Child

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Re: The Overprotected American Child

#91

Post by tscs37 »

aphextron wrote: post #25

You can always tell when someone grew up like this. They are always afraid of doing anything that might even remotely be considered outside the box. They lack that ability and drive to find things out for themselves, and instead rely on others for help and guidance to a fault. Professional occupations are full of these people who were coddled from birth, through college, and straight into a high paying job with zero…

>You can always tell when someone grew up like this. They are always afraid of doing anything that might even remotely be considered outside the box. They lack that ability and drive to find things out for themselves, and instead rely on others for help and guidance to a fault.

I would be careful there it can happen by other means too. I suffer from a fair bit of anxiety, so I show similar symptoms for different reasons; instead of not knowing how to act outside the box or being unable to not rely on others, I'm merely afraid of doing those things, although capable of them.

I think if you want to separate the two cases the easiest way is to give them alone time and a high level task to fulfill that requires initiative to solve. Those who have grown up overprotected will continue to seek guidance while those who are simply afraid of social missteps will be happily on their way the moment they are alone with a clear goal.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#92

Post by krupan »

JackCh wrote: post #29
Pinckney wrote: post #11

As a counterpoint, Canada (and presumably the US too) has seen a dramatic decrease in unintentional injury mortality among children over the last 70 years. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28026710

Has there been any change in the rate of depression or other mental disorders in minors, and if so, is loss of autonomy one of the factors in this?

Teen suicide rates are up, for what it's worth.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#93

Post by wirrbel »

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #85
matte_black wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If a 12 year old child can’t take care of a three year old they have failed as a 12 year old.

I'd imagine most 12 yo without experience of 3 yo children wouldn't have much of a clue. Many adults, even those of grandparent age (who've had kids) seem clueless as to the abilities of pre-schoolers and hence the ability of them to get in trouble. They might be able to stop the infant from killing themselves, it depends a lot on the 3 yo. In our case the eldest is over-protective mostly, except when bored or distra…

A 12 year old with a 3 yo sibling will have 3 years of experience with that sibling and know how to care for them. Of course, if the 12 yo has not been raised to be a responsible person, there is a risk. But roughly for millenia, older siblings have cared for their younger siblings while the adults were working / busy. It is a relatively recent development that we don't trust kids anymore.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#94

Post by pbhjpbhj »

civilitty wrote: post #31
wallace_f wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I don't think anyone is arguing for more dangerous products or safety precautions for toddlers. Maybe some people think that way. Colloquially, I've heard about a million times Europeans laugh at how ridiculous they think some laws are in that regard, such as Kinder eggs being banned in America.

It's not the eggs that are banned, the FDA bans the practice of putting inedible objects fully encased in edible things in general. I loved me my Kinder Surprise when I was a kid but I don't think that's an unreasonable restriction when it comes to products marketed towards children (I don't know if it applies across the board or only to things marketed at children). Kinder has introduced an American version now wher…

How do tiered cakes work in USA? Wedding cakes, for example, in UK often have hidden 'pillars' inside the lower tiers to provide structural strength.

Perhaps there's a size limit on embedded non-edible components.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#95

Post by DoreenMichele »

aianus wrote: post #88
watwut wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is hard to say, since we diagnose more then before. Anecdotally, some say that yes there is such rise. Then again, teenagers are now less violent then before, commit less serious crime, get pregnant less often and take drugs less. It is hard to weight those against each other.

> get pregnant less often But are they getting pregnant less often per instance of intercourse? There were a lot of articles lately that teenagers and young adults are having less sex now than ever before which IMHO would be a failure rather than a success of overparenting.

Why on earth would you presume it's a failure?

I knew a guy some years older than me who had been a bonafide hippie. He told me "TV cut off at 9pm. Not really anything to do after that but sex and drugs."

With the internet providing 24/7 entertainment, that particular issue -- "I'm bored. I think I shall get high and/or laid." -- is mostly a solved problem.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#96

Post by throwaway413 »

tscs37 wrote: post #91
aphextron wrote: post #25

You can always tell when someone grew up like this. They are always afraid of doing anything that might even remotely be considered outside the box. They lack that ability and drive to find things out for themselves, and instead rely on others for help and guidance to a fault. Professional occupations are full of these people who were coddled from birth, through college, and straight into a high paying job with zero…

>You can always tell when someone grew up like this. They are always afraid of doing anything that might even remotely be considered outside the box. They lack that ability and drive to find things out for themselves, and instead rely on others for help and guidance to a fault. I would be careful there it can happen by other means too. I suffer from a fair bit of anxiety, so I show similar symptoms for different reas…

I was with you until the “alone with a clear goal” part.

What if you are left alone with an unclear goal?

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#97

Post by dvdhnt »

tscs37 wrote: post #91
aphextron wrote: post #25

You can always tell when someone grew up like this. They are always afraid of doing anything that might even remotely be considered outside the box. They lack that ability and drive to find things out for themselves, and instead rely on others for help and guidance to a fault. Professional occupations are full of these people who were coddled from birth, through college, and straight into a high paying job with zero…

>You can always tell when someone grew up like this. They are always afraid of doing anything that might even remotely be considered outside the box. They lack that ability and drive to find things out for themselves, and instead rely on others for help and guidance to a fault. I would be careful there it can happen by other means too. I suffer from a fair bit of anxiety, so I show similar symptoms for different reas…

I was overly coddled and eventually got past it. However, like you mentioned, I have anxiety and it causes similar obstacles.

I’m interested to hear what you think helps?

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#98

Post by ThomPete »

When I first moved my family (from Denmark originally) to New York we had to put our oldest son in a daycare.

We have always been fairly "free range" i.e. our kids have had their share of bruises from climbing and in general being allowed to do challenging things.

After a week at the daycare my wife went to pick my son up, one of the teachers pulled her aside and told her that they, unfortunately, had to report some of the bruises on his arm or shoulder (can't remember) and that they hadn't said anything about the bruises on his legs.

My wife and I freaked out worried that the social services would come and take him away.

Of course, we soon learned that it wasn't actually the bruises on our son they were worried about but whether we would report them for mistreating our son.

The primary problem in the US is the liability issue which certainly doesn't help.

People in general though are really weirdly paranoid about their kids. I always thought it would be counterproductive for them later in life. Better to fall when you are a little boy than when you are older.

Anyway who knows.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#99

Post by osdiab »

I wonder how much the built environment impacts the independence we can give our children. For instance, regarding the milestone of safely crossing the road that this article mentions, does the common milestone age decrease in more pedestrian-friendly places? It's one thing to cross a one-lane, slow-traffic narrow street in Europe versus a wide, high-speed one characteristic of most American suburbs.

Re: The Overprotected American Child

#100

Post by tscs37 »

throwaway413 wrote: post #96
tscs37 wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>You can always tell when someone grew up like this. They are always afraid of doing anything that might even remotely be considered outside the box. They lack that ability and drive to find things out for themselves, and instead rely on others for help and guidance to a fault. I would be careful there it can happen by other means too. I suffer from a fair bit of anxiety, so I show similar symptoms for different reas…

I was with you until the “alone with a clear goal” part. What if you are left alone with an unclear goal?

Anxiety might kick in that I'm not sufficiently working towards the goal or solving the problem correctly.
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