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Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

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Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#271

Post by blablabla123 »

virgil_disgr4ce wrote: post #257
noir_lord wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I heard the horror stories about online dating however my experience as a man was nothing but positive. I got responses maybe half the time and a date (coffee, nothing involving alcohol) maybe a third - I probably messaged 15 women over a year. Two proper relationships and one that is two years old in July and I plan to spend the rest of my life in. I did not use the shotgun approach, I excluded any woman who didn't…

OK, so... since no one else has asked... are you really hot?

I realize the targeted approach also works much better for me than the shotgun approach. (Should this be surprising? ;) Speaking of myself, I'm not hot, barely average lol.

So I signed up at OKC before and deleted my account at some point frustrated. Actually I even had 2 dates through it - after tons of right swiping and writing so many messages that I had to delete ones from my Sent folder.

When I recently signed up again, at first it didn't really work out again. I swiped right when I thought the person looks good.

So I changed my approach: I swipe right when I imagine I would feel at least kind of comfortable meeting that person. And tadah, I have far more matches. Also I recommend stopping to write a person immediately when there is obviously no interest, that just brings frustration which doesn't improve the writing in turn. So I think 3 women were then willing to date me, although somehow it didn't happen because of difficulties finding a proper date/time. (Yup that also changed, I prioritize realworld higher than online ;) - doesn't really help with dating but maybe better for general happiness)

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#272

Post by camel_Snake »

dhimes wrote: post #163
pizza234 wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What I’ve long wondered is how women react in the real world now that they have all the power on dating apps Women always had that specific kind of power in real world. When/if you go to a party, observe the people who are alone, standing against a wall; they're invariably men, without absolutely no exception. This says everything about power. Having said that, bear in mind that this kind of power is only a (arguab…

It took me half a lifetime to realize this, but you are correct. It's the man's job to try, and it's the woman's job to choose. It's honestly changed the way I think about relationships.

> It's the man's job to try, and it's the woman's job to choose.

IMO this is very close, but missing an important point. It's a man's job to escalate, it's a woman's job to choose.

Women definitely try. They put a lot of effort into how they are perceived (looks, mannerisms, etc.) and giving us subtextual clues that they are interested.

All we have to do is be a little vulnerable and ask them out on a date, go for that first kiss, get down on one knee and so on.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#273

Post by forgottenpass »

misterbowfinger wrote: post #254

Oh my lord, these comments are really surfacing the number of incels and MRA's on hacker news. Wow. When I hear criticisms of the tech community being so bro-y and full of insecure dudes, I tend to rebuff them because I don't personally see it as much. But man, that behavior is coming out in full force on this post.

How lackadaisical has stereotyping gotten that that there is any overlap between the sets {incels, MRAs} and {bros}?

Aren't they mutually exclusive by definition? Or does "bro" now mean "any men I don't like"?

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#274

Post by throwaway_234 »

chrischen wrote: post #101
legionof7 wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I honestly feel that IRL, height is less important than a lot of people think. I'm a 5'5 man.

It is ultimately superficial once someone knows more about you, but that doesn't stop people from setting it as their pre-filter before they see what they truly want. You ask people to improve the carriage, they'll tell you to make a faster horse. If you ask a woman what they want, they'll tell you tall dark and handsome.

Yeah they all want the guy who has a lot to choose from and who can treat them like crap. Hopping from one chick to another and those chicks complain about being treated like crap yet stick with it because of reproduction. I’ll take that guy many girls want who has no job over the one not many want even if they are semi-successful.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#275

Post by skookumchuck »

badpun wrote: post #114
skookumchuck wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds like you should dress and pose like a model.

Yes, because models are attractive because of their clothes and the poses they take.

Models go to great effort to select the clothes, the photographer, the pose, etc., because it works.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#276

Post by noir_lord »

virgil_disgr4ce wrote: post #257
noir_lord wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I heard the horror stories about online dating however my experience as a man was nothing but positive. I got responses maybe half the time and a date (coffee, nothing involving alcohol) maybe a third - I probably messaged 15 women over a year. Two proper relationships and one that is two years old in July and I plan to spend the rest of my life in. I did not use the shotgun approach, I excluded any woman who didn't…

OK, so... since no one else has asked... are you really hot?

Fuck no, I was a solid 5 all my 20's

I gather been in good shape in your late 30's gets you a few bonus points.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#277

Post by sli »

laurieg wrote: post #2

It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was. Almost every person would match with me. Everyone would message me straight away. If I didn't reply most would message again in a few hours. A few would get very angry/upset that I didn't r…

> It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was.

It sounds like I'm joking, but if you're a moderately attractive male in a smaller city, a Grindr account will give you a very similar experience. Within an hour I had quite a surprising number of, let's say, risque images sent to me.

Nowhere near the same number of weird or inappropriate messages, though. Some of them were pretty blunt, but nothing I didn't mostly expect, and nothing like the awful things I sometimes see being said to women on the internet.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#278

Post by mrguyorama »

swyx wrote: post #58
laurieg wrote: post #2

It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was. Almost every person would match with me. Everyone would message me straight away. If I didn't reply most would message again in a few hours. A few would get very angry/upset that I didn't r…

threads like these make me despair about ever dating ever again. as a society we should be concerned about what tinder and bumble are doing to us, but -no one- has the power to stop it because it appeals to such base instincts.

As a single guy who has little interaction with women, it terrifies me. It's pretty much the only way I'll ever meet someone, but it doesn't fucking work for me.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#279

Post by watwut »

grrmx1 wrote: post #264
aphextron wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of what we think of as “marriage” comes from the entirety of human history where women were bought and sold as bargaining chips in their male family member’s lives. They were used to ensure inheritance, line of succession, and to cement business relationships. Not until just the past couple centuries in western society has there even been a concept of marrying for romantic love.

Behavior you describe is traditionally attributed to the upper classes of pre-modern nobility. At least that's how popular imagination paints it (see Game of Thrones). I am not so sure this was modus operandi for commoners when it came to marriage. Caste-bound poor village dwellers, with few prospects and no family wealth to maintain, I imagine married for love more often than not.

Poor village workers had to work physically and strength mattered a lot. Also, you paid taxes per household making it very hard for single women to make it. E.g. girl has to marry cause living without man is super hard.

You dated two weeks at 15 and then announced marriage and then it was for live.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#280

Post by watwut »

paulddraper wrote: post #241
dhimes wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Could that just be an observational effect? That it's maybe been historically easier for mentally ill women to hide at home, and for genius women to not be discovered? I realize I'm asking a question we can't answer at the moment, but I bring it up because we've "recently" (I'm old) learned that girls can struggle in school just like boys, but their problems go undetected because they behave in class and teachers are…

Doubtful. It's pretty well established that alcoholism, autism, psychopathy, and to some extent downs syndrome predominantly affect men. (And counterexample: depression is twice as common among women.)

Alcoholism rates change over time. And the gap between men and women was getting smaller.
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