A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates • Hacker News Board

Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates

#41

Post by ci5er » Wed, Apr 18, 2018, 3:57 AM UTC

jeffreyrogers wrote: post #3

jessriedel wrote: post #2

This is consistent with my college experience but maximally inconsistent with post-college: because of online dating, many people can and do go on more coffee-only first-dates than previous generations ever did. Maybe that means they are being psychologically warped by perceived disposability, but they certainly aren't lacking in practice talking with strangers.

I'm not sure if it's in the article or not, but the professor requires her students to ask people out in person. In my experience, both from dating and from talking to male and female friends, this is significantly less common now than in the past. And I've noticed that on planes and while waiting in lines people talk with strangers less than when I was a kid.

Not my mom. She talks to everyone anyway. Sometimes she even pinches their cheeks and hugs them. Crazy old bat.

Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates

#42

Post by selestify » Wed, Apr 18, 2018, 6:50 AM UTC

pmoriarty wrote: post #40

DoreenMichele wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For starters, you can stop being judgey. You have described me as giving up and isolating myself. I haven't said any such thing. For another, genuine empathy for a person's experiences is a good place to start. My youngest son used to have the obnoxious habit of only ever saying "I love you" as a rebuttal when I was whining that "No one loves me!" until I finally handed him his head over what rotten behavior that was…

"You have described me as giving up and isolating myself. I haven't said any such thing." You're absolutely right. I saw you say "Love isn't real" and "Trying has taught me the exact same thing the GP has learned: People only ever take advantage of me. That's it," and assumed that because of that you had given up. I shouldn't have made that assumption, and I apologize for that. I'll also try to ask myself if I'm in a…

I just want to say, as a bystander, thanks for offering your perspective on this. It's reassuring that someone else feels the same way I do.

As you say, that makes at least four of us who aren't looking for someone with money. And I get that a lot of the world is like that. Not that I'm judging the rest of the world, you do you, whoever you are. It just gets frustrating for me personally sometimes when it feels like I'm the only one in my circle of friends who feels this way about dating.

So thanks again. I would like to discuss this further with you, if you're up for it.

Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates

#43

Post by PGenes » Fri, Apr 20, 2018, 6:01 AM UTC

DoreenMichele wrote: post #24

Historically, women basically aimed to marry well. Men had careers. Women had husband's to provide for them. A lot of those relationships weren't terribly emotionally intimate. I married my best friend. But a lot of marriages were never like that. Now, women want careers. Juggling two careers is hard. Fewer women want children. If you are both going to work and support yourself, then the primary thing you want from a…

Is it really true that the primary thing we want from a relationship is sex? Yes we want sex but what about companionship, a fellow traveller, someone to love and be loved by? These maybe harder to achieve but I think these are things people are 'primarily' looking for in relationships. Cheap sex isn't that hard to find, and for most men at least, sex alone is not enough to justify the effort involved in a relationship. I suspect the same applies with at least equal force to women.