A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
washingtonpost.com
A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
1–10 of 43 posts
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#2This is consistent with my college experience but maximally inconsistent with post-college: because of online dating, many people can and do go on more coffee-only first-dates than previous generations ever did. Maybe that means they are being psychologically warped by perceived disposability, but they certainly aren't lacking in practice talking with strangers.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#3This is consistent with my college experience but maximally inconsistent with post-college: because of online dating, many people can and do go on more coffee-only first-dates than previous generations ever did. Maybe that means they are being psychologically warped by perceived disposability, but they certainly aren't lacking in practice talking with strangers.
I'm not sure if it's in the article or not, but the professor requires her students to ask people out in person. In my experience, both from dating and from talking to male and female friends, this is significantly less common now than in the past. And I've noticed that on planes and while waiting in lines people talk with strangers less than when I was a kid.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#4This is consistent with my college experience but maximally inconsistent with post-college: because of online dating, many people can and do go on more coffee-only first-dates than previous generations ever did. Maybe that means they are being psychologically warped by perceived disposability, but they certainly aren't lacking in practice talking with strangers.
I agree with your post-college assessment, but I think the skill that's lacking practice is the ability to approach and meet new people. Phones, texting as the dominant form of communication, and swipe apps seem to have made that interaction more socially unacceptable / reduced the urgency for it.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#5Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid.
Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#6Another way to measure people by attractiveness or agreeableness or some other attribute that doesn't matter for engineering. The goal is likely to give a certain demographic good grades, like almost all of K-12.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#7Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid. Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
All that "bullshit" she puts you through is probably her way of trying to figure out if you're someone she could have a relationship with or just another dickhead trying to get laid.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#8One of the things I didn’t appreciate until leaving college was how much the world narrows. In college you’re surrounded by people at similar life stages who are more open to new experiences and to meeting new people (or at least more so than after). It’s a lot more difficult to form new friendships after college and that seems especially true now that phones and other entertainment occupy downtime attention. Texting has emerged as the dominant form of communication and it’s easier than ever to flake on plans since all you need to do is send a text. People seem to be increasingly isolated, lonely, and unhappy.
And this is all very new having only really emerged around 2009 - 2010 or so.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#9Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid. Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
Perhaps what she is suggesting is the exact opposite of what you're describing: trying to actually, intentionally speak to another person without it being the prelude to something (sex, social media post about "Look at the fun we're having", etc). When we see each other as inputs to a transaction, something has been lost. There should be joy from interpersonal contact.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#10Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid. Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
No, the article is quite explicit about there being a significant population who are getting laid but have never ever been on a first date with a (relative) stranger before that. "hookup culture has become so dominant on college campuses"; what you said used to be true but now is not. It's plausible that some couple might start with a hookup and get laid, and only later start going on dates as they form a serious relationship.