For those who TLDR .... this is for dates with each other, not her
A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
11–20 of 43 posts
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#12Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid. Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
Perhaps what she is suggesting is the exact opposite of what you're describing: trying to actually, intentionally speak to another person without it being the prelude to something (sex, social media post about "Look at the fun we're having", etc). When we see each other as inputs to a transaction, something has been lost. There should be joy from interpersonal contact.
Yeah but if it's not a setup for something more (a relationship or whatever) then I wouldn't call it a date.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#13I was expecting a metoo story. It was a refreshing read.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#14This is consistent with my college experience but maximally inconsistent with post-college: because of online dating, many people can and do go on more coffee-only first-dates than previous generations ever did. Maybe that means they are being psychologically warped by perceived disposability, but they certainly aren't lacking in practice talking with strangers.
I'm not sure if it's in the article or not, but the professor requires her students to ask people out in person. In my experience, both from dating and from talking to male and female friends, this is significantly less common now than in the past. And I've noticed that on planes and while waiting in lines people talk with strangers less than when I was a kid.
Agreed, though this is not necessarily bad. Ideally, dating apps let us crudely filter for some of the things we're looking for, so that the relative value of interacting with the random people with whom we are physically nearby goes down.
Also, after getting lots of experience with dating using apps, asking people on a first date in meatspace gets much easier (even if there is no exactly analagous sitaution in online dating).
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#15Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid. Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
All that "bullshit" she puts you through is probably her way of trying to figure out if you're someone she could have a relationship with or just another dickhead trying to get laid.
> or just another dickhead trying to get laid.
Or just somebody who's really good at lying about it.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#16Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid. Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
All that "bullshit" she puts you through is probably her way of trying to figure out if you're someone she could have a relationship with or just another dickhead trying to get laid.
Some guys end up putting their everything (money, reputation, efforts and huge time) and still don't get anything meaningful out of it.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#17Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid. Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
All that "bullshit" she puts you through is probably her way of trying to figure out if you're someone she could have a relationship with or just another dickhead trying to get laid.
Why does trying to get laid make one a dickhead? This is slut-shaming.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#18Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid. Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
It’s vastly different in Western countries. I’ve hooked up with girls from Tinder and have brought girls from parties or bars, but have never been on a date. Most people I (a 22 year old) know are the same way.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#19Flexing these types of social muscles can be an amazing experience. One of my biggest confidence boosters came from asking out a woman whom I'd just met, and then getting turned down.
We were at a pet store, and happened to chat briefly about our dogs. I asked if she'd like to grab coffee, and she said she had a boyfriend. We chatted a bit more about our dogs, and went our separate ways.
It was amazing to see that this type of experience doesn't need to be scary, and can feel extremely normal. I don't know many others who have experienced either side of that type of interaction, so it's encouraging to see this professor is encouraging it in her students.
Re: A college professor gives her students extra credit for going on dates
#20Maybe because of age (I'm 35) or culture (I'm in Asian country), but I don't get it. To get laid, you need to go through the process of dating: Ask her out, lots of "bullshit" (a matter on perspective), spend time and money, and if you're lucky, you'll get laid. Maybe what she meant is "in serious relationship"?
The point of the dating described in the article wasn't for the students to get laid, or to spend a lot of time or money. The point was to get them to show some backbone by asking someone out in person, spend maybe $10 on the date, and to have it last perhaps 90 minutes.
She was making the point that in current US culture, among college-age people, it's more common to ask someone out impersonally (e.g. via text message, Tinder, etc), and for the purpose of the "date" to be sex. It's less effort to do that than to make a real connection with someone else.