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The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

nautil.us

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Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#121

Post by mathgladiator »

alexpetralia wrote: post #61
mathgladiator wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I look as environment (and privilege) as an equivalency group. If all other factors are the same, then evaluate this as advice with that cohort. You can be trained to be lucky, and it is a simple problem of exposing yourself to more and more. Try more things, spend more time, be open to new ideas.

I would love to hear more about this if you have more thoughts. I was thinking "skill" is best measured relative to a benchmark cohort (ie. a control group). In other words, _given_ your education, upbringing, connections, etc., where did you end up relative to the average person in your cohort? I'd like to think _that_ difference could be explained by skill. But this falls short for many reasons, including: 1. You c…

That's basically it; control for economic situation, race, etc and then evaluate advice and tips based on that.

1. Statistical anomaly is interesting, and it is where I spend time reflecting on advice I give people that I mentor. Is given advice wise? or just bragging? or just flat out bad.

For the article, I think it is good advice. Open minds see more possibilities and can see more things to try. However, you need resources to try multiple things.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#122

Post by galdosdi »

ahussain wrote: post #68
Ntrails wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

One of the incredible things about the time I spent living in India is that in Indian society there were far more excuses to talk to people. For example, to ask for directions (Google maps often not great), or to ask if a restaurant is any good (online reviews often sparse). As a result people are much more likely to talk to each other in regular day-to-day life, and are much more equipped to handle conversations wit…

FWIW I find that NYC culture is like this too, at least relative to the USA's interior.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#123

Post by throwPass123 »

I agree with the author. The way I see it is that life throws opportunities in a lottery: You may have 1 ticket out of thousands and still win it. There is undoubtedly a luck factor yet, the harder you work the more tickets you will get. So the question is do you want to play a lottery owning 1 ticket out of 100 or 90 out of 100?

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#125

Post by hokus »

taysix wrote: post #115
hokus wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I take it as a design question. Do we want a society designed for people who like to interact or do we want to design it after the desire for limiting interaction as much as possible? One time, on a crowded train, an elderly lady just started talking about her visit to her lovely grandchildren and what they had been up to since her last visit. It wasn't a short story and to her it was the most fascinating experience…

That was a lovely story. It really resonated with me. Thanks for sharing!

I one time walked into a bar and took the seat on the other side of the corner from the only guy sitting there.

I told him about my day. He looked angry at me with very large eyes and a big frown. I just continued my story as if nothing happened. He kept the face on for the first 2 minutes of it. I order a beer and one for my friend here. The added rage in his facial expression was hilarious. I continued talking about my day while drinking the beer. He looked at the glass for a few seconds and decided to drink from it.

The new facial expression was tired but slightly impressed by the way I continued to talk to him completely undisturbed.

Eventually, after 3 beers, the story about my day came to visiting a bar with only one other guest who apparently went to a public place expecting not to be talked to.

He laughed really hard. I said, hey, you got to work with what you have.

He then told the story of the very shitty day he was having. I forgot the details but it was truly a shit day.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#126

Post by RangerScience »

jehlakj wrote: post #112
RangerScience wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, don't skip it, particularly in random situations. If someone isn't making _actual_ eye contact with you, they're not open to being talked to. Simple as that. If you're good enough at reading body language and talking to random people that this advice doesn't seem true.... this is probably not advice that you need. If you're like me and couldn't figure out how to determine this through other means - or are rather…

Well, it's pretty obvious when you shouldn't approach. For example, they may be walking quickly possibly deeply preoccupied with something. Basically if you have to step out of your way to introduce yourself, it's probably not the best time. But in certain situations like waiting in line at starbucks, people nearby don't usually make eye contact. It's a bit too close and uncomfortable to even begin making eye contact…

This is totally reasonable. I feel like "Step One: Eye Contact" was a very, very good starting point on a journey for me.

You may find adhering to it confidence-building in situ long enough to develop more personalized (to you) skills.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#127

Post by bornonline1 »

empath75 wrote: post #105
pm90 wrote: post #16

This is actually a very interesting article. And with the risk of attracting the wrath on internet haters, let me propose something that personally helped me a lot and which seems like a very narrow application of the principles described in the article: meeting romantic partners. I tend to be more open in talking to strangers and that has opened up worlds of opportunities to me. But the biggest benefit has certainly…

I’m extremely introverted, but spent a few months backpacking which really forced me out of my comfort zone. I met my wife at a hostel on that trip and we have two kids together. I’d never had ordinarily talked to her, but I was lonely and we were the only Americans there. I don’t think we’ve been apart for more than a few days since we both got back to the US.

That's why i refuse introvert or extrovert titles. I can be different in varied situations.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#128

Post by toxik »

nate wrote: post #92

This has been a tough year over here with a lot of un-fun life events. So this morning when trying to get out for a run I was looking for this one and only long sleeve workout shirt I have. And I couldn't find it. It's trivial, I know, but I started blowing up. Emptying out drawers, rummaging through the entire closet. I can't take yet another thing not working right. Where the f*&^% is this shirt!? But I took a few…

Ah if it isn’t my friend the anecdata. Blowing a fuse over trivialities probably means you’re stressed out. I sure am. It’s just modern tech society.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#129

Post by sjapkee »

hokus wrote: post #55
gradys wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess it depends on what version of the social contact you think we're all operating with. I'd say the quite minor inconvenience of someone ahead of you in line trying to start a conversation is part of what you sign up for when you go out in public. That is, as long as the initiator is prepared to take the hint when it's clear you don't want to talk.

I take it as a design question. Do we want a society designed for people who like to interact or do we want to design it after the desire for limiting interaction as much as possible? One time, on a crowded train, an elderly lady just started talking about her visit to her lovely grandchildren and what they had been up to since her last visit. It wasn't a short story and to her it was the most fascinating experience…

>Do we want a society designed for people who like to interact or do we want to design it after the desire for limiting interaction as much as possible?

Second of course. People should interact only if both of them want/need this.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#130

Post by cinquemb »

jschwartzi wrote: post #110
odiroot wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Do we want a society designed for people who like to interact or do we want to design it after the desire for limiting interaction as much as possible? Personally I would prefer the first one. Like most of people in here, I'd risk a guess. On the other hand I don't think it's good to have people like your "elderly lady" just casually imposing themselves on a train full of others. There's a balance in everything.

The point of the story was that she wasn't actually imposing. It's just that the kid she told off was acting like he was representing the other 30 people. The rest of them were probably either indifferent or were entertained by her which is how most people are when you actually talk to them like human beings. Setting the standard that telling people about your day or telling them about yourself is "imposing" is exact…

This is why when I go out in general (I've lived in Boston, NYC and now Jakarta), I've just wore my head phones. I'm a somewhat tall-ish black guy, so people don't usually want to have a random conversation with me, and if they do (or anyone else is particularly loud about something I could care less about) I can choose to ignore or (dis)engage more easily with an acceptable excuse without becoming annoyed.

>Setting the standard that telling people about your day or telling them about yourself is "imposing" is exactly the kind of thinking that's producing our society where nobody ever has a real conversation unless it's via introduction by a third party and an app first.

Does "real conversation" have to happen in any particular medium, or is it the case that some prefer other mediums for "real conversation" over others?

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