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The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

nautil.us

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Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#91

Post by ccozan »

davebryand wrote: post #47
maxpupmax wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think they all seem to have a pretty scientific explanation. Don't we see research on meditation pop up here almost every other week? I guess I'm pretty firmly in the atheist-materialist camp here. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to you to convince you otherwise?

Thanks for asking. Here is a grab bag in rough order of events. (Spent years 1-20 as Catholic, and years 21-39 as an atheist) * Leaving my third "failed" startup, post YC. (For the record, my awesome co-founders sold to Cisco after I had left) * Working with a coach to find and clearly define my deepest values * Leaving San Francisco to align my life with those values * Deciding to search for the meaning of life * Tr…

...and somehow missed the most important thing of the humanity: have some children, raise them as proper humans and pass them your knowledge and wisdom.

All the above points have their share of being somewhat important, and certainly help to live a life as close to reality as possible, but children tops everything out.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#92

Post by nate »

This has been a tough year over here with a lot of un-fun life events. So this morning when trying to get out for a run I was looking for this one and only long sleeve workout shirt I have. And I couldn't find it. It's trivial, I know, but I started blowing up. Emptying out drawers, rummaging through the entire closet. I can't take yet another thing not working right. Where the f*&^% is this shirt!?

But I took a few deep breaths. Opened my eyes and the shirt was literally in front of me hanging in the closet.

It's a tiny example but this research rings very true. Being pissed off at life is a downward spiral where you stop noticing great opportunities to get you out of the spiral.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#93

Post by robocat »

andriesm wrote: post #43
gaurav_v wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Could you give some examples?

Like the other poster mentioned crypto currencies. I've hit many jackpots like this in my life. I have also seen big opportunities that are specific to another person, asked why they don't pursue X or Y, and the responses are quite often non-responses. I literally begged several of my friends to just put $10 into a specific crypto that went up nearly 500 times. I did put about $100 myself into that one, and of course…

> step 2 - pull the trigger FAST - exceptional bargains don't hang around indefinitely.

I find this interesting because I have a friend get bargains that saved him the equivalent to large percentages of his income on deals that were simply unbelievable. He is seemingly average tradesman...

I have been trying to train myself to get better at finding/creating and then jumping on great bargains, to understand his skill and the skills of others.

However there is a lot lot more depth to it than the two sentences you added to the bottom of your comment ;)

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#94

Post by microtherion »

mattmanser wrote: post #41
Ntrails wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

The initial interaction is the point for that, not just never speaking to any one. If they politely or brusquely brush you off, it's harassment if you continue. Not for the initial interaction. There's also loads of non-verbal cues which guide you to who's open to talking to or not. I don't talk to random people much, but I do get asked for directions all the time, even though I'm a 6'2 guy. I think mainly because I'…

> I don't talk to random people much, but I do get asked for directions all the time, even though I'm a 6'2 guy.

Same for me (Even when I'm in a city for the first time). My theory was that there is a primate instinct to look for tall males for leadership — I'm calling it Silverback Syndrome.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#95

Post by davebryand »

ccozan wrote: post #91
davebryand wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for asking. Here is a grab bag in rough order of events. (Spent years 1-20 as Catholic, and years 21-39 as an atheist) * Leaving my third "failed" startup, post YC. (For the record, my awesome co-founders sold to Cisco after I had left) * Working with a coach to find and clearly define my deepest values * Leaving San Francisco to align my life with those values * Deciding to search for the meaning of life * Tr…

...and somehow missed the most important thing of the humanity: have some children, raise them as proper humans and pass them your knowledge and wisdom. All the above points have their share of being somewhat important, and certainly help to live a life as close to reality as possible, but children tops everything out.

This is a great point. I started that list with leaving SF, but you're absolutely right that having kids is truly what started turning my ship in a whole different direction.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#96

Post by throwaway2041 »

pm90 wrote: post #16

This is actually a very interesting article. And with the risk of attracting the wrath on internet haters, let me propose something that personally helped me a lot and which seems like a very narrow application of the principles described in the article: meeting romantic partners. I tend to be more open in talking to strangers and that has opened up worlds of opportunities to me. But the biggest benefit has certainly…

Chatting up a stranger is not 'borderline harassment'. Harassment is harassment. There's a correct way to approach someone in a non-threatening manner, and more men should take the time to learn how to respectfully strike up conversation with strangers (in both romantic and non-romantic contexts)

Given the cultural norms around dating require men to initiate the conversation 95%+ of the time, there's a real risk of demonizing men's efforts to initiate conversation. If nobody approaches, then a lot of great connections never get formed.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#97

Post by fcbrooklyn »

microtherion wrote: post #94
mattmanser wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The initial interaction is the point for that, not just never speaking to any one. If they politely or brusquely brush you off, it's harassment if you continue. Not for the initial interaction. There's also loads of non-verbal cues which guide you to who's open to talking to or not. I don't talk to random people much, but I do get asked for directions all the time, even though I'm a 6'2 guy. I think mainly because I'…

> I don't talk to random people much, but I do get asked for directions all the time, even though I'm a 6'2 guy. Same for me (Even when I'm in a city for the first time). My theory was that there is a primate instinct to look for tall males for leadership — I'm calling it Silverback Syndrome .

Weird. I'm a 6 foot tall male, and I also get asked for directions a lot. The most recent absurdity was in Paris Now, I have spent a total of maybe two weeks in Paris in twenty years, I can get by in french, but it must sound like nails on a chalkboard to a native speaker, and I'm pretty obviously american once I open my mouth. Even so, the lady who asked my advice stayed right there while I looked up the address on my phone and attempted (with limited success) to work it out.

I wonder if it really is the height.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#98

Post by Yahivin »

duxup wrote: post #60
gradys wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess it depends on what version of the social contact you think we're all operating with. I'd say the quite minor inconvenience of someone ahead of you in line trying to start a conversation is part of what you sign up for when you go out in public. That is, as long as the initiator is prepared to take the hint when it's clear you don't want to talk.

I've signed that part of the contract. Other people haven't, but if they're irked or just shy, stuff happens. There's no good way to be sure. Maybe we could employ some sort of thing we could all wear if we're ok with a random conversation or something?

> Maybe we could employ some sort of thing we could all wear if we're ok with a random conversation or something?

It's called a smile.

:)

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#99

Post by [deleted] »

pm90 wrote: post #16

This is actually a very interesting article. And with the risk of attracting the wrath on internet haters, let me propose something that personally helped me a lot and which seems like a very narrow application of the principles described in the article: meeting romantic partners. I tend to be more open in talking to strangers and that has opened up worlds of opportunities to me. But the biggest benefit has certainly…

[deleted]

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#100

Post by CM30 »

gnicholas wrote: post #66
Ntrails wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

It's interesting to see this discussion in parallel with the front-page post about being diagnosed with autism as adults [1]. One of the interviewees describes herself as "being born with the social skills of a used teabag"—I wonder how folks like this factor into the calculus about starting discussions with strangers. What might seem totally fine to some could come off as tone-deaf, inappropriate, or even borderline…

I have to admit, the latter part certainly worries me given the witch hunting obsession society seems to have with perceived harassment and creepiness nowadays. I'm definitely a tad fearful than somewhat on the autistic spectrum (or with various other neurological differences) could end up with their life destroyed by a social media mob due to something they couldn't understand.

And I suspect in many cases, that may stop those with those conditions even trying to attempt conversations with others, since they've heard the horror stories and fear their already tough situation could unintentionally end up becoming even tougher.

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