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The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

nautil.us

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Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#61

Post by alexpetralia »

mathgladiator wrote: post #11
frgtpsswrdlame wrote: post #9

I'm skeptical of a definition of luck where you can be trained to be lucky. That's not luck, that's skill. There is no skill to luck by definition. But let's take what we've got here and engage with it: >She came up with a few basic strategies for parents to teach their kids, including being open to new experiences, learning to relax, maintaining social connections, and (yes) talking to strangers. All of these techni…

I look as environment (and privilege) as an equivalency group. If all other factors are the same, then evaluate this as advice with that cohort. You can be trained to be lucky, and it is a simple problem of exposing yourself to more and more. Try more things, spend more time, be open to new ideas.

I would love to hear more about this if you have more thoughts.

I was thinking "skill" is best measured relative to a benchmark cohort (ie. a control group). In other words, _given_ your education, upbringing, connections, etc., where did you end up relative to the average person in your cohort?

I'd like to think _that_ difference could be explained by skill.

But this falls short for many reasons, including:

1. You could simply be a statistical anomaly, and where you ended up reflects nothing about your skill. If you were to "repeat the trial" (or your life), you may end up average or below average.

2. The more narrow your control group (eg. controlling for parents, beliefs, what TV shows you watched, which friends you had), the sample size becomes smaller and smaller, which means it's hard to find a statistically meaningful cohort. At the other end, too broad a control group and you risk not controlling for the factors which by mere chance highly influence life outcomes.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#63

Post by expertentipp »

hokus wrote: post #55
gradys wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess it depends on what version of the social contact you think we're all operating with. I'd say the quite minor inconvenience of someone ahead of you in line trying to start a conversation is part of what you sign up for when you go out in public. That is, as long as the initiator is prepared to take the hint when it's clear you don't want to talk.

I take it as a design question. Do we want a society designed for people who like to interact or do we want to design it after the desire for limiting interaction as much as possible? One time, on a crowded train, an elderly lady just started talking about her visit to her lovely grandchildren and what they had been up to since her last visit. It wasn't a short story and to her it was the most fascinating experience…

> She kept staring at him and kept telling him to just go away, go be miserable some place else, don't expect us to share your misery

From my experience it’s females are more likely to use this argumentation to marginalize the enemy - “nobody wants you, you are alone, go away loser”, etc. Someone might not want to share your misery some time in the future, elderly lady.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#64

Post by odiroot »

hokus wrote: post #55
gradys wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess it depends on what version of the social contact you think we're all operating with. I'd say the quite minor inconvenience of someone ahead of you in line trying to start a conversation is part of what you sign up for when you go out in public. That is, as long as the initiator is prepared to take the hint when it's clear you don't want to talk.

I take it as a design question. Do we want a society designed for people who like to interact or do we want to design it after the desire for limiting interaction as much as possible? One time, on a crowded train, an elderly lady just started talking about her visit to her lovely grandchildren and what they had been up to since her last visit. It wasn't a short story and to her it was the most fascinating experience…

> Do we want a society designed for people who like to interact or do we want to design it after the desire for limiting interaction as much as possible?

Personally I would prefer the first one. Like most of people in here, I'd risk a guess.

On the other hand I don't think it's good to have people like your "elderly lady" just casually imposing themselves on a train full of others.

There's a balance in everything.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#65

Post by petra »

k__ wrote: post #62

Isn't openness part of the big five (OCEAN) that can't be changed much later in life? You only become less and less open later in life.

This is different, it's not about bring conceptually open and interested in new ideas, its about openennes of attention.

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#66

Post by gnicholas »

Ntrails wrote: post #28
pm90 wrote: post #16

This is actually a very interesting article. And with the risk of attracting the wrath on internet haters, let me propose something that personally helped me a lot and which seems like a very narrow application of the principles described in the article: meeting romantic partners. I tend to be more open in talking to strangers and that has opened up worlds of opportunities to me. But the biggest benefit has certainly…

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

It's interesting to see this discussion in parallel with the front-page post about being diagnosed with autism as adults [1].

One of the interviewees describes herself as "being born with the social skills of a used teabag"—I wonder how folks like this factor into the calculus about starting discussions with strangers. What might seem totally fine to some could come off as tone-deaf, inappropriate, or even borderline harassment to others.

1: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16679469

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#67

Post by da02 »

phil21 wrote: post #22
da02 wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you mean by adventures?

Life experiences and personal growth. Opening yourself up to others (especially interesting others!) and entering their world is about the only way I've seen humans reliably grow and change as individuals. Something I wish I would have learned and internalized at a much younger age!

Oh ok. Thanks for clearing that up. I thought you meant stuff like skydiving.

Can you give an example of "personal growth"? (I'm not sure what exactly that is, but I think I need lots of that.)

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#68

Post by ahussain »

Ntrails wrote: post #28
pm90 wrote: post #16

This is actually a very interesting article. And with the risk of attracting the wrath on internet haters, let me propose something that personally helped me a lot and which seems like a very narrow application of the principles described in the article: meeting romantic partners. I tend to be more open in talking to strangers and that has opened up worlds of opportunities to me. But the biggest benefit has certainly…

> Let me qualify this by saying that I do not condone pestering strangers; that is borderline harassment (especially for women). There is really no way to know in advance whether initiating a conversation with a stranger is welcome or not, the only way to find out is to try. It's unreasonable to place the burden of a person to signal "don't impose yourself on me" when you could simply leave them alone and not take th…

One of the incredible things about the time I spent living in India is that in Indian society there were far more excuses to talk to people.

For example, to ask for directions (Google maps often not great), or to ask if a restaurant is any good (online reviews often sparse). As a result people are much more likely to talk to each other in regular day-to-day life, and are much more equipped to handle conversations with strangers. I saw strangers talking to each other on trains all the time, and rarely was anyone seen as an "inconvenience"

Re: The Key to Good Luck Is an Open Mind

#70

Post by davebryand »

wilsonnb wrote: post #54
davebryand wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for asking. Here is a grab bag in rough order of events. (Spent years 1-20 as Catholic, and years 21-39 as an atheist) * Leaving my third "failed" startup, post YC. (For the record, my awesome co-founders sold to Cisco after I had left) * Working with a coach to find and clearly define my deepest values * Leaving San Francisco to align my life with those values * Deciding to search for the meaning of life * Tr…

The Wikipedia page for the eight-circuit model of consciousness explained what it was pretty well but presented no evidence or arguments in favor of it. Do you know of any sources that that give such arguments? I am also curious as to how state of the art physics fits into the rest of your list. I assume it's related to the eight-circuit model and opening yourself up to the possibility that there is more to the unive…

Like most things that involve consciousness, the evidence is personal and experiential (Which is why people use the term psuedo-science for much of the information in this domain. Ironically, I now use that label as a signal for further research as opposed to something that I would reject out of hand). In my case, when I found the 8-circuit model, it was the best framework that I had found to explain the changes to my consciousness that I was experiencing. Like anything else that purports to describe reality, it's a model (the map), it's not truth (the territory).

In terms of physics, you pretty much got it. Coming to understand that reality is much weirder and less understood than the Newtonian, mechanistic mental models that I grew up with was a revelation. I don't have actionable insights other than the relaxing of the assumption that there were authorities out there that had it all figured out.

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