Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

bbc.co.uk

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

61–70 of 207 posts

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#61

Post by mercer »

itsameta4 wrote: post #56
bluetomcat wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have never been formally diagnosed because autism is still not a thing in Eastern Europe, but the following self-assessment leads me to believe I am: 1. Constant fear of losing my belongings like keys, which leads me to check what's in my pocket every minute or two while I'm walking. 2. Overly obsessive about following a particular "ritual" for everyday stuff like washing my car or cleaning the house. Every small s…

Your first two symptoms are literally the textbook definition of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_d... Number 3 may be as well; I'm not that familiar with OCD.

OCD and ADD are often nice little extras for people on the spectrum, unfortunately.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#62

Post by nicoburns »

dkarl wrote: post #48

I'm curious why people find the diagnosis to be so important. I can't at all imagine identifying with the sentiment, "Nothing is wrong with me, I’m just autistic," as one of the women in the article says. When I go to a party with my girlfriend, I want to come off well, if only for her sake, and I would like to have some interesting conversations, and maybe (very optimistically) to meet someone I can share an interes…

I have never had a formal diagnosis, but I have gradually come to conclusion that I have traits which are probably best understood as autistic.

For me, it was freeing in that allowed me to understand why I was sometimes failing in some areas and that it wasn't just a personal failing on my part.

It's also practically useful as reading descriptions of other autistic people's experiences allows me to predict when I might struggle with a situation, to coomunicate more clearly about, and sometimes to recognise that feelings (of e.g. anxiety) are irrational and don't necessarily need to be acted on.

Furthermore, by reading I can come to understand the differences between myself and neurotypical people and come to a learnt understanding of societal norms that are self-evident to others, thus allowing myself to interact better with others in future situations.

Of course a formal diagnosis isn't necessary for any of this. But for some it might be the easiest way to realise that they are in fact autistic.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#63

Post by breckinloggins »

dkarl wrote: post #48

I'm curious why people find the diagnosis to be so important. I can't at all imagine identifying with the sentiment, "Nothing is wrong with me, I’m just autistic," as one of the women in the article says. When I go to a party with my girlfriend, I want to come off well, if only for her sake, and I would like to have some interesting conversations, and maybe (very optimistically) to meet someone I can share an interes…

It could be that this tracks with whether you believe you have an "internal locus of control".

There's a spectrum of orientation between "just give me names for parts of who I am so I can understand myself and find a community of similar people" and "tell me everything most people think is wrong with me so I can fix it yesterday". I suspect we all fall at different points along that spectrum depending on the supposed or actual deviation from the norm in question.

Personal example: I don't care that I'm geekier than the norm; it's not something I desire to change though it feels good to know there are others like me. This doesn't change just because I'd have a wider selection of friends if only I learned to have more "normal" interests.

On the other hand, if I have a nervous tick or other part of my personality that the majority of people I see everyday find annoying, I want to know about it and fix it. I don't want to label it and then feel proud of being one of those people. I don't want to start an advocacy group or a hashtag. I want to eliminate that behavior immediately.

Same person, entirely different points along that spectrum.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#64

Post by futurix »

lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

My social skills were dreadful until I had some psychotherapy in my teens, but even now they aren't that great. And same as with OP, a lot of things that 'normal' people like are foreign to me - clubbing, watching sports on TV. I'll also add to this list - alcohol, smoking, nearly all TV series / shows.

But I never thought I'm 'on a spectrum'. Since heterosexuality is also completely foreign to me - I just assumed I'm a minority in most other areas too ;-) I had to have a long adjustment to the idea that despite being a part of a persecuted minority - there's nothing wrong with me. It's the society that is the problem - not me. Being in a majority is not a proof of a validity of your views - it is just an easier way of living, because you don't have to think about anything. And once you do that mental adjustment once - it is easy to apply elsewhere. I think that watching TV is a waste of time, I'd rather read a book - so what? I'll politely nod when someone is excited about yet another insufferable TV hit series, just as I will politely nod when they are talking about their heterosexual marriage / kids / suburban utopia. I don't have any desire to join in.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#65

Post by freeflight »

cookiecaper wrote: post #10

Autism, like cancer, is not a single thing. Toward the start of the spectrum, including Asperger's, it seems to be essentially "clinically-significant weirdness, not otherwise specified" (on the later end of the spectrum, it's "major or profound mental retardation, not otherwise specified"). A more productive discussion might be why we feel the need to pathologize so much about ourselves. Why do we need a person to l…

> A more productive discussion might be why we feel the need to pathologize so much about ourselves. Why do we need a person to look us over and say "Ah, none of what you are is your fault" to feel OK?

It's not as much pathologizing, for me personally, it's got more to do with self-discovery and having some kind of independent and external feedback for it.

I can introspect a whole lot about why I am the way I am, but that perspective can never be objective on its own due because it's all subjective to my internal memories, interpretations, and perspective, which will be biased and flawed in ways unrecognizable to me.

A diagnosis gives the feeling of defining something about one-self there, nothing just imagined by that person, but confirmed by an external person, an "expert in the field" too. If you tend to OCD about certain topics, like personality/consciousness, this can have the interesting allure of giving some supposed certainty that probably never can be given.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#66

Post by pluto9 »

lisper wrote: post #46
pluto9 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nothing in your description is specific to Asperger's Syndrome. You sound like an introvert with some social anxiety, which is not a developmental disorder.

You should consider the possibility that I have not given a complete description of my situation in a single HN comment from which one could properly diagnose me one way or the other. Maybe the aspects of my situation that would definitively decide the question one way or the other are too painful for me to air in public even after all these years, or maybe I just don't feel like baring my soul in public. Either way,…

You should consider the possibility that:

A. You asserted that you had Asperger's and then proceeded to explain why you believe that. Forgive me for then expecting your explanation to actually have something to do with Asperger's and not be a list of generic personality traits. Read your other comments--I'm obviously not the only one who thought so.

B. Your "pain and anguish" is not relevant to the fact of whether or not you have Asperger's. Social anxiety causes pain and anguish.

C. People "do something" about social anxiety all the time, as they should. Good for them and good for you. Really. I still don't see what that has to do with Asperger's syndrome.

D. Pointing out that a common personality trait is not a brain disorder is not "quibbling over terminology".

E. No offense was intended.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#67

Post by vldx »

colordrops wrote: post #14
lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

I'm pretty sure I was on the spectrum until my mid 20s. All social interaction was very painful - I couldn't look anyone in the eye, and didn't say anything to anyone. I made weird sounds and movements that others noticed, got lost in daydreams without realizing it, bright light sensitivity, obsessed over meaningless objects and toys, etc. Then I forced myself to travel, take lots of hallucinogens and empathogens, an…

Care to expand on the hallucinogens and empathogens? How did they benefit you?

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#68

Post by fwip »

mercer wrote: post #51
dkarl wrote: post #48

I'm curious why people find the diagnosis to be so important. I can't at all imagine identifying with the sentiment, "Nothing is wrong with me, I’m just autistic," as one of the women in the article says. When I go to a party with my girlfriend, I want to come off well, if only for her sake, and I would like to have some interesting conversations, and maybe (very optimistically) to meet someone I can share an interes…

I agree with you to the extent that it might not benefit the client to 'know' that their diagnosis is asperger's. It can be enough to be treated for the symptoms, as that's what will happen anyways. However, for the therapist it might matter more. There's some evidence, for example, that CBT, which is used for anxiety, among other things, can actually worsen the situation in someone who is on the spectrum. Furthermor…

I would be super interested to hear more about the contraindications of CBT for autism-spectrum people. A quick search is only turning up sites that are pro-CBT.

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#69

Post by cbhl »

colordrops wrote: post #14
lisper wrote: post #2

Aspergers was not a thing when I was growing up in the 70s so I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, and the result was a pretty painful childhood. I managed to drag myself out of it and give myself an education in social skills, and nowadays you'd never guess that I'm Aspie (my wife still doesn't believe me, but I think she's an undiagnosed Aspie herself). Even to this day there are…

I'm pretty sure I was on the spectrum until my mid 20s. All social interaction was very painful - I couldn't look anyone in the eye, and didn't say anything to anyone. I made weird sounds and movements that others noticed, got lost in daydreams without realizing it, bright light sensitivity, obsessed over meaningless objects and toys, etc. Then I forced myself to travel, take lots of hallucinogens and empathogens, an…

One of the weird things about the DSM-IV definition of Asperger's/Autism was that it was defined by certain criteria applying during childhood.

The literature that I was given during my diagnosis was very clear that even if all the symptoms disappeared in adulthood, you still "had it". (And of course, the doctors were all trying to give the parents hope, so, "oh, yes, it's very likely your child will have a normal adult life".)

(I'm still not 100% sure whether this also applies to the revised DSM-V definition.)

Re: It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

#70

Post by TomK32 »

bluetomcat wrote: post #50
olavk wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being interested in science does not mean you have Aspergers. Neither does not having certain interests like sports or clubbing. Only a minority go to clubs anyway, so I don't even see why they are the "normal"? (I'm not disputing your self-diagnosis here, just pointing out choice of hobbies have nothing to do with it.)

I have never been formally diagnosed because autism is still not a thing in Eastern Europe, but the following self-assessment leads me to believe I am: 1. Constant fear of losing my belongings like keys, which leads me to check what's in my pocket every minute or two while I'm walking. 2. Overly obsessive about following a particular "ritual" for everyday stuff like washing my car or cleaning the house. Every small s…

That sounds more like OCD. You don't observe anything like sensoric hypersensitivity? or looking at peoples lips, not the eyes, when they talk? or somewhat lack of empathy and emotions? or a strong sense for justice?
Post reply on HN