It all made sense when we found out we were autistic

I was only diagnosed at around 30, and so I also just kind of figured out how to 'pass for normal'.

One of my biggest frustrations when I talk about this stuff is that people will 1) insist I'm not autistic, as a compliment of sorts, 2) insist I'm not autistic as a sort of attack/defense, lest I 'use' it to victimize myself, or 3) start treating me like a 'broken' person and assigning all 'oddness' to aspergers.

At first this really bothered me, as I was also trying figure out myself what this diagnosis meant, either taking it too seriously, or forgetting that this rather massive piece of lifelong puzzle had now fallen into place, and dealing with the consequences (some bad, some very good).

Reaction #2 was surprisingly common and painful, especially from people that I didn't expect it from. I'd feel hurt because it never crossed my mind to 'excuse' myself. Even though I do think it provides a legitimate 'explanation' for past behavior that I felt, and sometimes still feel, deeply ashamed or embarrassed about. A certain amount of self-acceptance and forgiveness, I think, is crucial for many people who are on the spectrum, because they often deal with severe social anxiety to begin with, and the tendency to obsess/ruminate does not go well with guilt and embarrassment over the past.

The way I see it now, or try to, is that we're all (people in general) just too inclined to overvalue labels, in particular in the field of mental health, and as a result either reject them entirely, or let them form a wedge between 'the real us' and 'the disability/disorder'. When of course in reality such a distinction is not always very useful outside of the realm of the profession (whether diagnosis or therapy).

Normalizing these kinds of labels, without ignoring them entirely of course, strikes me as a very good development. The more we accept that we're all different/weird/'disordered' in various ways, but that some of us suffer more from this difference than others, the better we can actually come to positive outcomes, whether that means changing society, changing or coping through therapy, or the use of medication.

I'm pretty sure I was on the spectrum until my mid 20s. All social interaction was very painful - I couldn't look anyone in the eye, and didn't say anything to anyone. I made weird sounds and movements that others noticed, got lost in daydreams without realizing it, bright light sensitivity, obsessed over meaningless objects and toys, etc.

Then I forced myself to travel, take lots of hallucinogens and empathogens, and do projects that involve working directly with multiple people throughout the day. It was a very painful process, but by the time I was 35 I don't think I had many symptoms left.

I do think some minor cases are highly treatable if not curable if the sufferer takes matters into their own hands.

This is the exact feeling I get, for some things I just don't get why most people do that. I realise that for some people it may be hard to cope with or people might be intolerant or ignorant, and not to put those on the spectrum down or anything but I kind of think that everyone is on "the spectrum" with "normal" people just on one far side of it, it's just another part of being human. Someone I know very well is definitely Asperger's based on what I know and I have read, yet he was never diagnosed and would be offended if he had some label attached to them, and whilst he is terrible in social situations, he is completely independent and has always managed to hold down a job. I think in a way a diagnosis is a bad thing, if it then means that person is coddled for want of a better word.

Well, if it significantly impacts functioning, whether social or otherwise, it's pretty helpful to label it and find ways of solving the problems or coping with them (using said label to refer to the particular issues).

That said, I do agree that at least in the 'public mind' there's too much focus on these weird things being a problem. In fact, I've found that with those who struggle with mental health issues of many kinds, the pathologizing is a significant part of the problem. There's a strong pressure, both external and internal, to conform. Very often that's part of the problem, or the cause of many of the symptoms, and it strikes me as frustratingly pointless.

Deep interest about any topic which is considered "uninteresting" or "impractical" by "normal" people. Might be the history of a particular aircraft, or a car, or an event in the distant past. Your brain is consumed by it for completely irrational reasons and you feel obliged to dig even deeper.