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Some terrible personal news

mattcutts.com

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Re: Some terrible personal news

#161

Post by dingbat »

andrewbinstock wrote: post #78
snuxoll wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Broken heart syndrome is real, elderly couples have been know to pass within fairly short time frames of each other even if all medical indications show they very well could have survived longer. Losing the one person you have shared so much of your life with, likely raised children together with and confided in is something I cannot even comprehend. I’m going to put down HN now and play Minecraft with my wife or som…

I have long felt that death certificates are done completely wrong. Instead of just listing the proximate medical cause, they should list the true cause: he died of loneliness; he died of a broken heart; he died because he was homeless and couldn't find his way to the help he needed. When those are the causes of death that we start to track, perhaps the world will become a better place.

no thanks, when you go would you really want your last statement of who you were to be created by some random medical practitioner who decides on your behalf that the sum of your life was "he died a sad lonely man".

> he died because he was homeless and couldn't find his way to the help he needed.

taking your approach, you'd also have to allow at least some of those death certificates to list cause of death as: "he died because he was homeless, and he was homeless because he was a drunkard and an addict who was horrible to his family and most everyone he dealt with."

or is the intent to permit maudlin sentiments only?

Re: Some terrible personal news

#162

Post by dingbat »

rejschaap wrote: post #102
dragonwriter wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The farther you get from the proximate medical cause, the more supposition and speculation is involved.

True, but his point about missing information that could lead to the root cause is very valid. In some cases addressing the root cause is the only way to really prevent death.

assumes there is a singular root cause. "he died lonely of a broken heart?" but why was he lonely? "he died because in his entire life he failed to develop relationships with people" or "he died of loneliness because he was a terrible human being" etc.

and "he died of being homeless"? why was he homeless? because society was so cruel and uncaring? sure, he had nothing to do with it himself.

the other comment is right, this path inevitably leads to judgment and speculation.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#164

Post by dingbat »

vertex-four wrote: post #111
askl56 wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But that's not medically true? The proximate medical cause has to be valid and complete, otherwise what is the point in listing it? A death certificate provides full information as to why someone died for the relatives and for the state. This provides them with an explanation of how and why their relative died. It also gives them a permanent record of information about their family medical history, which may be impor…

The point here is that the proximate medical cause isn’t actually the complete cause. While medical records are useful, they don’t explain the circumstances that led to someone’s death, and are therefore heavily missing information in many cases. The person who died of pneumonia because they couldn’t afford to go to hospital - all that gets listed on their certificate is that they died of pneumonia, and so we’re lack…

> If we actually understood that people literally died of not having enough money, or of lack of willpower to deal with a bureaucracy, or of homelessness, or of their mental state, there’s every chance that something might change.

if you actually understood the implications of following your logic, please take a moment to explain:

why do people not have enough money?

do some people waste away whatever time and money they have?

do some people fail to develop any marketable skills?

are some people just incapable of rendering valuable labor or service to anyone?

what percentage of those without money fit into that hopeless category?

what should be done about those people?

why does money exist in the first place?

how do we ensure that everybody will "have enough money"?

why do people lack willpower?

why do bureaucracies exist and what is the alternative?

why does homelessness exist?

do people in dire straits often reject help?

do people in dire straits often make things worse for themselves?

how do we force people to stop doing that?

why do people have differing mental states?

that's just for a start. then answer those questions in context of each individual life and death. but that won't be necessary if one thinks that all homeless are just "the homeless", or that all poor people are just "the poor".

but that would be oversimplification and "heavily missing information" in many cases, don't you think?

Re: Some terrible personal news

#165

Post by jason_slack »

Matt, so sorry for your loss. I only know you through old YT videos. Reading this I am so thankful I told my wife I love her this morning before she departed for work and due to scheduling we wont see each other for 26 hours.

Damn. I don't know what I would do without my wife. She reminds me to change my clothes and shower when I have been coding for days and always makes sure I am warm enough while I sleep.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#166

Post by pbhjpbhj »

WingH wrote: post #115
joering2 wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Im curious how would they know all medical indication show they could have survived longer. I mean I see few movies with this underline story but do we really have some solid proof?

this is true. Take 10 million couples and maybe 1 in 10 million, this happens, and this is what we hear in the news. We never hear about the wife that lives 10 more years after their 85+ year old husband dies.

Should be relatively easy to crunch those numbers - is there a significant reduced life expectancy for surviving widows/widowers?

I'd be surprised if this hasn't been tested.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#169

Post by namenotrequired »

DanielBMarkham wrote: post #104

Loss like that is terrible. If it helps any, Matt, I found that writing down as much as I could somehow helped me get my head around it. It didn't help with the pain, but it was somehow reassuring to know that the feelings I had right after the loss had been captured somewhere forever. I don't have any words of wisdom, and my sharing my own story probably won't help. Somehow we must carry on. There are many times tha…

For those curious about writing to help deal with tragedy, look into the research by James W Pennebaker. TLDR is it is proven to help.
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