Rejoice, Matt, for YOU are one of the few who for the rest of their lives get to say "We knew each other for 23 years and we were married for 18 years,"'till death did us apart. If I can say such a statement in the end I will cry one tear of gratitude for every tear of sorrow. I hope you can find the strength.
He lost a person that he greatly loved at a relatively young age and you presume to tell him to be happy about it because now he can lord his widowed status over people. I'm generally not into making direct personal character attacks on the internet but I think that outlook is disgusting.
I'm sure that rokhayakebe means well (and I'm sure you do). Different people and cultures have different ways of offering condolence. It's what's in the heart that matters and that can't easily be judged online.