For those who don't know, Matt is the director of US Digital Service and all-round great guy.
Some terrible personal news
71–80 of 234 posts
Re: Some terrible personal news
#72I'm sorry for your loss.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#73I lost my wife suddenly in 2009, she was 34. Losing your significant other is something that you never get over - you live with the emptiness and the hurt, and you learn to move on and hope that the "fog" eventually lifts. It's something that only someone else who has been through the same experience will understand. I was lucky to meet a friend who had lost her husband a couple years before, and she helped me throug…
I lost my mom in 2001. One week after 9/11. I was 6. I often wonder if I would have been a better person if she was there.
Is it too late to become what she would have wanted? I don't mean to be glib, but you were a young kid then and (presumably) you're not anymore. Could you recreate her in your mind and allow her to influence you to become the person you would have been?
I'm a father, and I used to worry about what might happen to my young kids if I died. It would be a great comfort to me to imagine them, after they got older, making an effort to interview people who knew me, asking about what I was interested in, what mattered to me, what I used to talk about, how I talked, how serious/happy/neurotic/patient/stingy/grouchy/etc. I was. With this model, they could imagine conversations with me, discuss things with me, try not to disappoint me, etc.
Fortunately--for me, anyway--my kids are old enough now that they will never get my voice out of their heads, even if I get hit by a bus tomorrow (and even if they are driving the bus!) It's too late for them.
How about you? If you seriously think she might have made you a better person, why not help her by giving her a second chance?
Re: Some terrible personal news
#74I got married last year. Before I met my wife, I wasn't sure what I was doing with my life. For a time, I was fairly depressed about lots of mistakes I had made. I wasn't sure I had anyone who could understand me or help me. My brother introduced me to my wife and we hit it off. My wife gave me emotional stability and motivation to do things. The few times we've had fights, I cry when I hurt her. She is everything to…
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Re: Some terrible personal news
#75I saw Cindy just a few weeks ago. She was wonderful and kind as usual, and she was a positive presence, the kind of which we can never have enough of. This is heartbreaking.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#76Terrible news, but at the start of the text it seemed it was an even worse situation, with three people passing away at the same time. Glad (well, glad if not the best word) it was just a colorful description
Re: Some terrible personal news
#77I got married last year. Before I met my wife, I wasn't sure what I was doing with my life. For a time, I was fairly depressed about lots of mistakes I had made. I wasn't sure I had anyone who could understand me or help me. My brother introduced me to my wife and we hit it off. My wife gave me emotional stability and motivation to do things. The few times we've had fights, I cry when I hurt her. She is everything to…
Please go and see a Psychologist.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#78Earlier quoted context omitted.
You wouldn't be the first if you couldn't go on. A close family friend took his own life shortly after his wife died of cancer. After over 25 years of living together, I guess it was just too much for him to continue without her. I was too young at the time to understand and to be honest I'm still too young to understand.
Broken heart syndrome is real, elderly couples have been know to pass within fairly short time frames of each other even if all medical indications show they very well could have survived longer. Losing the one person you have shared so much of your life with, likely raised children together with and confided in is something I cannot even comprehend. I’m going to put down HN now and play Minecraft with my wife or som…
I have long felt that death certificates are done completely wrong. Instead of just listing the proximate medical cause, they should list the true cause: he died of loneliness; he died of a broken heart; he died because he was homeless and couldn't find his way to the help he needed.
When those are the causes of death that we start to track, perhaps the world will become a better place.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#79I got married last year. Before I met my wife, I wasn't sure what I was doing with my life. For a time, I was fairly depressed about lots of mistakes I had made. I wasn't sure I had anyone who could understand me or help me. My brother introduced me to my wife and we hit it off. My wife gave me emotional stability and motivation to do things. The few times we've had fights, I cry when I hurt her. She is everything to…
Please go and see a Psychologist.
This crosses into personal attack, which is not allowed here and which we ban accounts for. It was also particularly tasteless to post that here. Would you please read https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and not post like this again?
Re: Some terrible personal news
#80I got married last year. Before I met my wife, I wasn't sure what I was doing with my life. For a time, I was fairly depressed about lots of mistakes I had made. I wasn't sure I had anyone who could understand me or help me. My brother introduced me to my wife and we hit it off. My wife gave me emotional stability and motivation to do things. The few times we've had fights, I cry when I hurt her. She is everything to…
Please do see a psychologist. Depending on your personal background you may find this advice offensive or annoying, but give it a try.