Sorry to hear this news. Learned lot of things from your valuable comments and feedback on HN. Hope you find strength again.
Some terrible personal news
51–60 of 234 posts
Re: Some terrible personal news
#52Earlier quoted context omitted.
Dude.
This thread is about loss. What I referred to can be an extremely acute form of loss. There may be people in this thread struggling to deal with the form of loss I referred to.
I agree it's important. Divorcees don't get smothered with caring like widow(er)s do despite how devastating it can be. Perhaps worse because not only have you lost them but they're also telling you you're not wanted.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#53Rejoice, Matt, for YOU are one of the few who for the rest of their lives get to say "We knew each other for 23 years and we were married for 18 years,"'till death did us apart. If I can say such a statement in the end I will cry one tear of gratitude for every tear of sorrow. I hope you can find the strength.
He lost a person that he greatly loved at a relatively young age and you presume to tell him to be happy about it because now he can lord his widowed status over people. I'm generally not into making direct personal character attacks on the internet but I think that outlook is disgusting.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#54I lost my wife suddenly in 2009, she was 34. Losing your significant other is something that you never get over - you live with the emptiness and the hurt, and you learn to move on and hope that the "fog" eventually lifts. It's something that only someone else who has been through the same experience will understand. I was lucky to meet a friend who had lost her husband a couple years before, and she helped me throug…
>I’m unmanned and unmoored without her I found that quite cutting. I'm not sure I could go on if my wife died prematurely. My mind has turned to this on occassions when people close to me have suffered severe illness or died, and I just can't see in my minds eye how I could cope.
You wouldn't be the first if you couldn't go on.
A close family friend took his own life shortly after his wife died of cancer. After over 25 years of living together, I guess it was just too much for him to continue without her.
I was too young at the time to understand and to be honest I'm still too young to understand.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#55Matt was a colleague in Google's early days. He embodied all of the best qualities of the organization. He can do anything he wants to, but he chooses to spend his time improving Google's search experience, and freely giving of his wisdom and expertise through his blog. If there was ever a person who did not deserve this, it's Matt.
> If there was ever a person who did not deserve this, it's Matt. Let's be clear... NO ONE deserves to die or to lose a loved one. And yet...
Injecting politics?
Re: Some terrible personal news
#56Matt, I still remember being a young webmaster watching your YouTube videos, almost immediately whenever you'd release one. I remember joking about how you never changed your shirts, then you put out a video saying that you film several weeks of questions in one sitting and that you were going to change shirts between questions from then on. I always thought that was really cool of you to be that receptive and open to the community, always reading the comments and being what seemed like the only source of truth in Google during a time of hidden updates and obscure policies. You've given so much to everyone, I can only imagine how much you must have given eachother.
If there's anything the community can do to help, please don't hesitate, you've helped us all in ways small and large.
Stay strong, she lives on in you and everyone else she touched - continue to treat her good by taking care of yourself and everyone else she is a part of.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#57I wrote to Matt once asking a technical question about Google and to be honest I wasn't expecting an answer. But a couple of days later he took the time to answer. Such a great guy. Hope him the best.
A huge asset to Google and to the community. Couldn't have happened to a less deserving person.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#58Nothing will fill this loss. No "sorry" word will help. World is different for you now, and it's time for grieving. There is life and death. There's love and memories.
Nothing ever fills the loss of a loved one, it doesn’t matter if they’re a spouse, a parent, a child or a pet - a loved one is forever missing from your life.
What I can say is with time things get better. No, time doesn’t heal all wounds - the loss of a loved one will stay with you for the rest of your life, but you will go from thinking about it every minute to a couple times a day to a couple times a week, to a few times a year, etc. Sometimes the pain will still hit you like a fully loaded truck, other times you will instead recall the joy that was brought to your life and be thankful for the time you had however brief.
I have absolutely no idea how much pain Matt is having to endure right now, and I won’t pretend to imagine - so the best I can say is the above, it does get better, but that doesn’t ever make it “okay”. All we can ever hope is that as time passes those moments of happy remembrance outweigh the gut punches, and I hope that everyone who has suffered a loss reaches that point.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#59Earlier quoted context omitted.
>I’m unmanned and unmoored without her I found that quite cutting. I'm not sure I could go on if my wife died prematurely. My mind has turned to this on occassions when people close to me have suffered severe illness or died, and I just can't see in my minds eye how I could cope.
You wouldn't be the first if you couldn't go on. A close family friend took his own life shortly after his wife died of cancer. After over 25 years of living together, I guess it was just too much for him to continue without her. I was too young at the time to understand and to be honest I'm still too young to understand.
Broken heart syndrome is real, elderly couples have been know to pass within fairly short time frames of each other even if all medical indications show they very well could have survived longer. Losing the one person you have shared so much of your life with, likely raised children together with and confided in is something I cannot even comprehend.
I’m going to put down HN now and play Minecraft with my wife or something, because now I feel like I’m squandering my time with her.
Re: Some terrible personal news
#60Your beautiful remembrance of your cherished love is both touching and poignant. Thank you for sharing this life lesson. I hope the act of writing down and expressing your feelings can bring you some comfort.