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Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

nytimes.com

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Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#91

Post by iak8god »

owebmaster wrote: post #81
colmvp wrote: post #57

I think loneliness is especially bad for men as we are prone to hide our mental health and true feelings/emotions, not seek medical attention when we need it, and generally have less intimate discussions with friends as compared to women. So a lot of men end up suffering loneliness for a long period of time without any emotional support. It feels like one of those things which creeps on you, and before you know it, y…

> I think loneliness is especially bad for men as we are prone to hide our mental health and true feelings/emotions Don't put the blame on the victims. Modern society doesn't discuss and give relevance to the problems of individual men in the way it does to women's problems.

How about "[men] are conditioned to hide our mental health and true feelings/emotions"

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#92

Post by watwut »

hestipod wrote: post #50
snarf21 wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I understand that it isn't an easy road but nothing is. Gardening or photography is a hobby you can start yourself with almost no cost and health isn't a real barrier. If there is no club, you could start one. Or maybe join the mall walking club which may also help with your physical health. There is something out there for you. You're worth it so put forth the effort. The return will surprise you.

I know you mean well, and I am not trying to argue for sport or be difficult, but it's not as simple as you imagine. I have health issues that prevent me from spending time down in the dirt gardening and I don't find it appealing at all. Photography requires infrastructure and equipment. Walking is a big problem for me because of the surgeries and fallout. I really wish people would not do the "you have to work at it…

Hey, good luck. The hard thing about recommending hobbies to strangers is that one don't know them so the only chance to guess is to project what I like. Moreover your issue is not lack of hobby, but being alone in the house due to logistic reasons.

When I was lonely and isolated (less then you), arguing on the Internet helped. It is not same as real communication and friends, but it more then nothing. Keeps you from loosing it entirely. Writing is communication too, altrough less effective.

Another weird thing was that when I finely had chance to communicate, it was tiring because I basically forgot how to do it. If that happens to you too, that is ok and normal. Don't get discouraged when talk won't go smoothy (as I did).

I wish you good luck, that something around you shows up.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#93

Post by hestipod »

drdeadringer wrote: post #70
colmvp wrote: post #57

I think loneliness is especially bad for men as we are prone to hide our mental health and true feelings/emotions, not seek medical attention when we need it, and generally have less intimate discussions with friends as compared to women. So a lot of men end up suffering loneliness for a long period of time without any emotional support. It feels like one of those things which creeps on you, and before you know it, y…

> It feels like one of those things which creeps on you, and before you know it, you aren't attending social events, you don't have much energy or confidence, your perception of others becomes skewed, and it all seems pretty helpless. "How did you get lonely?" "Gradually, then suddenly." ... I wonder if there aren't many aspects of life like this.

"Gradually then suddenly"

This phrase, it's context, and your follow up thought have affected me in a raw and uncomofortable way I wasn't expecting today.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#94

Post by atomical »

imoldfella wrote: post #74
hestipod wrote: post #21

I am incredibly lonely. Health and financial circumstances pushed me into the worst possible social situation...isolated in rural unconnected America where the only two people I regularly see resent me and it has had a severely negative effect on my already miserable health over the years. Being middle aged it magnifies the issue as it's harder to connect as you age anyway due to life's progression. I saw huge number…

Go to church, what have you got to lose? With all its problems every church is filled with nice people and I guarantee with a few calls (probably 1) you will find someone that will pick you up and take you. No matter how rural you are, there is a church close by.

This can work up to a point. They are looking for something in return. Your belief, money, or both.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#95

Post by manjushri »

truculation wrote: post #12

I'm conflicted about socialising. It seems at best shallow and trivial. At worst downright exploitative. It seems like a politician's game, or a gangster's. Yet occasionally I enjoy the warmth of catching up with an old friend. 'The ape-descendant will greet [me] in return, but in deference to a million years of evolution, he will not attempt to pick fleas off [me]; Earthmen are not proud of their ancestors and never…

Socializing is a game, but that doesn't mean you can't play it with genuine, mutually beneficial, good intentions.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#96

Post by drdeadringer »

hestipod wrote: post #93
drdeadringer wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It feels like one of those things which creeps on you, and before you know it, you aren't attending social events, you don't have much energy or confidence, your perception of others becomes skewed, and it all seems pretty helpless. "How did you get lonely?" "Gradually, then suddenly." ... I wonder if there aren't many aspects of life like this.

"Gradually then suddenly" This phrase, it's context, and your follow up thought have affected me in a raw and uncomofortable way I wasn't expecting today.

And similar to yours to me. Many thanks.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#97

Post by atomical »

billysielu wrote: post #17

If I wanted to be social I wouldn't even know where to start. There's nowhere to go to hang out and meet people. Folks work and then go home and stay in their houses (UK commuter town). The previous generation might have gone to the pub (bar) but those have been turned into restaurants so even that doesn't work anymore. I even start thinking about going online as the best available option to be RL social. horror I th…

Tinder, OKCupid. Convert them to real friends by meeting up for lunch, dinner, game night, whatever.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#98

Post by zombieprocesses »

Betteridge's law of headlines : "Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no."

This is why I canceled my subscription to the NYTimes and stop following the news so much. Everything is an epidemic. Everything is going to end the world.

Are there people with problems of loneliness? Sure. Is it an epidemic? Of course not.

Just like the tide pod epidemic last month. Next come, it'll be another epidemic.

And the easiest way to spot lazy media is see if the title is a headline.

"Will your kids' candy be safe this halloween?"

"Did aliens build the pyramids?"

In my opinion, the only real epidemic in modern times is people wasting time reading useless media.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#99

Post by doughj3 »

atomical wrote: post #94
imoldfella wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Go to church, what have you got to lose? With all its problems every church is filled with nice people and I guarantee with a few calls (probably 1) you will find someone that will pick you up and take you. No matter how rural you are, there is a church close by.

This can work up to a point. They are looking for something in return. Your belief, money, or both.

The church may be looking for those things; the churchgoers, however, not so much.

Re: Is Loneliness a Health Epidemic?

#100

Post by overcast »

hestipod wrote: post #72
simion314 wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hi, I am in a similar situation, isolated in a village,I have disabilities, maybe we could exchange emails sometimes.

Hi. I am sorry to hear your situation is similar. My email is in my profile but I will be honest up front that I am dealing with so much right now that I wouldn't be a good friend and hate disappointing anyone so please don't expect much or feel slighted.

I think your first course of action is improving your attitude. You start out with a cry for help about your problems, depression, and loneliness. People respond, offering help, and you have a negative response to it. It may not seem like much, but people are more willing to help you, if you're willing to be helped. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, be positive, and take advantage of what others are offering.
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