I'm not a drupal person. Have very little experience with it, but I take a perverse joy in tackling problems like this. Go figure. I assume from the description that apache is running mod_php and that is how drupal comes into the apache crashing part? how exactly is it crashing? can you give a few details about any errors in the logs, a more detailed description of what a 'crash' is etc?
The last time I looked under the hood, I observed this behavior. 1. After a restart of apache: Apache starts out running. He spins up a few threads, 10 or so and then kills a few as he goes on his merry way. 2. Eventually, the number of threads starts rising. 20 threads. 40 threads. 60 threads. 90 threads. 130 threads. 3. 45-55 minutes after the previous restart, apache is now frozen. SupervisorD, which has been chec…
Threads or processes? If using the worker mpm, switch to prefork.
If problems persist, strace a frozen process to see what it's doing. strace is an incredibly useful diagnostic tool.
You could even set up a script to parse the server-status page, find out which processes are hung based on the SS column (seconds since beginning of most recent request) and kill that PID... but that's not pretty.