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Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

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Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#41

Post by maxxxxx »

j0hnny_r3db34rd wrote: post #26

Sell everything you own, buy some land in the country, quit your job and just chill out. Grow a garden, raise some chickens, go to farmer's markets and sell your wares. The happiest people I know quit tech years ago and became small-time farmers.

You forgot the first step for this which is to be independently wealthy and not actually need the income from your little farm.

Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#42

Post by moorage »

My whole perspective changed greatly when I started to define success to be focused on what I want to be true about how I spent my time each day (e.g. on something I was truly passionate about), rather than an outcome like some financial event or some position.

Of course, it took me years to figure out what I would be passionate about doing that I would also earn a living off of!

Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#45

Post by mathgeek »

j0hnny_r3db34rd wrote: post #26

Sell everything you own, buy some land in the country, quit your job and just chill out. Grow a garden, raise some chickens, go to farmer's markets and sell your wares. The happiest people I know quit tech years ago and became small-time farmers.

Another option is to work remotely and live rurally. Best of both worlds. Also more easily achievable for those who want to stay in tech.

Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#47

Post by ll931110 »

Right now I'm about to start my first job after college, and have been struggling for a few months before (by some unrelated reasons). Now I find I don't need trying to be successful for its own sake, I treat it as a journey to find my own value. Instead of fixating on a single, true way to succeed (which often depends on a lot of factors outside your control), I keep multiple scenarios with "true" and "flexible" ending. While I will work for the true ending, ending up at a flexible ending suffices.

Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#48

Post by abtinf »

You have to be careful in how you define “success” and recognize that you cannot achieve it by aiming for it as an abstract goal unto itself. Instead, you have to introspect and work toward your personal values. For an extended discussion, listen to this podcast:

https://youtu.be/eok34BJwIm4

Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#49

Post by iamben »

jkaljundi wrote: post #36

If you have a room to live in and food on your table, you already are successful. Enjoy life.

But the brain doesn't work like that. It's a bit like telling someone who's depressed "next time you feel down, just smile!"

I understand what you're getting at, but I don't think it helps.

Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#50

Post by analog31 »

glibgil wrote: post #15

Maintain multiple independent identities. Exercise and make friends with people who do your preferred activity. If you have a startup or a high profile job, blog or tweet as your own persona about topics that do not fall under your line of work, but are still interesting to you. Keep up friendships and dating and when you talk about work, only do so when it is a good story. Socialize with people that live differently…

Playing music was how I got myself to do these things. It's a really fresh perspective to hang out with people who don't give a rat's arse about your job, and are better than you at something else.
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