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Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

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Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#38

Post by finaliteration »

atak1 wrote: post #18
glibgil wrote: post #15

Maintain multiple independent identities. Exercise and make friends with people who do your preferred activity. If you have a startup or a high profile job, blog or tweet as your own persona about topics that do not fall under your line of work, but are still interesting to you. Keep up friendships and dating and when you talk about work, only do so when it is a good story. Socialize with people that live differently…

this is great advice, and something I wish I took more to heart when I was doing my startup out of college. to add my 2c to this answer, I've found it's a lot easier if you've worked in a team in a more established company for 2-4 years. you know what you can and can't do, and don't have to "prove your worth". you can establish friendships, dating patterns, blogging, vlogging. ultimately, I suspect the depression com…

> ultimately, I suspect the depression comes from a sense that you're not part of a bigger group with a shared identity.

I think this is a big part of it. I have chronic depression and anxiety but it’s pretty manageable because I work on a small-ish team and get to solve problems in a group setting a lot. In other jobs I’ve worked where I was isolated (like being the only technical person for an entire company of 100 people) I felt incredibly depressed, alone, and like I wasn’t going anywhere.

A good team early on can make a huge difference in terms of feeling supported and building confidence.

Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#39

Post by j0hnml »

The number of people responding is very encouraging to see.

To answer the question, I echo and endorse what one user has already posted -- practice gratitude and be nice to yourself. It's very easy to get caught-up thinking we're not enough these days, and social media likely exacerbates it. I'm not going to tell you to get off of social media, but try appreciating all the things you do well and find things you like about yourself.

Lastly, I'm not too big into self-help books, but if there's one that's helped me it's The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. The gist is start loving yourself for who you are, recognize that you are enough, and understand the difference between shame and guilt (and why guilt is ok but shame is bad).

Re: Ask HN: How to stop feeling depressed about whether you will be successful?

#40

Post by tachyoff »

A little nihilism legitimately helps me. One day, the sun will expand and, most likely, engulf the inner planets. Save for a few hunks of metal and bursts of energy, all that was, is, and will be of earth will be incinerated, and rather spectacularly, I might add. We’ll (most likely) be long gone by then, but I find comfort recognizing that my life is but a short blip on the cosmological timeline, and as such, I shouldn’t take life too seriously. Live well, if you can. Be kind to others, love as much as possible, but remember, as they say: you can’t take it with you.
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