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Worst Roommate Ever

nymag.com

161–170 of 290 posts

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#161

This sounds eerily close to David Peritz's shenanigans in california: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/12/berkeley-sarah-... edit: but way crazier. Good grief.

I didn't realize the simple matter of not having an address on checks was such a red flag.

Barring a real-time clearance system (as I believe most stores still accepting checks tend to use), a check is just basically an IOU with a promise that there's enough money in your banking account to cover it. Especially in a rental situation, I'm not sure that the lack of an address is a huge red flag--after all, the person is probably between addresses. But a complete blank check without even a name on it? Yeah, that's a red flag given that, even if you've just opened up a new account, today you can get personalized checks within a few days if not on the spot.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#162
post #6

One of the most important tools we have for social encounters like interviewing a stranger as a potential new roommate is our "gut" reaction, which is our hard-won evolutionary instincts warning us of potential danger -- warning that something is off about the person or their situation. Trust your gut.

I completely disagree. I think our "gut" is infinitely biased. No one is immune. If you believe you do not have racial, ethnic, and gender biases you are wrong. And, if you read the article, everyone's gut reaction was that this man was an unassuming, down to earth, great guy, and they got along with him very well at first. The article makes clear that their gut reaction failed them.

Sorry, I know I'm reading into your statement, but your reaction is very stereotypical 'liberal', aka 'thinks too much'. I do agree with you in that people do have biases, but there are several levels to this, perhaps. The biases you speak of are surface level ones, but 'gut' things are at a deeper level, at least how I'd define things.

I'd say there is a learning curve associated with 'gut' instincts. If your parents were good ones, you'd have acquired such knowledge earlier than I ever did, which to say was much later than ideal... But once you have dealt with enough assholes and full blown psychopaths, your 'gut' is better at picking up the subtle clues.

Then you can start seeing thru the surface impressions easier - I'd say the people you speak of just hadn't had enough adversity in their life yet - and from a BS New Age point of view, that's what allowed this guy to install himself in their lives, to provide them with some life lesson they needed to go through. I'm certainly not blaming the victim - it's just that if they don't take away a useful life lesson then they're missing out on extracting some value from the experience.

I empathize with the people in the article immensely. I'd just say they were too trusting, too 'liberal' (in all the associated stereotypes) and their 'gut' was dumb/inexperienced. The psychopaths/Machiavellians I've had to deal with were not involved in my life as much as a co-tenant would be, but they were close enough. And I consciously picked up little clues to their essential nature over time, but kept not integrating them into a larger more comprehensive picture till it all became a crisis. It is acting on those clues fast enough that is key, and that requires learning through experience.

tldr; there are book smarts and there are street smarts. Both have utility and to rely heavily on one and discount the other is unwise. Street smarts involve training your gut to deal with the jackasses and worse you will encounter in life.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#163
post #126
post #53

The kind of tenancy laws I read in articles like these, sound absolutely idiotic. If you let someone into your home, and they aren't on the lease, you should be able to kick them out anytime they overstay their welcome. If you do sign a lease with someone, and they haven't paid their rent, you should be able to throw their stuff out and change the locks as soon as their security deposit has run itself out. As a forme…

In the UK if the landlord lives at the same place (i.e. you live with the landlord) then you have far less rights as a tenant. Including a very short notice period.

You would typically be an excluded occupier, meaning that you could be evicted with only "reasonable notice" - typically seven days. The landlord doesn't have to give a reason, you have no right to appeal and the police can remove you if you refuse to leave.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_rentin...

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> ...than the persons renting out a house they don't need. Is a camera rental company just "renting out cameras they don't need"? Maintaining rental properties is a livelihood, a bad faith tenant is just as abusive as a bad faith landlord. People buy properties on loans to rent them out, when a tenant refuses to pay the rent, the utilities and the loan payments fall to the landlord. The obvious effect of this is that…

If it destroyed someone's life to go without a camera then this would be a reasonable analogy. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_to_housing

It destroys a landlord's life if their primary asset is turned unfairly into a liability.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#165
post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I lived in mortal fear of the day one of them realised that they could just stop paying me rent, and there's nothing I can do about it whatsoever That is of course false. It may be a hassle, but you can absolutely to something. And giving people housing is important, that's why the laws often favor the person renting, not the owner. The laws is a risk you have to take if you want to rent out your place. Price it in…

> That is of course false. It may be a hassle, but you can absolutely to something. It depends where. In France you are completely stuck when someone dies not pay. It can take over a year to finally kick someone out. And this is just if he is not paying. If someone pays, it is simply impossible. Every three years you may take back the house for your or your close family use only. You cannot sell it empty. You cannot…

So find an investment that does not amplify the housing crisis.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#166

I just lived for my last semester of undergrad with two people like this who really got on each others' nerves (all three of us just needed a semester of housing to finish school). They'd both brought their own toasters and just wanted theirs out and the others in a cabinet. I think they had less than 5 conversations in person, instead putting all their incredibly minor complaints in a group text so I'd have to see i…

Still waiting for the part where they tried to murder you.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Great find! So, not exactly consistent with the NYT piece. First, this is not a NYT article. What do you think is inconsistent? The article tries to highlight the idea that ‘beheading’ was said rhetorically.

"Suddenly, a man had appeared with a knife and slashed Gutzeit’s throat." According to the older news article Gutzeit grabbed the other Student, then got stabbed.

The "suddenly" is very disingenuous, when Gutzeit was the one that started the physical confrontation, and had provoked Vidrine just earlier.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#168
post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the UK if the landlord lives at the same place (i.e. you live with the landlord) then you have far less rights as a tenant. Including a very short notice period.

I didn't notice in the article that "they signed a lease/contract". "He signed the check in a messy scrawl" but not a contract. In the UK (and many other parts of the world) a contract is (almost) always signed before anyone moves in. Handing a checque means nothing is not bulletproof. One can claim that it was a payment for a selling an old computer (and then the courts will have to do the talking).

But this was a roommate situation. I doubt most people sign any formal letters when hiring a roommate, as most people don’t come from a legal / business background.

He also handed a check instantly to people who were desperate for money...

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#169
post #80
post #53

The kind of tenancy laws I read in articles like these, sound absolutely idiotic. If you let someone into your home, and they aren't on the lease, you should be able to kick them out anytime they overstay their welcome. If you do sign a lease with someone, and they haven't paid their rent, you should be able to throw their stuff out and change the locks as soon as their security deposit has run itself out. As a forme…

> I lived in mortal fear of the day one of them realised that they could just stop paying me rent, and there's nothing I can do about it whatsoever That is of course false. It may be a hassle, but you can absolutely to something. And giving people housing is important, that's why the laws often favor the person renting, not the owner. The laws is a risk you have to take if you want to rent out your place. Price it in…

Realistically, there's nothing I can do about it because the eviction process is so long and time consuming, that by the time I finally evict the person, my lease would be over and I'd be moving out anyway. After having given my roommate free housing for many months of course.

> "Giving people housing is important"

I agree! So let's make the government financially liable for any missed rent payments, while the eviction process is pending. After all, if providing its citizens with housing is so important, it should be the state's financial responsibility, not that of a random landlord whose contract was violated. I'm all for universal basic income, but not income-appropriated-from-a-few-random-landlords.

> "Price it into your rent"

Ah, now we get to the real rub. Everyone already does this. If you're a rich, successful individual, you have the luxury of living anywhere you want, at market prices. If you're down on your luck, but want to turn things around, you'll find that many places will refuse to accept you anyway, because the risk is too great. Or they will offer you housing at significantly higher rents, because of the additional risks involved. Either way, you're getting screwed, just because some other deadbeat thinks he's entitled to free housing at the landlord's expense.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#170
This is not LIFE.

It made a motherfucking article in nymag.com.

AKA it'll never be your boring life.

AKA You get to choose the interesting bits of life and what you want to be in nymag.com mag if you want to try really hard.

Otherwise skip the horror, tone it down a fuckload and live life in a good way.

Most people won't fuck you over, don't become the cunt that thinks they will (With a little caution) else you'll just become the 'evil' person in the article and the subject of the next story as the cynical hate the world stip it of everything person.

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