71–80 of 290 posts
One of the most important tools we have for social encounters like interviewing a stranger as a potential new roommate is our "gut" reaction, which is our hard-won evolutionary instincts warning us of potential danger -- warning that something is off about the person or their situation. Trust your gut.
The kind of tenancy laws I read in articles like these, sound absolutely idiotic. If you let someone into your home, and they aren't on the lease, you should be able to kick them out anytime they overstay their welcome. If you do sign a lease with someone, and they haven't paid their rent, you should be able to throw their stuff out and change the locks as soon as their security deposit has run itself out. As a forme…
Are you serious? So no tenants rights at all? Just because of an incredibly rare and unique situation?
Just the thought of being forced out of my house, or even having it invaded confrontationally by someone like this who is relentless and antagonistic, immediately gives me the gut reaction that if I take a baseball bat at night, catch him while he's sleeping, and beat him badly enough to the point where I can safely call the cops and claim I just defended myself after he tried to drag me into his room and I grabbed a…
If you start calling the cops on some bogus claims, what's to prevent him from doing the same? This is purely one person's word against the other's, so it isn't really going to work.
There are criminal solutions to these problems where you're unlikely to be implicated, but getting the police involved in your conflict a priori is certainly not the way to promote success.
"Bachman enrolled at Tulane University in the fall of 1975, but his time there was rocky and brief, ruptured by a horrific incident in January at the Sigma Chi house, just off campus. Although Bachman was not a member of the frat, he told Friedman he’d been hanging around the house with a friend from Elkins Park, a boy a year older named Ken Gutzeit. Suddenly, a man had appeared with a knife and slashed Gutzeit’s throat. “The word Jamison used was beheaded,” Friedman told me. According to news reports, Gutzeit was killed by a 25-year-old student librarian named Randell Vidrine. The two were said to have been feuding since the previous fall, after Vidrine called campus police on Gutzeit for eating a cheese sandwich among the stacks. (“I know it sounds incredible, but from what we understand they never argued about anything else,” a police spokesperson told a reporter at the time. “It was always about the sandwich.”) Gutzeit stumbled onto the frat-house steps and bled to death, surrounded by Bachman and some two dozen other witnesses. (A grand jury declined to indict Vidrine.)"
I looked into it...
The Times Shreveport, Louisiana 31 Jan 1976
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes in this instance false negatives are very bad. It's better to reject ten perfectly acceptable roommates than to accept one crazy ax-murderer roommate.
not for those ten potential roommates it's not. :) Is it really rational to reject those 10 roommates for no good reason to avoid the 1 in a million hellish roommates?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Are you serious? So no tenants rights at all? Just because of an incredibly rare and unique situation?
I support him. If you want "tenant rights" you can sign appropriate lease contract that allows you to stay longer in case you are in some trouble. Perhaps you could also buy some insurance for that. But why owner of the property would have to keep it in hands of somebody who is not paying? Because tenant is in some bad life situation? I think in most cases if that really would be the case, property owner would help,…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
On the other hand, gut reactions to sociopaths and psychopaths are a thing. Too often though people take your view of it, and try to rationalize that feeling away. I’d rather trust my gut and ignore the pretty mediocre studies about unconscious bias that seem hard to replicate, thanks.
Gut reactions to psychopaths tend to be the opposite: they are charming, and charismatic. Theres's a very good chance that you will like them, from the first impression. That's one of the traits/signs of a psychopath. That's why you shouldn't trust your gut, at least not in this case. And the experiences of the victims in the article reinforce this point, at least in the first encounters: a courtly gentleman , he was…
Actually that's the thing that threw me off. I mean why would a successful, well-adjusted "gentleman" even be in a situation where the best option for him is to live in a shared apartment with a woman considerably younger than him? Sure he gave her a reason, but well, he has to come up with _something_ doesn't he?
To me it seems much more likely that she agreed to him as her new room-mate out of desperate need for another person paying half of the rent.
I find the dismissal of "gut feeling" in these answers a bit ridiculous (when it comes to non-professional arrangements). Sure, you might be biased, but if you're not feeling comfortable living with someone don't move in with them!
Huh, as I started reading I was thinking "I've had some pretty bad roommates, I wonder if this is worse." About a quarter of the way through I realized this is way worse. About three quarters of the way through I was filled with dread as I was pretty sure it wasn't going to end well. Excellent writing..
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Are you serious? So no tenants rights at all? Just because of an incredibly rare and unique situation?
I support him. If you want "tenant rights" you can sign appropriate lease contract that allows you to stay longer in case you are in some trouble. Perhaps you could also buy some insurance for that. But why owner of the property would have to keep it in hands of somebody who is not paying? Because tenant is in some bad life situation? I think in most cases if that really would be the case, property owner would help,…
Well, the thing is, by coming to an agreement, you automatically enter a contract. There is not need for a signed piece of paper; a written, explicit contract is just for both parties to be clear on the terms, to deviate from default terms set by law, and to make possible litigation easier. You do not need to sign a contract if you buy a piece of gum from a vending machine, yet, legally, it is the same process as buying a car.
If I agree to let you stay in my apartment as your residence (that is, not simply a visit), we have entered a lease contract. Thus, tenancy laws come into effect. There is no need for a piece of paper to make what we have a lease.
The kind of tenancy laws I read in articles like these, sound absolutely idiotic. If you let someone into your home, and they aren't on the lease, you should be able to kick them out anytime they overstay their welcome. If you do sign a lease with someone, and they haven't paid their rent, you should be able to throw their stuff out and change the locks as soon as their security deposit has run itself out. As a forme…
That is of course false. It may be a hassle, but you can absolutely to something.
And giving people housing is important, that's why the laws often favor the person renting, not the owner. The laws is a risk you have to take if you want to rent out your place. Price it into your rent. Or just don't live in "mortal fear" by not being a master tenant..