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Worst Roommate Ever

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Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#101

Post by Chris2048 »

philliphaydon wrote: post #94
PascLeRasc wrote: post #24

I just lived for my last semester of undergrad with two people like this who really got on each others' nerves (all three of us just needed a semester of housing to finish school). They'd both brought their own toasters and just wanted theirs out and the others in a cabinet. I think they had less than 5 conversations in person, instead putting all their incredibly minor complaints in a group text so I'd have to see i…

I’ve never had problems like this. I had a policy with flat mates which was. If you put food in the fridge, expect me to eat it, if I put food in the fridge, I expect you to eat it, I’m not going to argue about fridge space or who bought what. It’s not worth the time and effort.

> or who bought what

Why? Why aren't people entitled to the things they buy? It just rewards people with peculiar tastes or low budgets.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#102

Post by kaybe »

BrandoElFollito wrote: post #99
maaaats wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I lived in mortal fear of the day one of them realised that they could just stop paying me rent, and there's nothing I can do about it whatsoever That is of course false. It may be a hassle, but you can absolutely to something. And giving people housing is important, that's why the laws often favor the person renting, not the owner. The laws is a risk you have to take if you want to rent out your place. Price it in…

> That is of course false. It may be a hassle, but you can absolutely to something. It depends where. In France you are completely stuck when someone dies not pay. It can take over a year to finally kick someone out. And this is just if he is not paying. If someone pays, it is simply impossible. Every three years you may take back the house for your or your close family use only. You cannot sell it empty. You cannot…

Germany has strong tenant protection, but the situation in the article would not be protected because the tenant and the landlord share the same space. The protections are only strong if you do not share. (2 weeks notice for both parties otherwise)

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#103

Post by [deleted] »

shdwban wrote: post #100
mischov wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The source of the original article is New York Magazine, not the NYT.

Wow, so you're assuming I'm a troll. And you're assuming that others are rational beings and downvoted me because I was off topic. My parent also mentioned NYT, wasn't downvoted. Being complete incorrect vs me being off topic (and definitely on topic in the immediate context) yet factual. Your assumptions are biased. Edit: and now rather than owning up to your mistake, you ninja-edited your comment. Just like NYT. Go…

[deleted]

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#104

Post by ozim »

smelendez wrote: post #63
0x7f800000 wrote: post #5

One of the most important tools we have for social encounters like interviewing a stranger as a potential new roommate is our "gut" reaction, which is our hard-won evolutionary instincts warning us of potential danger -- warning that something is off about the person or their situation. Trust your gut.

One rule of thumb that's served me well: the sooner someone brings negativity and hard luck stories into your interactions, the more negativity they'll bring into your life.

I think it is psychos strategy to find people with empathy for targeting or finding out other psychos. You just talk about bad stuff that happened to you and observe reactions. Reasonable people will be put off and those vulnerable will show how they care.

So I am not dating anyone who is in 'bad luck', if you are in bad luck you should not be looking for new friends, lovers. You should be working on making it better. Question would be also where are your current friends? Having something to hide?

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#105

Post by Joe-Z »

adrianmsmith wrote: post #96
Joe-Z wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>...a courtly gentleman, he was very respectful. Actually that's the thing that threw me off. I mean why would a successful, well-adjusted "gentleman" even be in a situation where the best option for him is to live in a shared apartment with a woman considerably younger than him? Sure he gave her a reason, but well, he has to come up with _something_ doesn't he? To me it seems much more likely that she agreed to him…

I'm not sure I necessarily agree with this. When I was 35 I was getting divorced, and for simplicity, I moved into a shared apartment with a bunch of students (as I had to pay for the apartment with my wife, I didn't want to pay rent for two full apartments at the same time). I was a professional software Java developer at the time. I appreciate 35 isn't 55, and I appreciate Java software developer isn't successful l…

Your situation seems considerably less weird too me though. Another important difference is you moved in with „a bunch“ of people whereas the woman in the article was alone. I‘d sure as hell not want to be on my own if it turns out my new 35-year-old Java-developer roommate is a lunatic after all :D

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#106

Post by shdwban »

shdwban wrote: post #100
mischov wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The source of the original article is New York Magazine, not the NYT.

Wow, so you're assuming I'm a troll. And you're assuming that others are rational beings and downvoted me because I was off topic. My parent also mentioned NYT, wasn't downvoted. Being complete incorrect vs me being off topic (and definitely on topic in the immediate context) yet factual. Your assumptions are biased. Edit: and now rather than owning up to your mistake, you ninja-edited your comment. Just like NYT. Go…

My understanding is that -4 is the lowest a post can be downvoted. Both my posts have reached that point so further downvotes wouldn't be effective. I'm creating this dummy post #1 for other cnn watchers late to the party. Mods please let me know if this is against the rules and I will remove. Thanks.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#107

Post by throesx333 »

throwaway_4321 wrote: post #31
danielvf wrote: post #12

The author of ZeroMQ wrote a book on recognizing people like this, and more importantly how to get yourself out of prison they’ve put you in. The action plans have helped me. The lucky ones in the NYmag article here did many of the things he recommends. Free PDF here, look for the hard to find “read” button. https://www.gitbook.com/book/hintjens/psychopathcode/details

I'm sure this will be unpopular, but: I once had a psychopath like this turn up in my life. Like a lot of these stories, it escalated slowly, one creepy / inappropriate thing at a time. There really is a frog in hot water effect in play here. If you haven't experienced it, it might be hard to understand why someone let themselves be in that situation at all. What I don't understand, however, is why people don't deal…

The thing is, this is purely cultural. In my country(eastern Europe), victim's male relatives would do this almost certainly and the police would not intervene. There is also posibility that the guy would simply vanish. Criminal organizations also handle psychopaths and child molesters. They have families after all.

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#108

Post by [deleted] »

shdwban wrote: post #106
shdwban wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow, so you're assuming I'm a troll. And you're assuming that others are rational beings and downvoted me because I was off topic. My parent also mentioned NYT, wasn't downvoted. Being complete incorrect vs me being off topic (and definitely on topic in the immediate context) yet factual. Your assumptions are biased. Edit: and now rather than owning up to your mistake, you ninja-edited your comment. Just like NYT. Go…

My understanding is that -4 is the lowest a post can be downvoted. Both my posts have reached that point so further downvotes wouldn't be effective. I'm creating this dummy post #1 for other cnn watchers late to the party. Mods please let me know if this is against the rules and I will remove. Thanks.

[deleted]

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#109

Post by blablabla123 »

danielvf wrote: post #12

The author of ZeroMQ wrote a book on recognizing people like this, and more importantly how to get yourself out of prison they’ve put you in. The action plans have helped me. The lucky ones in the NYmag article here did many of the things he recommends. Free PDF here, look for the hard to find “read” button. https://www.gitbook.com/book/hintjens/psychopathcode/details

Wow thanks for the reference! I got burned by such people several times. Although I must admit that faaaar milder than written here!

In any case Pieter Hintjens is genius!

Re: Worst Roommate Ever

#110

Post by maaaats »

BrandoElFollito wrote: post #99
maaaats wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I lived in mortal fear of the day one of them realised that they could just stop paying me rent, and there's nothing I can do about it whatsoever That is of course false. It may be a hassle, but you can absolutely to something. And giving people housing is important, that's why the laws often favor the person renting, not the owner. The laws is a risk you have to take if you want to rent out your place. Price it in…

> That is of course false. It may be a hassle, but you can absolutely to something. It depends where. In France you are completely stuck when someone dies not pay. It can take over a year to finally kick someone out. And this is just if he is not paying. If someone pays, it is simply impossible. Every three years you may take back the house for your or your close family use only. You cannot sell it empty. You cannot…

> It depends where. In France you are completely stuck when someone dies not pay. It can take over a year to finally kick someone out.

But then how do you kick them out? By doing something! Which was my point. Saying "nothing whatsoever to do about it" is a lie by the OP.

I'm not saying all the rules are sane. But it's better to protect the weak that need roof over their heads, than the persons renting out a house they don't need.

One could even argue the French law is good. If it deters people from buying properties for renting to others by making it not as lucrative, it keeps the prices down and makes housing affordable for many.

Owning multiple properties and renting them out isn't a right. Having a house to live in should be.

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