Regrets of the Dying

This happens quite often. Several good links escape attention due to low votes and get lost. Shouldn't I have got a "link already exists" message?

Apply yourself, Salieri, you lazy git.

Here are some things I wish I understood when I was 17:

1. Being "unique" doesn't mean trying to alienate everyone else. Many of the people that you meet, and who seem simple or uninteresting, have a great story to tell or a special talent to share. So, trying to "fit in" a little bit and getting to know lots of people doesn't make you a lesser person in any way; it makes you greater for the broader perspectives that you will get.

2. As you begin to learn to find something of value in each person, also begin to learn to find something of value in the work that you do. Stubbornly refusing to do homework only hurts you, and proves nothing. This is the best time to begin developing the discipline required to focus completely on a mundane task and finish it as quickly as possible; if you can get the hang of that, then there's no job you can't master.

3. Do not talk yourself out of saying "hi" to that girl. You're missing out on a lot of fun, it won't hurt you, and the sooner you start practicing this the sooner you'll get the hang of it.

4. Make sure you maintain a healthy balance in your life. Working all day behind a computer and then going home to play around with a computer until the early morning will eventually cause you to burn out and completely disrupt everything you have in order to feel healthy again. Even though you enjoy it now, you're better off leaving some time for learning how to work on a car, or running around outside, or socializing; then you'll have something to do when you can't stand working on a computer anymore.

5. Most of all, spend less time on the internet. In 10 years you'll barely remember any of the message boards that are so important to you now; you'll have trouble remembering many of the people that you associate with online; you won't be certain exactly what it was you did with all your time online. If you want to socialize, meet some people in person; if you want to learn something, start with a book; if you want to waste some time, try another hobby; and if you want pornography, try finding a girl to say hi to instead.

6. Oh, and finally: you probably won't heed any of this advice anyway, because you're irrationally stubborn, determined to do things your own way, and still struggling with some bad habits that you refuse to get help with. That's OK. You'll be fine so long as you keep pushing yourself a little bit every day.

I'm sure none of these apply to you, but I wished I knew them 15 years ago. :-)

> So many of the things you learn, things you'd like your 17 year old self to know, are things that other 17 year olds already know; and vice versa.

Indeed, and many parents make a mistake by not realizing this.

They think about what they missed in their lives (e.g. money) and they want their children to have it, so they force them to go to med school and make their lives miserable by being too strict about studying and discipline.

They never look at what they themselves (the parents) had and took for granted (e.g. freedom, social life) and they don't see that their children don't have these things. The parents might even view these things as unimportant, because after all, they had a social life in their youth, but it didn't earn them any money! So it's better for their children to not have a social life, but instead get a good career so that they can earn money!

The problem is this assumes you are able to predict now what a later version of yourself will regret later, which isn't possible. Every decision creates a different you which will value different things. A path that he takes now because of his imagined future no-regret prediction may have prevented him from taking a path from which he would have ended up learning something much more, which would have a completely changed his judgements about what he would regret. No-regret is a good aspect of making decisions, but he might want to through in a few principles and values into the mix as well.