Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website • Hacker News Board

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#441

Post by Consultant32452 » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 3:58 PM UTC

muse900 wrote: post #425

alkonaut wrote: post #191

Kids who grew up in an environment where anonymous interaction is the norm (such as kids who have anonymous social chats at school, or do in-game chats etc) have grown so accustomed to it that I don't think they even see it as sexist, racist, bullying etc. Most would probably never say any of this to someones' face, not out of fear of consequences but simply because they know better. Yet in anonymous contact they don…

As a kid I grew up playing video games. Around the age of 13 I switched on to online video games. I spent too much time on games like w3/wow etc. As a kid being exposed to such an environment wasn't good at all. After years, now being in my 30's I can totally understand how online gaming changed me and my interactions vs people that haven't played online games etc are completely different. I used to have a complete d…

I think a plurality of kids in middle and high school go through this phase whether they play video games or not. It's a normal part of growing up. You've got lots of new hormones and frustrations in life. It's a time of testing all sorts of social boundaries. I wonder to what extent gaming increases this phenomenon from the norm, or whether it's just a different avenue through which these things are expressed.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#442

Post by radioo75555 » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 3:59 PM UTC

jenthoven wrote: post #324

contravariant wrote: post #304

It would be nice to have some labels on the bar graph. I assume that orange represents the rude messages and blue the heckling, but for all I know it's the other way around. It's even possible that one column is for normal messages and one for rude/heckling messages, especially since I'm not entirely sure what the difference is between between rude/trolling and sexual-harassment/heckling (I'd understand if it were ru…

Hey this is Julia, the post’s author. Sorry there’s no legend; I kind of included it in the title of the graph but orange was “Rude or trolling messages” and blue was “Sexual harassment or heckling”

Hi milk truk

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#443

Post by zeveb » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 4:00 PM UTC

staticelf wrote: post #307

alkonaut wrote: post #191

Kids who grew up in an environment where anonymous interaction is the norm (such as kids who have anonymous social chats at school, or do in-game chats etc) have grown so accustomed to it that I don't think they even see it as sexist, racist, bullying etc. Most would probably never say any of this to someones' face, not out of fear of consequences but simply because they know better. Yet in anonymous contact they don…

When I play online games, in this example PUBG, I think a part of the fun is to be rude and aggressive before the match starts. You're about to virtually shoot them in the head so saying something rude to random online gamers doesn't feel at all bad. Other people often respond back, just as rudely and I think it's hilarious. It can't be just me who thinks and acts like this? Context matters a lot in my opinion. Altho…

> When I play online games, in this example PUBG, I think a part of the fun is to be rude and aggressive before the match starts. You're about to virtually shoot them in the head so saying something rude to random online gamers doesn't feel at all bad.

You're right about how in some context trash talk is expected & part of the game, but maybe it'd be better to play games in which one doesn't practise insulting, mocking & killing others. Maybe it'd be better to play games which encourage our better virtues rather than our worse vices. Maybe the world would be a better place if we pretended to love one another rather than hate one another.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#444

Post by sli » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 4:01 PM UTC

grasshopperpurp wrote: post #402

And, no one should have any issue reporting those people to their employers. If you act like scum, particularly with your employer in your profile, society should punish you.

Oftentimes the profile picture is the kid and it makes me wonder, what would the kid think in 10 years about the parent saying such awful things alongside their image.

They'll likely never even know, and won't ever see it, but I do wonder if these folks ask themselves that question.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#445

Post by enlightenedfool » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 4:02 PM UTC

Nadya wrote: post #416

grasshopperpurp wrote: post #402

And, no one should have any issue reporting those people to their employers. If you act like scum, particularly with your employer in your profile, society should punish you.

People are always so quick to jump to this line of reasoning when popular opinion agrees with them. Would you be fine with losing your job for wrongthink if - or rather, when - social opinion swings the other way? It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong - you should be punished for disagreeing with society! Societal retribution for "wrongthink" is not the right answer. It's how you end up with LGBT losing their jo…

Excellent point. The idea that someone should lose the job and livelihood because of a wrong doing is madness. The punishment should cause a behavior correction and not end of life. Such vengeful society we live in today!

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#446

Post by zimpenfish » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 4:03 PM UTC

slantyyz wrote: post #436

cimmanom wrote: post #395

It's disappointing that so many comments in this discussion are trying to explain away the problem rather than to come up with a solution for it.

While there might be some valid solutions that can be conceived for the problem, I highly doubt the problem will ever go away. People on the Internet use the veneer of anonymity afforded to them by the Internet to behave in a manner very different from a face-to-face interaction. The chat box in the post isn't very different from being approached in a retail store by a salesperson. And while I'm sure retail salespeop…

> I often wonder whether that same technology has made people better or worse.

I don't think it's either - it's just exposed what people always were but now there's zero friction to telling hundreds (thousands, etc.) of people your beliefs whereas before you'd, what, write to a paper and maybe it got published and 600 people would see it.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#447

Post by mynameisvlad » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 4:03 PM UTC

Double_a_92 wrote: post #141

guy98238710 wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's very different. The guy on the street actually wanted the girl. These people on the internet don't want anyone. They just want a victim for abuse. The annoying chatbox just gives them an excuse to vent off.

How is it (sexual) abuse if you write dumb shit in a chat box? At most you are wasting their time while being rude...

Words can affect people. People can and do take that "dumb shit" personally. The age-old adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me." is nowhere near true.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#448

Post by newfoundglory » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 4:04 PM UTC

mschuster91 wrote: post #339

eitland wrote: post #297

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Disagree strongly. And HN is proof that this isn't (entirely) true. In fact HN is a lot nicer than a number of verified name forums.

> In fact HN is a lot nicer than a number of verified name forums. HN is relatively niche, it's not mainstream. Even if a troll posts e.g. sexist or Nazi crap here, it will get no attention due to a lack of fellow Nazis to upvote and engage like on Twitter/FB/Reddit, and in addition both the userbase and the mods are quick in removing trolling, thus further reducing the "profit" that a troll can have from trolling. A…

Perhaps we have different definitions of sexist - I think that HN is generally quite supportive of the “free-thinker” type of sexism and racism exemplified by James Damore.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#449

Post by grasshopperpurp » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 4:06 PM UTC

Nadya wrote: post #416

grasshopperpurp wrote: post #402

And, no one should have any issue reporting those people to their employers. If you act like scum, particularly with your employer in your profile, society should punish you.

People are always so quick to jump to this line of reasoning when popular opinion agrees with them. Would you be fine with losing your job for wrongthink if - or rather, when - social opinion swings the other way? It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong - you should be punished for disagreeing with society! Societal retribution for "wrongthink" is not the right answer. It's how you end up with LGBT losing their jo…

Did you miss the post I was responding to? Let me help you out.

>I also see some pretty terrible behavior in Facebook comments on news sites/blogs right next to people's names, employer and a photo of them with their kid.

Did you miss what this thread is about? It's about rude or trolling messages and sexual harassment.

Are you intentionally missing the point?

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#450

Post by mi100hael » Fri, Feb 16, 2018, 4:07 PM UTC

BlackFly wrote: post #229

laci27 wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm using the net (As a guy) for 20 years now, and I was surprised. This is taking place at an alarming scale. Some parents really missed the mark in teaching their kids basic human manners, and I'm not even talking about the golden rule...

> I'm using the net (As a guy) for 20 years now ... Early on people said "There are no girls on the internet," and the sentence was supposed to embody the anonymity of the internet and the renaissance notion that a person should be judged by the merits of their arguments and not the labels attached to them. Someone claims to be a girl? No, you are talking to a middle aged dude having a chuckle. Maybe I have rose tint…

> Early on people said "There are no girls on the internet," and the sentence was supposed to embody the anonymity of the internet and the renaissance notion that a person should be judged by the merits of their arguments and not the labels attached to them.

No, it was supposed to embody the fact that there were literally very few women on the majority of online message boards and chat rooms for a long time...