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Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

kapwing.com

341–350 of 666 posts

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#341
post #285

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Only for as long as nobody really cares. OPSEC is hard. Even people for whom it's a matter of life and death fail at it routinely. Angry trolls even more so. Your first message may be anonymous, but by your third message there's a good chance someone dedicated could find you if they cared enough.

And how exactly?

Not to the three messages claim, but in general, various baddies have been tracked down despite using TOR etc.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#342

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I play online games, in this example PUBG, I think a part of the fun is to be rude and aggressive before the match starts. You're about to virtually shoot them in the head so saying something rude to random online gamers doesn't feel at all bad. Other people often respond back, just as rudely and I think it's hilarious. It can't be just me who thinks and acts like this? Context matters a lot in my opinion. Altho…

If part of the fun for you is acting like a jerk to other people online, then it means you enjoy acting like a jerk to other people. Context is interesting, but it just means that overall, you’re only sometimes acting like a jerk. You might just be a jerk.

In some contexts competitive back-and-forth insulting is a baked in part of the culture, and is mutually enjoyable. You're only a jerk if you can see that the other person is no longer enjoying it and you continue anyway.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#343

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am male and used to work in a call centre. I apparently have a good voice, and I was repeatedly asked out by random women calling the service desk. I even got a virtual stalker who kept inventing issues and calling daily just to speak with me. Since I am male, I was not threatened but amused, but I can see how a woman would feel vulnerable in the same situation.

>Since I am male, I was not threatened but amused, but I can see how a woman would feel vulnerable in the same situation. Why ?

From an evolutionary biology perspective the stakes are totally different for different for men versus women.

For men reproduction has almost no consequences (biologically speaking) while for women it can be life threatening. Men are biologically advantaged to make as many passes as possible until they are able to mate while women are advantaged to find the best mate possible. I think it is fair that this shapes the lens in which both sexes see unsolicited flirting.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#344
post #204

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"How much will it take to convince the average HN reader that sexism actually is everywhere?" I presume those that think this way either have no female friends or have not asked them about it. Men generally don't get catcalls or get their body fondled by strangers.

Men generally don't catcall or fondle strangers' bodies either. It's a general projection, "why would anyone do that?".

> Men generally don't catcall or fondle strangers' bodies either.

But vastly more men catcall or grope women than the other way around. That's the issue.

> It's a general projection, "why would anyone do that?".

To assert power and dominance (both attributes that are part of the common definition of "masculinity" in western societies).

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#345
post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm using the net (As a guy) for 20 years now, and I was surprised. This is taking place at an alarming scale. Some parents really missed the mark in teaching their kids basic human manners, and I'm not even talking about the golden rule...

I am really curious. You say you have used the net for 20 years now, so how can you be surprised about this? Have you not exposed yourself to other anonymous forums? They're all filled with vitriol and disrespect.

Hi. Yes. I didn't go to any anonymous forums. I didn't have any reason to go there. For me, It's like visiting the ghetto for the trill of being mugged..

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#346
post #105

Amazing. The author spends a lot of time to tell us a very convincing story how sexism affects people in our industry, and the Hacker News thread is full of people rationalizing it. - it's only because people think you're a bot - it's because of your target audience - it's because chat widgets are annoying - you don't really have enough data to make any conclusions How much will it take to convince the average HN rea…

"Rude people are sexist" or "Sexist people are rude" is about the only conclusion you can draw here (maybe not even that, correlation != causation etc etc) It doesn't even come close to showing how "sexism is everywhere". For all we know the sample could be entirely edgy 12 year olds. Tell me again how this self-admittedly "non-rigorous scientific study" proves "sexism is everywhere"? It could easily be that more att…

> Tell me again how this self-admittedly "non-rigorous scientific study" proves "sexism is everywhere"?

By itself, this article doesn't prove that, it's only one more data point in the vast unending ocean of data points that prove it.

> It could easily by that more attractive profiles results in more interactions and receive the same proportion of sexist responses.

You're imagining something fairly contrary to what the article said, and to what many other examples and studies have shown. The primary factor is the gender of the recipient, and while the article is not rigorous, it demonstrated a greater percentage of sexist comments for the more attractive female photo, and demonstrated a near zero percentage for the male photo.

> For all we know the sample could be entirely edgy 12 year olds.

That, um, doesn't count as sexism? If it's all 12 year olds, we still have a problem. Maybe a worse problem.

Out of curiosity, you seem to be arguing that sexism online might not exist, yet it's a huge problem, easily demonstrable and widely known. What's preventing you from acknowledging the issue?

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#347
post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Rude people are sexist" or "Sexist people are rude" is about the only conclusion you can draw here (maybe not even that, correlation != causation etc etc) It doesn't even come close to showing how "sexism is everywhere". For all we know the sample could be entirely edgy 12 year olds. Tell me again how this self-admittedly "non-rigorous scientific study" proves "sexism is everywhere"? It could easily be that more att…

Ok, but do you think those 12 year olds are going to all grow up to be well behaving adults? Or maybe the problems with this kind of sexism are starting very young. If you are right then the solutions still need to be addressed, but we need to start earlier.

If these are really just edgy 12 year olds, then I don't even see the problem in their behaviour itself as much as the fact that it's not possible to identify them as just edgy kids. It's probably not that they need to find out what they are doing is wrong, they probably even know that already, but that they find out that it doesn't make them cool or special or in any way better, which is what they most likely believe when they do stuff like that.

A woman (or man, for that matter) who really gets distressed by being insulted by a 12 year old kid certainly shouldn't be the norm, and I don't believe they are. If every one of those chat messages had a button to "forward this to their parent", they would look completely harmless, but with the anonymity the internet provides, they are just chat messages from what could very well be a 30 year old man, making the dumb prank of an even dumber kid seem like way more than it is.

What I think would be interesting is some sort of age statistic, because I expect at least two thirds if not more of these messages to be from people under 15.

And since somebody will undoubtedly interpret this message like that, no, I am not saying all online harassment can be dismissed, only the large majority of it.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#348

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Surprised here also (I'm a guy in my 40s; 25 years online) - I know there are people online with no manners, and I go out of my way not to interact with them, but the sheer level of abuse shown here (and sadly elsewhere too) constantly amazes and upsets me. The obvious thing to do is to remove anonymity from the Internet. However then what do we do about peoples rights[1] to free speech? --- [1] Not every country giv…

Facebook is a fantastic example that lack of anonymity does not solve anything. It takes 5 seconds to find groups where people openly say that all women are bad, immigrants should be shot, black people are responsible for all the crime etc etc......even though all of their friends and family can see those posts. It solves nothing.

China is solving this problem. Every citizen will have it's own score (by 2019 or something) and you get points taken away if any of your online friends or family say bad things about the communist party. It's a solution... but i'm not sure if it's the right one:)

here's the article: http://www.wired.co.uk/article/chinese-government-social-cre...

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#349

It would be nice to have some labels on the bar graph. I assume that orange represents the rude messages and blue the heckling, but for all I know it's the other way around. It's even possible that one column is for normal messages and one for rude/heckling messages, especially since I'm not entirely sure what the difference is between between rude/trolling and sexual-harassment/heckling (I'd understand if it were ru…

Hey this is Julia, the post’s author. Sorry there’s no legend; I kind of included it in the title of the graph but orange was “Rude or trolling messages” and blue was “Sexual harassment or heckling”

Did you consider that this maybe not be representative of a systemic bias against women across all demographics, rather, the demographic that searches for video meme makers on the internet is skewed towards horny rude teenage boys that bask in anonymity?

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#350
Sometimes I think how difficult it must be to be a women, being bombarded by the looks all the time, feeling like a pray... Partly it is in our nature, partly in the culture and education. We as men have still a long way to go to fully respect women.

If you haven't seen, I recommend the movie Whores' Glory http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1327628/ to have a peek into the women's life as a sexual worker. If only we could offer them a better life.. Imagine being a woman trapped there for your lifetime. Unimaginable..

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