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Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

kapwing.com

81–90 of 666 posts

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#81
post #14

These chat messenger pop-ups can be quite annoying, the example on the site mentioned is typically 'in your face'. What's particularly frustrating with this one is that there is already a prominent speech bubble icon in the corner of the screen that suggests they have a chat feature - if I want it. It doesn't need to crack open after a second and slap me. I am not defending the obvious misogyny here but I think an ex…

I don't see how this is relevant in any way. I dislike these messenger ups too and finding them utterly annoying, but it's not an article about usability, UX or user engagement. It's about how men see and treat women online when using this specific tool, and I think it presents a huge educational problem of this (my) gender.

As a man, I wouldn't never even think I have to hide my photo online. I've been using the internet for more than 20 years and was never harassed based on my sex (or anything else, really). I find it crucial that we understand these different experiences we're all facing when we go online, if we ever want it to be different.

As far as I see it, this is about educating our boys much more than it is about educating our web designers.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#82
post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey - I totally agree it can be annoying, especially since Drift asks users to enter their email address and people are worried about spam. So it’s a tradeoff between annoyance at the pop up and the support users get when they have problems. Our website is a video editing tool, so we decided that it’s more important to have someone to answer questions than to avoid “peeing off” users. And, regardless of how annoying…

> especially since Drift asks users to enter their email address and people are worried about spam. Huh, okay. (Why bring up some other site?) > Our website is a video editing tool, so we decided .. I don't quite follow - how does that fact justify using this particular dark UI pattern?

[deleted]

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#83
post #14

These chat messenger pop-ups can be quite annoying, the example on the site mentioned is typically 'in your face'. What's particularly frustrating with this one is that there is already a prominent speech bubble icon in the corner of the screen that suggests they have a chat feature - if I want it. It doesn't need to crack open after a second and slap me. I am not defending the obvious misogyny here but I think an ex…

This is basically an A/B test, admittedly on a moderate sample size but the point Julia is making is that the amount of abuse differed depending on the gender of the name and photo. All other variables, such as "annoyingness factor of having a pop-up chat box", were the same in all cases.

Even if the abuse were partly caused by the chat box popping up annoyingly, one could still conclude that a chat box popping up with a woman's name and face annoys people more than with a man's or a generic "team" one.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#84

Honest question: What's the logic behind being so utterly rude from the first moment to someone you find attractive? Is it supposed to attract them back somehow?

Actually, people are colder and more abusive towards those less good-looking. The case described in the article is not due to beauty. It's because people think it's a bot or at least a fake photo. That's what irritates them.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#86

Honest question: What's the logic behind being so utterly rude from the first moment to someone you find attractive? Is it supposed to attract them back somehow?

Actually, people are colder and more abusive towards those less good-looking. The case described in the article is not due to beauty. It's because people think it's a bot or at least a fake photo. That's what irritates them.

Ahh, yes, that would explain it. I guess the next step here would be to put a note that says this is a human and see how people respond!

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#87
post #79

It's without a doubt that there is extreme misogyny on the internet and in the real world, but I would be interested in the demographics of the bad responses you got: country, age, gender, etc. This is the natural next step to understand how to solve this problem.

It's not without a doubt. See other comments. It might be that people think the pretty woman photo is fake or that it's all a scripted bot. The sexism might actually go the other way round - some people assuming these web devs are ugly antisocial men hiding behind fake photo of a pretty woman.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#88

It may also be that people are more likely to assume it's a bot if it's a female, given that almost all chat bots claim to be female.

Showering abuse on a female bot still demonstrates deep misogyny imo, even if there is no victim in that case.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#89

Honest question: What's the logic behind being so utterly rude from the first moment to someone you find attractive? Is it supposed to attract them back somehow?

Actually, people are colder and more abusive towards those less good-looking. The case described in the article is not due to beauty. It's because people think it's a bot or at least a fake photo. That's what irritates them.

But then why would you harass a bot?

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#90
post #63

TBH if such an annoying chat robot pops up, my answer could also be a very unfriendly 'go away'. Regarding photo difference this has likely to do with part of the audience which use such a mem maker kapwing site: idiots. An ip lookup who they are and/or coming from would have been interesting.

We didn't include "Go away" or "get out of my way" or even "shut up" in the count of rude messages. I only counted messages where a user swore, called me a name, or said something clearly aggressive or mean.

When I used Windows 10 for the first time and Microsoft's chatbot popped up, the first thing I asked it to do is "f*ck off". This might be the gender bias you are seeing. People assume it's a safe-to-swear chatbot when the photo is a pretty woman.
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