Ok, an update, since I can't edit the original anymore. "Kyle" at Coinbase reached out to me via email: "I’m so sorry for the delay in our response. We were able to clear your account." I can't imagine that it had anything to do with bad publicity from being on the front page of Hacker News... anyway, I'm glad it was finally resolved. Thanks HN.
Allegedly now that many banks/credit card companies have cut off crypto exchanges that the only way to cash out is to match your SELL order with somebody buying in....
And now we have this whole USDT fiasco...Tether has actually overtaken the "how to buy bitcoin" google searches...
https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=now%207-d&q=bu...