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Teenagers now better behaved and less hedonistic but lonelier and more isolated

economist.com

71–80 of 125 posts

Re: Teenagers now better behaved and less hedonistic but lonelier and more isolated

#71
post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why? Repudiation of this abhorrent ”hookup culture” that seems to be sweeping through our western societies is to be applauded. I’m not arguing for abstention, but reserving sex for monogamous, committed relationships is, as far as I am concerned, an unmitigated good.

The idea that there is a hookup culture sweeping through our western societies is directly contradicted by the numbers presented in the very article we are discussing here. And anyway, I reject this prudish Judeo-Christian inspired sexual ethics. Sex is good and good for you . There should be more of.

> Judeo-Christian inspired sexual ethics

There are religions outside the Judeo-Islamic world with similar views. Besides, such mores also have a lot to do with culture and class.

Re: Teenagers now better behaved and less hedonistic but lonelier and more isolated

#73
post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I disagree with that completely, like honestly people that prefer monogamy generally do so because they are either afraid to be alone, because it was what they were brought up on, just don't want to deal with being rejected a bunch before hooking up that night, or they are romantics. Monogamy is rarely worth it just because there aren't a lot of people out there in the world that meet the conditions of the sex not be…

Don’t use the word “like” so frequently.

Don't tell people what to do

Re: Teenagers now better behaved and less hedonistic but lonelier and more isolated

#74
post #16
post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why? Repudiation of this abhorrent ”hookup culture” that seems to be sweeping through our western societies is to be applauded. I’m not arguing for abstention, but reserving sex for monogamous, committed relationships is, as far as I am concerned, an unmitigated good.

Why? What’s so intrinsically special in monogamy to deserve the label “unmitigated good”?

Long term it's the most stable.

Re: Teenagers now better behaved and less hedonistic but lonelier and more isolated

#75
post #15

Can someone explain why less hedonistic is seen as better?

Suppose you have problems in your life, and you're suffering. You could drink alcohol or take opiates, and they might make you feel better for a while. But the effect wears off, and you're back in the same situation, except now maybe your problems are a bit worse, because the drugs made you sick, or made you do something you regret, or you become addicted, or you miss the feeling of them, or your tolerance has increased. You're flirting with a downward spiral. It's an unskillful way to handle suffering.

Well, same thing for trying to get solace from sex. It's like two drowning people trying to use each other as life preservers. Or two junkies who stay together just as long as they think the other person is helping them get the feeling they want. Love makes relationships safer because you will not purposefully harm the other person if you love them. You cannot love someone and use them to get a feeling to their detriment because if you love them their well-being is more important to you than your own.

Re: Teenagers now better behaved and less hedonistic but lonelier and more isolated

#76
post #19
post #5

Better behaved and less hedonistic or just more passive?

We’re turning our own human ecosystems into a panopticon, no wonder newbies are scared of straying off. Anything can and will be used against you, eventually. (I’m not talking about fascist-kind repression and dissent wipeout, that’s out of our collective memory anyway and eventually only a problem for politicized individuals. No, it’s the much more concrete and pervasive peer control made possible by Facebook, Insta…

Yes, maybe. Although I'm a little older than subjects of this article, coming of age on the cusp of the smartphone era but before Facebook and before any of my friends had even a half-decent camera in their phones, and already suspected that the social energy was much lower than it was for people a few years older.

Re: Teenagers now better behaved and less hedonistic but lonelier and more isolated

#77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is nothing new about us humans having short-term jollies, or even medium- / long-term jollies that are non-monogamous. Short- / medium- / long-term non-monogamous jollies goes as far back as time immemorial. As far back as the beginnings of life itself. I'm willing to bet monogamy is the new normal as far as historical longevity is concerned. I'm no anthropologist, so I'm willing to be corrected on that matter.…

People also have been rejecting that since time immemorial, so the strength of your argument just barely suffices to eat itself.

That some people have been rejecting it since time immemorial doesn't mean those behaviours don't exist.

What I'm disagreeing with is this: new doctrines of consumerism that is making us all willing to use each other (apparently) for our short-term jollies.

It isn't the new doctrines of consumerism that are making us do this, it's human nature; we like to fuck.

So your argument ... isn't one.

Re: Teenagers now better behaved and less hedonistic but lonelier and more isolated

#79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having two kids, the answer feels really obvious to me, but I’d love to see data supporting any viewpoint. Raising multiple children in western society is really hard. In many (most?) cases you need to move away from family (parents) so there’s limited support from the community or family. There’s limited childcare available, and on top of that kids are expensive. Often both partners are working (or want to get back…

True. Societies may, however, be hesitant to follow our footsteps towards atomization and low birthrate.

I think globally, most societies are follow this trend. My hope would be that we find a way through it. In part, the solution might be more even distribution of the benefits of automation. Less concentration of wealth, lowered cost of living or support which allows both parents to take time off work for the first few grads of their children’s lives.
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