The day I accidentally killed a little boy • Hacker News Board

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#441

Post by csours » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:39 PM UTC

Aloha wrote: post #403

lsc wrote: post #375

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that the lesson of the article is not that weirdos or strangers make the world a dangerous and ugly place, but that we, the regular people who vote for and move to areas with zoning densities that make public transit impractical, who commute long distances in cars, make the world a dangerous and ugly place. Every time we get into a car, we are choosing to take a risk not only with our own life, but with the l…

I don't think this is the argument the author of the article was trying to send at all. This accident could have just as easily happened in a dense urban core, as it could have in suburbia. The message was something else - sometimes, bad things just happen to people, and there is little you can do about it other than move on, and learn from the experiences.

I agree that the message was about how humans deal with tragedy, and as a technical community we often neglect that - but it is also correct to have the technical discussion.

Two things greatly increased the probability of a fatal incident in this case:

1. Mailbox across the street from the home: If the mailbox was on the same side of the street as the home, there would be less cause to cross the street.

2. High speed roadway in a residential area: 45 mph is much too high for a residential neighborhood; 25 mph is generally regarded as safe.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#442

Post by JTon » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:39 PM UTC

Waterluvian wrote: post #250

jfoucher wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Haven't read the story yet, don't know if I will. I just wanted to reply to your comment with a personal anecdote. My eldest son died in an accident when he was about 2 ½ years old. The dread wasn't there before. I didn't think anything like that would happen to me. You do learn to live with the pain, even I sometimes cry for what would have been futile reasons. But I still couldn't bring myself to enter the church a…

Thank you for sharing. My son is almost one and I just quit to go be with him more. I can't convert money into time with him so why am I converting time into money at such a high rate?

Sorry if I missed something philosophical here, but why can't you convert money into time with him?

Contracting services that could you could otherwise do yourself (e.g. cooking, cleaning, renos, repairs, etc) and spending that time with your son seems to fit the bill.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#443

Post by smitherfield » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:40 PM UTC

Pxtl wrote: post #368

smitherfield wrote: post #276

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow. As a Massachusetts driver, I would not have expected that. I've traveled pretty extensively within the US and Europe and I (and many, many others) consider Massachusetts, or at least the Boston metro area, to have the worst drivers. Three possible explanations for the low fatality rate: - Bars, nightclubs and stores that sell alcohol must close by 2 AM, plus our other state and local alcohol sales regulations (p…

I'd assume it's just that Boston traffic is so slow that it's impossible to get up to speed enough to kill anybody - all the fast traffic is on expressways like the Mass Pike, which are far safer because of controlled access. Slow traffic just plain doesn't kill people. Sprawl and exurb farming country is where fatalities happen. That's where people are driving fast but without the protection that expressways provide…

I'm not sure I really buy that; Massachusetts is bigger than just Boston (which has plenty of "fast" roads, e.g. Storrow Drive) and has roads of all shapes, speeds and sizes, including a great deal of "sprawl" in the suburbs (~6X the population of urban Boston/Somerville/Cambridge) and half the state by land area worth of "exurb farming country."

IME, driving in Boston seems to involve the most potentially-deadly situations given the number of pedestrians and cyclists. Twice in the past year driving on Comm Ave I've had to swerve into the left lane to avoid hitting one, first a cyclist who blasted through a red light at an intersection, then a woman who, on her phone, dressed all in black at night, stepped directly in front of me in 30mph traffic, half a double-length block from the nearest crosswalk or stoplight.

If I had glanced at my phone, adjusted the radio, talked to a passenger or otherwise had less-than-instant reflexes in either of those moments those people might well be dead, or else severely injured. (Also, I and others could've been injured or worse if I'd swerved into another car).

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#444

Post by Aloha » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:44 PM UTC

csours wrote: post #441

Aloha wrote: post #403

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think this is the argument the author of the article was trying to send at all. This accident could have just as easily happened in a dense urban core, as it could have in suburbia. The message was something else - sometimes, bad things just happen to people, and there is little you can do about it other than move on, and learn from the experiences.

I agree that the message was about how humans deal with tragedy, and as a technical community we often neglect that - but it is also correct to have the technical discussion. Two things greatly increased the probability of a fatal incident in this case: 1. Mailbox across the street from the home: If the mailbox was on the same side of the street as the home, there would be less cause to cross the street. 2. High spee…

"The road started out as freeway but quickly became a rural highway, one lane in each direction. The speed limit was 45 or 50mph, fairly fast for that kind of road, it was quite busy and I was in a line of cars doing the speed limit."

I'd be hard pressed to call a rural area a residential neighborhood.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#445

Post by smitherfield » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:46 PM UTC

mcguire wrote: post #424

smitherfield wrote: post #276

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow. As a Massachusetts driver, I would not have expected that. I've traveled pretty extensively within the US and Europe and I (and many, many others) consider Massachusetts, or at least the Boston metro area, to have the worst drivers. Three possible explanations for the low fatality rate: - Bars, nightclubs and stores that sell alcohol must close by 2 AM, plus our other state and local alcohol sales regulations (p…

Another explanation: - You are demonstrating the difference between anecdotes and data. Massachusetts' drivers aren't worse than than those elsewhere.

No, people from out of state complain about MA drivers too (who are known as "Massholes" in the rest of New England). If you want data, take the interstate through MA and some other states and count the number of lane changes with and without turn signals.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#446

Post by jakobegger » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:46 PM UTC

Mithaldu wrote: post #345

LocalH wrote: post #274

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you not seen what happens in some parts of the world where people throw themselves in front of vehicles as a form of insurance fraud? And you want to extend that to make the driver guilty of a crime when that happens?

I live in germany, traffic law works like that here, and the insurance fraud you mention is not known here. Not sure why. Maybe because of other aspects of the law culture here.

Maybe because you don‘t get a lot of money if you get hurt, so it doesn‘t pay off?

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#447

Post by jablan » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:47 PM UTC

eveningcoffee wrote: post #439

jablan wrote: post #429

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The likelihood of death is proportional to speed [1], and the speed is lower in the urban cores. The math is super simple, and let's stop trying to justify bad urbanistic (essentially, political) decisions blaming it on the bad fate instead. [1] http://www.copenhagenize.com/2012/11/the-85th-percentile-fol...

This is simply wrong in the general case. While the speeds might be lower, they are still high enough to kill. In addition the density of the traffic can be so high that just a single wrong step can decide your destiny every minute.

Do you have some numbers to support your claims?

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#448

Post by LordKano » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:49 PM UTC

hnaccy wrote: post #402

LordKano wrote: post #341

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me, that happened when I became the father of two little girls. My radar is up whenever I am in public with my daughters. I notice if strangers look for too long in their direction or if I see someone hanging out where children are, without a child of their own. Occasionally, I'll spot another father like me. We'll lock eyes for a moment and it's clear that we recognize each other (for what we are, not necessaril…

Having you head on a swivel for would-be child snatchers at all times seems like irrational paranoia. I imagine it's the deceptively mundane that is the true danger, automobiles being the most obvious.

Have a look at the Megan's Law registry. Tell me how close the nearest violent sexual predator is to you.

A few months ago, I discovered that one lived on my street. He has since been arrested and is no longer in the neighborhood.

But, it's not just out-of-place perverts. I am also on the lookout for under supervised children who "play" too violently.

I knew that I would be concerned about vehicles, so I was sure to buy a house with a large, fenced in, backyard. It's away from the street and even adjacent to a small patch of woods. They can have outdoor adventures and I can have peace of mind.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#449

Post by PeterisP » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:52 PM UTC

adventured wrote: post #152

mattlondon wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

+1 This seems to be a common excuse from people in the US "Oh yeah - well - of course you could do in such a small place - the US is just too big for to happen!" I looked up some stats for the inevitable "But the US is bigger than that! We simply cannot solve this problem!" replies. The EU is pretty big too, but the fatality rate is half of that in the US despite being of comparable land-area. US road fatalities per…

The distance driven per year per person in the US is twice that of the figure in the EU. As an example for the prime driving age bracket, the average driver in the US, 20 to 55 years of age, drives nearly 30,000 KM per year. In the EU it's half that. You would expect fatalities to increase meaningfully when you double the distance driven per person.

That points towards (part of) the solution - yes, a key part of reducing fatalities would be restructuring infrastructure, society norms and zoning so that people drive significantly less. And that's why it's anathema in USA and not likely to happen.

Re: The day I accidentally killed a little boy

#450

Post by misiti3780 » Tue, Jan 09, 2018, 7:53 PM UTC

lostlogin wrote: post #395

ZeroGravitas wrote: post #270

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was at a funeral recently, for an older person, but the same thought about losing lots of children very young came to me. Possibly inspired by the location, I wondered how much of religion was designed around somehow making sense of the death of children.

Until recently babies weren’t even destined for heaven, they went to limbo. It took an update being in 2007 for this feature to be added. The people who come up with this crap hardly ease suffering. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1549439/The-Pope-e...

heaven and limbo are christians concepts - if you are not a christian/catholic[1] (aka 6/7 of the world) and you find out a child dies, you presumably dont even give these things a second thought.

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/20...