Why Am I So Lazy? • Hacker News Board

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#221

Post by megablast » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 2:20 AM UTC

skrebbel wrote: post #175

specialist wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Context. Tearing down vs empowering. I loved volunteering in my son's classroom(s). But I admit to having rage-fits when a beautiful, sweet, talented little 6 year old boy forfeits on a task, telling me "I'm stupid, I can't do anything". There's no question how his parents talked to him.

It's infuriating, but it's also an opportunity to do your little push towards a growth mindset: tell them that then they could practice more so they get better at it. I'm convinced that the more we all tell kids that practice beats talent by a long shot, the happier our next generation will be. Even if only some people around a kid talk like that I'm convinced it can make a difference, get people into this growth min…

Well, as long as your convinced.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#222

Post by sjg007 » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 3:34 AM UTC

To be followed later in life by, "I know I am lazy"..

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#223

Post by vonmoltke » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 4:09 AM UTC

vonmoltke wrote: post #174

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, but also my role as parent is not necessarily to be liked: I'm concerned to help him develop resilience and self-reliance above my own desire to be liked. It's a delicate balance.

"Liked" and "respected" are not the same thing. You can be one, both, or neither. You are right that the role of a parent is not necessarily to be liked , but it is to be respected .

Does anyone care to actually rebut this, or is it just going to be silent downvotes?

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#224

Post by fartblaster9000 » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 4:24 AM UTC

bambax wrote: post #52

> I see this shit every day in other parents: “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!” You are imprisoning your kid with your words, fuckers! That's spot on. It's really upsetting to hear people say that about children, especially people with authority (parents, grandparents). DON'T DO THAT! Or, if you have to do that (!?!) at least be positive. Don't tell a kid she's bad at math, tell her she's good at…

Do you have kids?

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#225

Post by TeMPOraL » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 5:55 AM UTC

curun1r wrote: post #199

TheSpiceIsLife wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you think that in fifty, maybe one-hundred, years people will look back at our present day understand of psychiatry and shake their heads.

I don't know how we'll view psychology, but I believe we'll look back at a number of psychological illnesses and realize that they're a result of our environmental factors much more so than they are naturally-occurring diseases. ADHD is a prime example. I believe modern life is highly over-stimulating us and a sizable subset of our society has trouble coping. Was ADHD a problem before the advent of TV, cell phones, t…

> It's made me believe that modern psychiatry is myopiclly focused on identifying and treating symptoms and largely ignores the avoidable causes of those symptoms.

I disagree with that, even though I agree a lot of mental issues are heavily environmental. The reason psychiatry tries to work around them is that the environment of modern civilization is what we have, it's not going to change (easily), and in the meantime, people need to live somehow. Backpacking retreats are a cool hack if you can afford it regularly, but most people can't - they get maybe one longer stretch of free time a year.

The environment we live in is wholly unlike the environment we're adapted to. I'm not sure if we can or want to get meaningfully closer to the old days to alleviate our mental pains - for all our adaptations, the ancestral environment sucked hard compared to today, and modern civilization fixed at least as much as it broke.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#226

Post by aws_ls » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 7:10 AM UTC

iandanforth wrote: post #145

Warning - rant. I wish HN would ban BS psychology articles. There are real, scientific, actionable steps to understanding perceived motivational deficit and this article doesn't get close to them. It retreads stigmatizing labels, regurgitates useless advice, and provokes high confidence low value anecdotes. 1. Motivation is a chemical state. You can induce motivation generically through dopamine reuptake inhibitors.…

Agree. The simple machine analogy got really irritating, when became repetitive. Also had to skip through that boring squirrel moon example - indulgent by their own admission.

The newly wed lady, just wrote a few paragraphs about her. And Polly went on a long rambling trip making lot of assumptions (e.g. her over-achieving family). Psychiatrists need to ask more next level questions. Here looks like she just wanted to write a long one, perhaps coinciding with her long walk on a treadmill.

To be truthful, I did enjoy some pieces, specifically the 'igniting the dynamite' part as she ends her piece.

But If I were the 'sloth', I would be super confused now. Oh My God. I thought I was just lazy and procrastinating type, didn't know I was messed up this bad.

Reading this made me realize the futility of asking for advise from strangers, who would end up stereotyping you, into their known contexts. Better to improve life by reading suitable books. Or if need advise may be ask trusted friends - who don't assume context as they know you. Or psychiatry sessions may be better.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#227

Post by skrebbel » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 8:42 AM UTC

megablast wrote: post #221

skrebbel wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's infuriating, but it's also an opportunity to do your little push towards a growth mindset: tell them that then they could practice more so they get better at it. I'm convinced that the more we all tell kids that practice beats talent by a long shot, the happier our next generation will be. Even if only some people around a kid talk like that I'm convinced it can make a difference, get people into this growth min…

Well, as long as your convinced.

Hm, interesting. I assumed most people agreed by now that this growth mindset thing is real but maybe I missed something.

What would you say to a kid who says "I'm stupid, I can't do anything"?

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#228

Post by pkalinowski » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 10:04 AM UTC

bjourne wrote: post #135

pkalinowski wrote: post #90

Being lazy is natural and it is what pushes humanity forward. We don't want to do things, so we try to work on it less in the future - automating things, improving efficiency etc. Being "lazy" about some things is good for you. Do not focus much on stuff which is not very important for you personally.

Did you read the article? The premise of her question is that she thinks she is lazy AND she is not satisfied with that. Clearly, being "lazy" is not good if your laziness makes you unhappy.

What if the laziness is not a problem, but feeling unhappy because of this laziness? Why you should be unhappy? Billions of people are lazy and they love it.

There are lot of people preaching that being "efficient" all your life is what you should aim for and, weirdly, everyone accepts this as unquestionable truth.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#229

Post by PGenes » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 11:34 AM UTC

vermilingua wrote: post #130

uhnuhnuhn wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> in "stop being lazy" it is a verb It isn't.

No, but "being lazy" is an action, which can be stopped. It's much harder to stop being lazy if you are being told it's a facet of your identity.

TIL: Raising children involves complex and subtle verbal acrobatics. How on earth did the species manage this for so long?

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#230

Post by fho » Mon, Jan 08, 2018, 12:24 PM UTC

pavel_lishin wrote: post #167

sanderjd wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think there's an important distinction here: in "stop being lazy" it is a verb, an act which is temporary and can be overcome, while in "he is lazy" it is an adjective, an attribute which can all too easily be taken as an indelible personality trait. I think it's only the latter that can be harmful.

Reminds me of a part from Cryptonomicon: > '"I don't like the word 'addict' because it has terrible connotations," Root says one day, as they are sunning themselves on the afterdeck. "Instead of slapping a label on you, the Germans would describe you as 'Morphiumsüchtig.' The verb, suchen means to seek. So that might be translated, loosely, as 'morphine seeky' or even more loosely as 'morphine-seeking.' I prefer 'see…

Plus one for Cryptonomicon reference ... such a great read once you get up to speed with the book. I finished it on my third attempt after quitting twice. Currently stuck on REAMDE ...