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Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

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Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#311

Post by boomlinde »

dragonwriter wrote: post #91
cutler wrote: post #87

Society is sick, let's face it, and technology is largely to blame. We just can't see the danger in technology so long as we're blinded by everything shiny. Human beings are primarily social beings and no, that does not mean peering at each other through the alienating window of a mobile phone screen. In 1969, at the age of 9, I could be left to play with my friends and wander several miles from home without any sens…

> Society is sick, let's face it, and technology is largely to blame. Technology is never to blame for anything, because technology is not a moral actor; people may be to blame for the manner in which they use technology. OTOH, people have been falsely conflating “the youth of today seem to have a different lifestyle than I preferred in my youth” with “society is sick” for at least as long as we have historical evide…

> Technology is never to blame for anything, because technology is not a moral actor; people may be to blame for the manner in which they use technology.

For a very narrow and incomplete definition of technology, sure. Technology literally means the science of craft. Technology isn't just the product, its something you practice when you're engineering and inventing a means to an end. In practicing technology, you make choices in identifying what problems to solve, how, and whether they are problems in the first place. Such choices are subject to morality. In that sense you can indeed blame technology.

I don't think there's ever been a discussion about the ethics of technology here without someone trying to pull the brakes by pointing out that inanimate things themselves are not moral actors, but let's face it, if someone participates in discussion on this site their IQ is probably higher than 70, and understand that already. Assume for a minute, at least for the sake of discussion, that this isn't the point GP is trying to make.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#312

Post by codekilla »

watwut wrote: post #304
codekilla wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Raising children with technology is certainly a challenge. I have 5 kids, oldest 8 years old, youngest 15 months, living in a condo in LA because...you know......f'ing real estate prices, single family homes with 1200 square feet are 1.3 million in our district. So how do you let kids be free if they can't even go outside really?...and multiple kids in a condo without some kind of T.V. or tablet is utter insanity. It…

What do you think is benefit of fighting that pink? (Full disclosure: I hate pink and was shocked too over how much of it grandparents and such forced on us and in what way. But I am still curious about your reasons. )

This is a pretty charged topic, and it's difficult to make the case unequivocally. In our family, it got to the point where people were emailing research papers(academics and doctors in the family) back and forth and Christmas was ruined. I don't have time to cite all the papers on both sides of this, but for us(my wife feels even more strongly about this than I do), it came down to the realization that AT BEST all the girl's toys and clothes could do no harm to their psyche. AT WORST, it could possibly instill in them a type of inferiority with respect to boys in terms of technical ability, and a diminished sense of their place in the world with respect to boys. As a scientist, I have to consider all the evidence, and as a parent, I have to make the decisions I think will help make my children stronger. My wife and I basically came to the conclusion that "girl's toys" and "girl's clothes" were bullshit, and an unnecessary risk to their psyche. Unfortunately pink is collateral damage in this war, as it is so ubiquitously used in our culture to demarcate girl from boy. I can in no way say that we are right, not in a scientific sense, I can only say that after spending hours and hours in toy and clothes aisles, I would say as a culture it's time to rethink gender neutrality, and the way we are separating boys and girls with clothes and toys from a very young age.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#313

Post by ktta »

unabst wrote: post #290
ktta wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 20 and I have my experience to share too. My parents didn't really limit me going out. In fact, they encouraged it. But I found the internet to be way more fascinating compared to my friends. I did have friends and a 'normal' life, but I was an introvert by any measure. I had people to hang out with at school and places to hang out with friends after, but I never wanted to go out and goof off. I want to say it is…

I have a 3 year old. The ads absolutely get to him. And many are inappropriate. Any game that he likes, I remove the ads. It's usually a dollar or two. I also consider it a tip to the developers for entertaining my kid. I usually play together when I can. And he also enjoys watching me play. I actually can't wait for the day when he beats me at street fighter. But I think the key is finding things he enjoys just as m…

It's not just that some of ads are inappropriate, but young children are extremely impressionable and I believe those years shape who they are for the rest of their lives. So I'd consider any ads, by design, inappropriate.

>But I think the key is finding things he enjoys just as much as playing video games or watching tv. It's hard, but they exist.

I agree.

I don't know what makes good parenting. I know no one is prepared to be a parent, but you sound like a great one :)

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#314

Post by mywittyname »

snowwindwaves wrote: post #112
Eric_WVGG wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m reminded of the under-25-set reacting to the Stranger Things children just sort of running around unsupervised as “unrealistic.” Nope, that was how we rolled.

My parents are baby boomers and they said there were just kids everywhere when they grew up. Every house on the street had at least two. Kids went outside to play. Parents had real perspective on the dangers and risks in life after living through ww2 and a kid falling out of a tree was not a concern.

Don't forget the depression. The way my grandpa talked about growing up in the depression, I got the impression that kids were basically independent by the age of 7-8, out of necessity. Many of them had what could be considered part time jobs for after school and were responsible for running errands which could involve walking alone many miles from home to go shopping or drop something off.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#315

Post by conception »

sliverstorm wrote: post #249
Rudism wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My opinion (as a parent of two <10yr old boys) is that screens are the new rock music/comic books/video games/bad-thing-du-jour that parents are demonizing as destroying the younger generation. There's always something, and it's never anywhere near as bad or destructive as was feared. It's just the next phase of a natural and inescapable societal progression.

Those were generally about culture and morals though, right? Rock and roll, drugs, etc scared parents because it was viewed as depraved & debaucherous, nobody was worried it was a substitute for good parenting and that it would impair your development of social skills. Concerns about "screens" today seems more analogous to the old "TV-as-parent" issue.

Worse, screens today are about companies directly tapping into brain mechanisms to induce as close to addiction as they can get. Opiate of the masses indeed.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#316

Post by nickparker »

mcgrath_sh wrote: post #239

One thing I haven’t seen in the comments is the pressure and expectation that you are supposed to be an excellent student and get into a good school and/or get scholarships. The pressure and work pushed onto kids from a young age is staggering. I graduated HS in 2006. I feel like I was on the early-ish side of “must get very good grades, have multiple extra curriculars, and get into a good school.” I had 4-6 hours of…

I think you're closer to our root issues than most of the comments, but there are still links further down the causal chain from here.

College admission is hyper-important and hyper-competitive today because life is hyper-competitive. Stagnant wages and a steadily increasing cost of existing are destroying leisure and stability in all age groups, not just the teenagers.

It honestly terrifies me. I'm extraordinarily lucky in almost every sense, so personally I'll likely be able to live a good life no matter what. But I feel like the systems that undergird every part of our society are getting more and more fragile. Huge groups of Americans are one small misfortune from ruin, and that's choking everything from entrepreneurial risk-taking to teenage partying and other pure leisure activities that used to shape our culture.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#317

Post by mywittyname »

unabst wrote: post #294
Eric_WVGG wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m reminded of the under-25-set reacting to the Stranger Things children just sort of running around unsupervised as “unrealistic.” Nope, that was how we rolled.

Ironically, kids now have GPS trackers and cell phones. You'd think it'd be easier to let them loose.

Even if you wanted to, it's de facto illegal to do so. There's a very real risk of CPS being called on you or getting cited for child endangerment for this.

My parents live in a subdivision with several parks that are completely empty. I took my niece to one and discovered that's apparently suspicious behavior to use a public park in the middle of a weekend afternoon after a local PD officer stopped by to "have a chat."

The police also literally barricade the subdivision for Halloween. Nobody comes in or out between the hours of 7 & 9.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#318

Post by jcadam »

yayadarsh wrote: post #266
jcadam wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dang, way to rub it in, downvoters.

I'm sorry for the situation you describe. For what it's worth, the downvotes (I did not downvote you) are due to HN's insistence on comments that are productive/on topic.

It was mostly an attempt at self-deprecating humor, which admittedly wasn't particularly productive and was only marginally on-topic.

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#319

Post by woolvalley »

codekilla wrote: post #300
woolvalley wrote: post #296

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why did you decide to have 5 kids in that kind of environment?

Fair enough question I suppose. I am a millennial, and I think many of our generation, and especially the younger generation are afraid of having more than say two or three kids, if they plan on having kids. This is certainly reasonable given the economic challenges we face and most principal among those housing costs. Short answer: We are punks I guess, we didn't want to let any of those economic factors dictate wha…

Are you doing something similar like the http://5kids1condo.com/ guy is? With shared bedrooms and such?

Re: Teens Aren’t Partying Anymore

#320

Post by JoeDaDude »

vinceguidry wrote: post #2

I have a theory that introversion and extraversion don't really exist as personality traits, and that we build up preferences out of existing culture about how much social interaction we want in our daily lives. If the culture changes, then so will our preferences. I can easily imagine a world in which I'm gregarious and fun all the time. Making that world happen on the other hand...

In Susan Cain's book about introversion "The Quiet Revolution", she speculated that introversion could become a cultural norm, pointing towards Asian nations as an example.
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