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Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

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Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#121

Post by 2muchcoffeeman »

lhnz wrote: post #62
ImSkeptical wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think if you consent to go to the sex party, you consent to physical romantic activity, you consent to taking the drug knowing your context and what the drug will do, and then you consent to sex throughout the experience, it's hard to see how it's anything but consensual. If you have a colonoscopy done, the medication they give you will make it so you don't remember things or (I hope) feel things, but, my doctor to…

It would be non-consensual if you didn't give affirmative consent. However, reading this, it seems that affirmative consent was given at all times, first to taking drugs and then to making out (or having sex) so this article is basically just a hoo-hah over consenting adults engaging in drug-enabled group sex.

Rich men vastly outnumbered by 20 something women? The men are finally in positions of power and the women think that being in the ‘inner circle’ might open doors for them?

In might be consensual in the sense that everyone said yes, but there’s a known balance of power. Sounds like coercion and naivety.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#122

Post by puzzle »

jpzisme wrote: post #48

What's up with all these sensational articles about Silicon Valley? Maybe the lifestyle is different as a VC, but as an engineer, this seems so disjointed from reality that it's almost farcical. I can barely get some of my coworkers to stop talking about code for more than a breath. There's no way that they're engaging in any of these activities. Can anyone vouch for this behavior being prevalent? To me it just seems…

Not prevalent, but some things are more likely to happen when there's money floating around. A lot of it. Not at a party, but a VC, for example, told me nonchalantly that I could easily take home a woman from the place we were at, assuming I was willing to spend about $3K. This was in the presence of his wife. I hadn't solicited any of this "wisdom", of course.

A friend of mine in tech has been invited to "edgy parties" on two continents and she never went, having heard what they entailed. She had already dealt with plain harassment at work and didn't want to end up in even messier situations outside. There were a couple of famous names that scared her, based on their reputation in her circles.

I'm not sure if this is correlated more to the tech industry, Bay Area customs or a combination. Another friend, who's not in tech, years ago went to what her new boyfriend described as an edgy party, but turned out to be an orgy. One of the women she saw there ended up, by chance, as her fitness instructor years later.

Last but not least, do not assume that people can't be entirely different outside of work. Perhaps because of their intense daytime jobs, some might resort to "activities" as a way to handle stress levels. That said, I can think of at least one person in tech fired for having sex in the workplace.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#124

Post by ryandrake »

narrator wrote: post #102

The following seems to be what it's all about: " Rich men expecting casual sexual access to women is anything but a new paradigm. But many of the A-listers in Silicon Valley have something unique in common: a lonely adolescence devoid of contact with the opposite sex. Married V.C. described his teenage life as years of playing computer games and not going on a date until he was 20 years old. Now, to his amazement, he…

Your advice is not actionable and kind of boils down to "just be good looking". If these "young nerds" had the opportunity to make great memories as awkward teenagers, why wouldn't they?

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#125

Post by orasis »

This article is a fascinating reflection of our current culture. It’s simultaneous power shaming and slut shaming.

It’s pretty sad that across all of the women interviewed they’re either portrayed as naive and disempowered or “merely” prostitutes.

Despite its semi-neutral tone, in the end this article is quite sexist.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#126

Post by owens99 »

iaw wrote: post #86

There's a lot in this article that raises red flags for me, but more about the journalism then the subject. There's an element of sensationalism implying that this is a 'side' of Silicon Valley without offering evidence of prevalence. > ... Founder X told me. The things here on the record are by those who aren't involved, those who are involved speaking on the record do so anonymously. It really seems less that this…

It's not a side for Silicon Valley. It's a side for Silicon Valley's most powerful and influential people.

That does mean something.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#128

Post by [deleted] »

ryandrake wrote: post #124
narrator wrote: post #102

The following seems to be what it's all about: " Rich men expecting casual sexual access to women is anything but a new paradigm. But many of the A-listers in Silicon Valley have something unique in common: a lonely adolescence devoid of contact with the opposite sex. Married V.C. described his teenage life as years of playing computer games and not going on a date until he was 20 years old. Now, to his amazement, he…

Your advice is not actionable and kind of boils down to "just be good looking". If these "young nerds" had the opportunity to make great memories as awkward teenagers, why wouldn't they?

[deleted]

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#129

Post by puzzle »

guacamoleSoda wrote: post #117
sleepyandlazy wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The old-fashioned method you are suggesting requires much more effort than Silicon Valley parties that are currently being thrown. Changing who you are as a person is tough, and why do that when there are easier options. In places like SV and Seattle where there is an imbalance between men/women, you could follow these instructions perfectly but you would still be playing with bad odds. There was recently an article…

Unfortunately, I agree. I've had significantly more trouble dating in Silicon Valley than anywhere else I've lived. In fact, that's why I'm moving to NYC. Using dating apps as evidence: On the east coast: - I get 5x as many matches. - Most of my matches respond to my openers. - My matches are significantly higher quality. - My matches suggest meeting up for dates. - My matches compliment me. - My matches never unmatc…

NYC is probably the optimal case, since it's been known for years that it's one of the few places where there are more single women than single men. In some areas, many more single women. In other words, it skews the exact opposite way from SV.

Re: Silicon Valley's Secretive, Orgiastic Side

#130

Post by GuiA »

jpzisme wrote: post #48

What's up with all these sensational articles about Silicon Valley? Maybe the lifestyle is different as a VC, but as an engineer, this seems so disjointed from reality that it's almost farcical. I can barely get some of my coworkers to stop talking about code for more than a breath. There's no way that they're engaging in any of these activities. Can anyone vouch for this behavior being prevalent? To me it just seems…

>Maybe the lifestyle is different as a VC, but as an engineer, this seems so disjointed from reality that it's almost farcical. I can barely get some of my coworkers to stop talking about code for more than a breath. There's no way that they're engaging in any of these activities.

From TFA:

If you’re reading this and shaking your head saying, “This isn’t the Silicon Valley that I know,” you may not be a rich and edgy male founder or investor, or a female in tech in her 20s.

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