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Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

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Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#111

Post by katovatzschyn »

ezmobius wrote: post #26

I have a 5 1/2 month old boy named Ryland and he is just now finally sleeping all night long(9pm to 7:30am) The first 2-3 months were zombie time. I couldn't get any work done because of the sleep dep. My one biggest piece of advice. SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS. or you will get NO sleep ever. It will be the roughest thing you have ever gone through but one smile from your childs face up at yours makes it all better an…

  SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS DURING THE FIRST 4 MONTHS
Having known a few to have done just this; is this a possible evolutionary explanation for the short term ability of poly-phasic sleep? Does anybody know any information on the relation of the two topics? I am having trouble searching for this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyphasic_sleep

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#112

Post by dctoedt »

dnsworks wrote: post #110

Oh and hope you get lucky like I did with a daughter who slept through the night from day one. It helped to have a large # of people around the first week or two constantly playing with her (as people do around new babies), keeping her generally awake during the day and exhausting her at night. Also, don't buy any books. They're all a waste of money, and you probably have enough common sense and natural instinct for…

> a daughter who slept through the night from day one

As the father of two -- neither of whom slept through the night from day one -- I had to restrain myself from downvoting you for that one, bud :-)

> don't buy any books ...

You're joking, right?

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#113

Post by Pistos2 »

My regrets in life are extremely few, but one of them is this: If I could go back in time and do things differently, one thing I would change would be my attitude about debt when I was young[er]. My kids are growing up, but the months are floating by, and my time at home is eaten up with contract work I'm doing on top of my day job. I look forward to the day that our financial footing is firm enough for me to go back to just one source of income. To me, being a father is the fullness of manhood, and it kills me that I am not always there for my family. So, my advice is this: Don't let yourself get significantly into debt. From my vantage point, it is completely not worth it.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#114

Post by rradu »

mikecaron wrote: post #61
barrydahlberg wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Routine. Routine, routine, routine, routine. This. It took us 8 months to get it sorted but now our little boy just about begs to be put to bed and he sleeps 10 hours a night without a sound.

My experience 1 year into Fatherhood agrees with this. We put baby on a cyclic routine of Eat, Play, Sleep since about day 7. She was sleeping through the night at 8wks. Check out "On Becoming Babywise", Gary Ezzo. Like all the other papas here say, BE SENSITIVE TO YOUR WIFE. Be aware that as your wife breast feeds (if she does) her hormones are still rocking to a different beat every hour. Let complaints roll off yo…

> Sometimes things won't make sense to you

Hilarious. I don't have a wife w a baby, but I can totally see how that situation would come up a lot.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#115

Post by TeHCrAzY »

ntoshev wrote: post #88
michaelkeenan wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Get a white noise generator of some kind. We have a 99-cent iPhone app on our phones that we use daily. I really like the free website simplynoise.com for white noise. Specifically, I find their oscillating brown noise to be soothing.

On Unix I did this: cat /dev/urandom > /dev/dsp There is a free iPhone app too.

su cat /dev/urandom > /dev/msm_pcm_out

on Android :) You need root first, be aware, its quite loud >_<

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#116

Post by petercooper »

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #103
petercooper wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm convinced modafinil and the like would help a lot in sleep crisis moments in the early stages, though a problem is that you need to catch up on the sleep /eventually/ so it could never be a regular, routine solution. Another problem is that such drugs take time to kick in and you might not know when such a crisis moment would be in advance.. You tend to break fast under baby and sleep related stress. For the birt…

Interestingly the Wikipedia page doesn't say what it actually does - you'd think it would be headline info, what's the intended result of the medication. Seems modafinil replaces amphetamines for keeping you really awake when your body wants to sleep. I don't think that the first response to your body saying it needs sleep should be to reach for some mood altering drugs to make it pretend to itself that it doesn't re…

I don't think that the first response to your body saying it needs sleep should be to reach for some mood altering drugs to make it pretend to itself that it doesn't really need sleep.

Sure, it shouldn't be the first response - I mentioned "crisis" and high intensity situations. Modafinil has a longer term but similar effect to caffeine, but without most of the negative side effects. Like you shouldn't be fueling your short nights with caffeine (though many parents do), you shouldn't be popping modafinil every night either. Temporarily? Both techniques could provide a respite from soul crushing fatigue.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#117

Post by lrm242 »

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #98
lrm242 wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a parent of two (3yrs and 10mo) there is serious truth to this. I can only assume that the down votes are because of the flippant way it was phrased, but let me offer this to the new and prospective pappas out there: you will be tired, busy, and frustrated. If you don't step back and take care of momma you can quickly find your relationship spiraling out of control because you no longer prioritize yourself or your…

>That way we can leave the kids at home and go have a nice lunch together and maybe see a movie without the hassle of babysitters and late nights. Don't have kids, no "hassle"! As for (d) kids are your productivity, they're are what you've produced, they will be your lifes work. Don't sideline them, don't let nannies have all the fun.

Sideline them? Actually I think its theraputic for the kids to allow other people to take care of them. It helps them adjust to the world and understand that mommy and daddy DON'T have to be there for them to thrive.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#118

Post by jtheory »

steamer25 wrote: post #90
ezmobius wrote: post #26

I have a 5 1/2 month old boy named Ryland and he is just now finally sleeping all night long(9pm to 7:30am) The first 2-3 months were zombie time. I couldn't get any work done because of the sleep dep. My one biggest piece of advice. SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS. or you will get NO sleep ever. It will be the roughest thing you have ever gone through but one smile from your childs face up at yours makes it all better an…

>SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS Agreed. Check out this book: http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/04... . New borns sleep 18-20 hours a day but the few waking hours are distributed throughout the 24 hour period. This means your sleep will be disturbed in the middle of the night and you will need to make up for it with naps during the day. Sleep is critical for brain growth and function. Tired dad/mom…

Generally agreed, though sleep training is still somewhat controversial. If you and your baby have found sleeping habits that work for you all -- you are getting enough sleep to be functional and be healthy -- then skip it.

My daughter is 14 months, and still wakes during the night to breastfeed (she also eats solid food by now, but still nurses), but she doesn't make any significant noise and doesn't even necessarily wake my wife, and we're both fine and rested in the morning. This has pretty much been the pattern since she was a few months old.

Well... I'm fine and rested in the morning if I have gone to bed at a decent hour. I have trouble concentrating enough to get work done during the day, so I often do it at night. Last night I slept about 5 hours on the couch by my computer then worked as the sun came up. :)

It's not ideal -- I could use more rest in my life -- but I'd rather skip some sleep then cut out any of my involvement in my daughter's life... I'm really enjoying that part. She's learning at an incredible rate, and I'm finding myself pretty good at optimizing her experience (and man, now I really cringe when I see these parents constantly putting the most interesting things just barely out of their poor child's reach, or trying to "discipline" their children into, well, suppressing their essential and powerful natural curiosity).

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#119

Post by jtheory »

katovatzschyn wrote: post #111
ezmobius wrote: post #26

I have a 5 1/2 month old boy named Ryland and he is just now finally sleeping all night long(9pm to 7:30am) The first 2-3 months were zombie time. I couldn't get any work done because of the sleep dep. My one biggest piece of advice. SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS. or you will get NO sleep ever. It will be the roughest thing you have ever gone through but one smile from your childs face up at yours makes it all better an…

SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS DURING THE FIRST 4 MONTHS Having known a few to have done just this; is this a possible evolutionary explanation for the short term ability of poly-phasic sleep? Does anybody know any information on the relation of the two topics? I am having trouble searching for this. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyphasic_sleep

It's not true polyphasic sleep; it's just the best way to deal safely with exhaustion. And just about every new parent goes through a period of exhaustion, because the baby will probably be waking them during their normal sleeping hours, every night... plus there's more to do during the day, so especially first time parents start out trying to do it all (but without the sleep to recover at night), and that catches up with you pretty quickly.

Plus the experience of giving birth to launch this whole adventure means that probably both parents went for a few days with no or very little sleep, and the mother has a lot of physical recovery to do as well (ever worse if it was a c-section), so they're starting off way in the red.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#120

Post by jtheory »

mikecaron wrote: post #61
barrydahlberg wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Routine. Routine, routine, routine, routine. This. It took us 8 months to get it sorted but now our little boy just about begs to be put to bed and he sleeps 10 hours a night without a sound.

My experience 1 year into Fatherhood agrees with this. We put baby on a cyclic routine of Eat, Play, Sleep since about day 7. She was sleeping through the night at 8wks. Check out "On Becoming Babywise", Gary Ezzo. Like all the other papas here say, BE SENSITIVE TO YOUR WIFE. Be aware that as your wife breast feeds (if she does) her hormones are still rocking to a different beat every hour. Let complaints roll off yo…

> Be aware that as your wife breast feeds (if she does) her hormones are still rocking to a different beat every hour.

Well, and never mind the hormones (though both parents will have a lot of these going on) -- breastfeeding quite literally takes a lot out of you. She will have more to do, but less energy than she's used to.

Just do everything you can, and then more, and look for the humor to put a smile on your face (and hers) whenever you can. It gets easier as you go along.

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