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Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

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Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#71

Post by donohoe »

There is some awesome advice already here so I've little to add, other than:

- Don't expect a normal routine for the first 4 months. Don't expect anything normal for a few years after either.

- Sleep when the baby sleeps! (yeah, been said many many time already, but worth once more)

- Once the baby gets into a routine of regular sleep you can figure out times that work for you. So work at night while the baby sleeps but be sure to have a solid plan to be able to get sleep later...

- Through all this don't forget your wife/partner. Post-partum depression, stress of parenthood, sleep deprivation. You need to make sure you're there for each-other first and foremost. If you can't take care of yourselves, its harder to take care of a baby.

- Take time to enjoy parenthood. My oldest daughter is 2 and a bit now and its like she was just born yesterday and its gone so fast (then again it seems like she's been here forever - go figure)

Congrats!

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#73

Post by eatsleepdev »

wazoox wrote: post #29
eatsleepdev wrote: post #20

My daughter is 4.5 months old now... I don't sleep much.

The hard part is getting her to sleep at night. That implies tough stuff, like not letting her fall asleep to eat some more at night, and letting her cry in her crib, in her room, later. Life is hard :)

I think I'm lucky, because my baby isn't hard to get to go to sleep at all. She usually falls asleep around 10 or 11 and sleeps all night. The reason I don't sleep is because I need to make time for my family and still have time to do what I love.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#74

Post by forinti »

JunkDNA wrote: post #69

There's lots of great advice here. I've got a 10-week old girl who I'm certain is the cutest, most wonderful little thing in the world. I'm assuming you're the dad (if you're the mom, I can't offer much). Stuff to think about right now : -Sleep deprivation starts early . Your wife is going to be uncomfortable as anything the last several months. She may toss and turn a lot at night. Plan accordingly. -If there is any…

"Babies love white noise."

A friend found out that static from a radio will do the trick.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#75

Post by tptacek »

jacquesm wrote: post #3

Kids come first! Spouses second. Computers third. I'm sure you already figured that one out but I still have to remind myself periodically when I'm in to something interesting so I figured it wouldn't hurt to repeat it. Get up an hour or two before your kids do so you can get some work done when you're still fresh (assuming your kids don't get up at 6 am :) ).

You have kids, 'jacquesm?

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#76

Post by duck »

jacquesm wrote: post #39
petercooper wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think having an order is nonsense. Who gets the most attention should depend on the context and the seriousness of whatever's going on. If my kid wants to play but my wife is bawling her eyes out over something, the kid isn't coming first in that situation.

Hm. Ok, that's one interpretation that I didn't intend. As a general rule, outside of exceptional situations, spouses take care of their kids together before they get around to taking care of themselves. Kids are considered dependents and as such both parents will find that they will instinctively turn towards their children first in times of need. Whether that's always the rational thing to do is a different questio…

When we first became parents I put my son at the top spot and thus my wife and I have talked about this a good bit. We found that if we focus on each other it makes it overall better for everyone, including the kids. I guess how we look at it is family is #1 instead of breaking it down.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#77

Post by duck »

forinti wrote: post #74
JunkDNA wrote: post #69

There's lots of great advice here. I've got a 10-week old girl who I'm certain is the cutest, most wonderful little thing in the world. I'm assuming you're the dad (if you're the mom, I can't offer much). Stuff to think about right now : -Sleep deprivation starts early . Your wife is going to be uncomfortable as anything the last several months. She may toss and turn a lot at night. Plan accordingly. -If there is any…

"Babies love white noise." A friend found out that static from a radio will do the trick.

A lot of parents believe in the "white noise" and it does seem to work for a lot of babies, but (this is not scientific by any means) what I have noticed with other kids we know closely is that if you start them with white noise they will continue to need it as they grow older and without it they are not as good of sleepers. So it seems to create a dependency. I know opinions like this could be argued with a lot of baby topics (food, play, milk, etc.), but the white noise is the only one that I have seen repeatedly hold up.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#78

Post by efalcao »

I've got twin babies of 15 months, a full time job and bootstrapping a business. There is only one rule for me: keep your priorities straight. Here are my priorities

#1: Family / Relationship #2: Work #3: Business #4: Personal Time / Relaxation #5: Side Work / Consulting

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#79

Post by pcc »

duck wrote: post #77
forinti wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Babies love white noise." A friend found out that static from a radio will do the trick.

A lot of parents believe in the "white noise" and it does seem to work for a lot of babies, but (this is not scientific by any means) what I have noticed with other kids we know closely is that if you start them with white noise they will continue to need it as they grow older and without it they are not as good of sleepers. So it seems to create a dependency. I know opinions like this could be argued with a lot of b…

We were explicitly taught in pre-natal class that babies have to learn anew how to go to sleep once they're out of the womb, it's not something that's inborn.

For example, we were told it's hugely important to lay your baby down in their cribs as they're drifting off to sleep, but still just slightly awake, so they build the association between crib and going to sleep; if you only lay them down after they're asleep, this tends to have repercussions (e.g. because of the lack of the association, you're not equipping your baby to be able to go back to sleep if they randomly wake up).

As I recall, there is actually a fair bit of research behind this, but admittedly it's been 6 yrs so I don't remember all the details.

White noise is helpful, but falls into the same type of category.

Re: Ask HN: Tips for Hackers having Kids?

#80

Post by pcc »

jasonlotito wrote: post #65
wensing wrote: post #45

If you're the type that needs your sleep, YMMV, but I am now the father of four and still a co-founder, so here goes ... NOTE: This is scattershot advice mixed with personal reflection. Salt liberally, expect typos. I started working on Stormpulse in 2004 as a hobby project a few months after we had our first child. She slept horribly for the first two years of her life--very difficult to get to sleep and woke up a l…

I just want to take a moment to second the book Happiest Baby on the Block (I got the book, apparently there is a DVD). It truly is a "baby hacks" book. I read it cover to cover months before my first baby was born, and while I don't remember all of it, I retained enough that I am the goto person for baby burps and swaddling my children. My first born (now 20-months) slept well, was easy going, and is a well-behaved…

Another vote for Happiest Baby on the Block (Harvey Karp), probably can't rate it highly enough! The "jiggle" trick worked like absolute magic.

BTW the late Tracy Hogg (Baby Whisperer) is also highly recommended; she was also a big proponent of swaddling.

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