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Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

nautil.us

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Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#191

Post by OOPMan »

caterama wrote: post #55
rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

Having quit Facebook some 4+ years ago, I think about these things too and have come to the conclusion that: a) I don't need to know about the project my distant friend is working on, or the food anyone is making or eating* . b) A solution that existed before Facebook were X-Mas cards. So, I think that's what I'll be doing when I no longer see my parents and close friends daily. * On a side note, my mom calls my gran…

Yeah, going to have to agree here.

Facebook is just a never-ending stream of shit I don't really care about or need to hear about. The time I don't spend on Facebook is vastly better spent than the time I spend on Facebook, even when that time is just watching whatever dumb TV show that helps me unwind (as opposed to reading nonsensical commentary from random people I don't know uttering all the manner of stupidity)

I haven't quit it per se, but I the only thing I really use it for anymore is organising my monthly board-game night with friends.

As such I find the things Facebook does to try and pull you in to be extremely annoying. Pushing a notification at me claiming I have all kinds of "new" shit I need to look at when in reality it's just a recycling of shit I ignored months ago is, frankly, pretty hideous.

You know what, posting this has actually inspired me to go in and do a nice big ol purge...

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#192

Post by cacarr »

cletus wrote: post #89
badestrand wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would love it if Facebook worked that way for me. But unfortunately its just selfies and crappy shares of motivational or "funny" memes. The people that I am interested in mostly never post anything - and me neither, because I a) would like to share with close friends and family but not everyone I am connected to* and b) I find it too stressful to having to worry that my post won't garner many likes and thus will b…

Unfortunately customizing your news feed takes some work. Frankly I'd like a setting that just says I'm not interested in any of the following: - Tag a friend who ... - Quizzes - Inspirational quotes of any kind - Social game results of any kind (or invites for that matter) In my own feed I had a few culprits who were largely responsible for this noise. I think only in one case did I have to resort to unfollow (altho…

I prefer G+ Communities and Twitter for my nerdy, interest-based communications. Instagram for meatspace folk.

I don't know what it is exactly, but the Facebook stream fills me with an anxious loathing -- I even find that shade of blue repulsive.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#193

Post by deletefb »

0xcde4c3db wrote: post #174
jjeaff wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You don't have to lie to people. You can go to church and not believe. I know several people that do that. So, I'm assuming that you also have some qualms about how Facebook or Google does business? Does that mean you refuse to use Facebook or Google? By using commercial services, you are actually supporting them financially. You can go to most any church without donating anything at all.

It's not really a question of the church's "business". It's that I do not believe in God, and lying to people about something that central to their identity seems like a bad thing to do. I'm skeptical that I'd be accepted in the vast majority of churches as an open nonbeliever without continual attempts to "convert" me [1], particularly in the area where I live. I've heard of churchgoers and even priests/pastors who…

I’m an atheist. I sing in an Episcopal choir. I’m the chair of an organization within the church. Everyone knows I’m an atheist and nobody cares. Half of the choir is gay (including me), both organists are gay, one member is Jewish, one member is a former Muslim-now-spiritual, and everyone’s super chill. I’ve never felt unwelcome or out-of-place. I don’t get much out of it spiritually, but it’s a gorgeous space and I get to make delightful music with people I love. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be on Sunday.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#194

Post by QuercusMax »

0xcde4c3db wrote: post #109
Top19 wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is an old joke that Wikipedia doesn’t work in theory but it does in reality. In the same way, Church’s don’t make a lot of sense but they’ve worked for thousands of years. I kind of think of it as a thing like the family, which also doesn’t make sense in some regards, but it’s proven its “value”. I hate using that argument because you could argue for a lot of stupid things that way, but it’s one way of looking…

I feel like you didn't answer the main question. What if I recognize the potential value in all of the things you mention, but don't believe in God and don't want to lie to people about it?

Then go to a Unitarian Universalist church?

"Unitarian Universalists believe that each person is free to search for their own personal truth on issues, such as the existence, nature, and meaning of life, deities, creation, and afterlife." -Wikipedia

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#195

Post by OOPMan »

rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

People in your situation before Facebook probably:

1) Socialised with local friends

2) Interacted with remote friends via the telephone

People in your situation before phones probably:

1) Socialised with local friends

2) Interacted with remote friends via the mail/telegram

3) Didn't have that many remote friends due living in an era that provided less opportunities for long-distance travel

People in your situation before telegrams/mail:

1) Socialised with local friends

2) Didn't usually have any remote friends due living in an era that provided less opportunities for long-distance travel and/or communications

I think if you will do some reading you'll discover that life proceeded quite handily prior to the availability of long distance communications and/or travel to the general populace.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#196

Post by herbst »

rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

I travel quite a lot and have friends in different countries. I don't really see the need the care about their daily live. However i love to just show up and give them a call and have hours of stuff to talk about.

I think this is just biased on beeing used to the 'Facebook way' outside of this bubble your arguments just sound strange. (like why would I care what they cook or how their children look right now?)

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#197

Post by goldfeld »

bunderbunder wrote: post #181
gyim wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm always sad when I read something like this. If believing in God and protecting the planet or accepting basic science are contrasting ideas, then your wife's grandparents are believing in a caricature, not God. But I think you can do better than just saying "these are fairy tales". I recently read a book from a former atheist (Jennifer Fulwiler) who came from a very loving and intellectually honest family. Her fat…

That first paragraph is emblematic of the thing that most worries me about using religious groups as the core of one's social life. It may come from a well-intentioned place, but people are way too quick to resort to outright denigrating other people's beliefs in a way that, at best, infantilizes them with descriptions like "fairy tale" and "caricature". (There's not a whole lot of semantic distinction between these…

How about a renaissance for art?

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#198

Post by gkya »

whatimherefor wrote: post #189

So as a girl working in tech, all I remember about facebook back when I had one was everytime a new girl started working at our company, all the guys flocked to one guys computer and they stalked the crap out of her one Facebook, and by the time she walked through the door they knew who she was dating, had already decided he wasn't good enough for her and were already in competition to date her and trying to woo her…

> and here come the downvotes....

I'm not a mod but I'll still say that this is frowned upon. Wrt the downvote itself, I promptly rewarded you with mine for your representing of stalking as a male only phenomenon. This blanket statements blaming men for everything really grosses me out and does not help at all with the feminist cause. Saying "hey you're all nasty pigs" is not persuasive at all, especially when I at the receiving end of the attack am not at all guilty of what you blame every single person with.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#199

Post by quickthrower2 »

EADGBE wrote: post #179
quickthrower2 wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is worrying from the perspective of Facebook having so much power. It sounds like in your case, the enjoyment of your life i.e. "get invited to more events" and indeed one of the lower 'needs' is enhanced by joining Facebook (and reduced by leaving it). If Facebook is the Junk Food of Socializing, it is like a McDonalds that has successfully lobbied for a ban on the sale of home cookware, whilst buying out all t…

>it is like a McDonalds that has successfully lobbied for a ban on the sale of home cookware They've successfully lobbied to ban my personal website?

Darn imperfect analogies!

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#200

Post by vlehto »

Mc_Big_G wrote: post #183

Would you use an alternative to facebook if...? * It was free of advertisements * Posts were fully encrypted so even facebook couldn't see read them Meaning: * There's no public posting * They can't data mine * They can't sell your data * You could create different user groups to post to * Everyone in a group had their own server side and/or local copy of all posts to that group * You could unfriend or ignore users *…

I don't want user groups where people can discuss.

I'm extrovert and I'm drawn to comment sections of everything. As a result I get stuck on facebook comment sections. And this kills the time I would use for face to face socializing.

Here I am, writing to comment section...

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