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Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

economist.com

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Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#101

Post by sillysaurus3 »

throwaway413 wrote: post #16
PuffinBlue wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you expand on this? I don't really understand how x lead to y as i don't have much idea about social media addiction at all or its effects.

We moved to a new city. I work full time (from home) as a SWE. She is a stay at home mom. She met new people on IG in our new city, made friends. I thought it was great. My wife has a hole deep inside her from years of childhood abuse. She has no career, is early 20s like myself, and has yet to figure herself out. As the months went by, she filled that hole more and more with her connections on IG and less with our f…

Well, from the way you're talking about her, it sounds like you're being a bit dismissive about her void that she needs to fill. She has hopes and dreams, just like you. If you both met when you were teens, then she probably felt like her entire life was chosen by a teenager. And that's daunting for anyone.

I know you're hurting. I've felt it. Sometimes it feels like the end of the world. But nothing happy will come from vilifying her or blaming her. She might feel like she had to look out for herself. It's the only life she'll ever get.

If she's truly polyamorous, then that means there is space for you too, you know. You just have to attract her.

But you should ask yourself if you really want that. She's a different person than the idea of her you're clinging to. Do you love her? Or are you afraid of being alone?

If you love her, and you want to pursue it, realize you might still lose her. But one chance is to wait for her to finish exploring whatever she wants to explore, and then see if she comes back. Keep in touch and try to talk about something real, something deep. Without arguing. Let her have a voice.

It's not enough to pay someone's bills. They're a person. And one step towards a healthy relationship is to shed the "if I do X for you, then you do Y for me" mindset. It's poisonous, at least in my own life. Maybe it's different for other people.

Best of luck. If you want to chat, shoot me an email.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#102

Post by tdb7893 »

greeneggs wrote: post #94
brndnmtthws wrote: post #85

If you take a train or a bus, or are in any other public space, you may notice that a bunch of people (young and old) spend their time staring into their phones. And most of the time, if you glance at their phone, you'll see they're on Instagram. They're staring into this machine fantasizing about some image of how great life is, meanwhile their real life is passing them by. And they wonder why they're not getting al…

Or, perhaps they are being inspired. Planning their own art or adventure. If you're sitting on a train, why not? (Is reading a book equally objectionable, or is going to a museum?) It's rather offensive to judge people about whom you know nothing. (As is quoting President Trump as if he is an authority on anything.)

The issue is that social media is bad for mental health. That means that excessive social media time can be a problem and is more objectionable that reading a book and likely also worse than watching TV or playing video games. I think if everyone was reading or doing something similarly benign on their phones it would be much less of an issue.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#103

Post by ryanlol »

eternalban wrote: post #60
epx wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd have taken custody of my kid the next day she said "polyamorous".

How much does an initial consultation with an attorney cost? Likely less than 4K, I would assume. I would think (not sure) that one significant contributing factor in psychological harm to children in context of divorce is the undermining of notions of love, loyalty. And I would think being front row observers of instability in human relations is also damaging to young ones. ~ My sincere condolences to OP regarding t…

>How much does an initial consultation with an attorney cost? Likely less than 4K, I would assume.

Often nothing at all.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#104

Post by brndnmtthws »

SolaceQuantum wrote: post #100
brndnmtthws wrote: post #85

If you take a train or a bus, or are in any other public space, you may notice that a bunch of people (young and old) spend their time staring into their phones. And most of the time, if you glance at their phone, you'll see they're on Instagram. They're staring into this machine fantasizing about some image of how great life is, meanwhile their real life is passing them by. And they wonder why they're not getting al…

You realize back in the older days people did the exact same thing with books and newspapers? At least with phones we can talk with people we’re meeting up with.

It's slightly different, because at least things like books and newspapers carry a tiny bit of intellectualism. You at least need to be able to read and comprehend language. IG, on the other hand, is literally just pictures: you don't even need to be able to comprehend any language to use it.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#105

Post by stefanpie »

brndnmtthws wrote: post #85

If you take a train or a bus, or are in any other public space, you may notice that a bunch of people (young and old) spend their time staring into their phones. And most of the time, if you glance at their phone, you'll see they're on Instagram. They're staring into this machine fantasizing about some image of how great life is, meanwhile their real life is passing them by. And they wonder why they're not getting al…

As a teen, I'm not sure if this is the right place for me to speak but I wanted to offer a few things to the discussion. Social media is key aspect to the entire situation and is definitely true for me and all my peers. Like someone else stated in the comments, I feel as if it's a side effect to loneliness in our time however that's not entirely true. Teens are still very social, maybe as a social as ever compared to in the past. They actively searching friends and what to talk face to face. But I feel as if the do existence of social media is hindering theses interactions for for some it's a simple escape that is a simpler option than actively seeking friendships.

One more note. I find it a bit disturbing that among my peers this is not really a discussed or considered social issue. A lot for teens just accept it as it it without any realization. It would nice to see my peers accept a different attitude to social media. Not necessarily shunning it completely but at least having a realistic understanding of the role it can play on their lives.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#107

Post by exodust »

greeneggs wrote: post #94
brndnmtthws wrote: post #85

If you take a train or a bus, or are in any other public space, you may notice that a bunch of people (young and old) spend their time staring into their phones. And most of the time, if you glance at their phone, you'll see they're on Instagram. They're staring into this machine fantasizing about some image of how great life is, meanwhile their real life is passing them by. And they wonder why they're not getting al…

Or, perhaps they are being inspired. Planning their own art or adventure. If you're sitting on a train, why not? (Is reading a book equally objectionable, or is going to a museum?) It's rather offensive to judge people about whom you know nothing. (As is quoting President Trump as if he is an authority on anything.)

Agreed. Why not indeed.

And people are doing different activities on their phone including games and reading news or whatever they want.

It's a no-brainer why more people are depressed. From increasing environmental concerns including global warming, to violence and conflict, and a myriad of domestic issues that we can't not be aware of any more. I remember a time when I lived in a small town and was very incubated from the world's problems. That incubation no longer exists.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#108

Post by jghn »

chongli wrote: post #91
jghn wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That was the point they were making

Yeah. At universities the parents are the customers so of course they're going to be the ones complaining. There's no risk of this happening at work because nobody is paying to be there. If your parent calls your boss they can threaten to fire you and there's nothing mom or dad can do about it.

I've heard a few stories of parents taking the same behavior to the workplace, but so far I've chosen to believe they're urban legend as I don't want to live in a world where those stories are true.

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#109

Post by ryanlol »

throwaway413 wrote: post #76
exit wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

please speak to a lawyer if you haven't already

Yeah I guess I really need to. I’ve been scared to do so.

You should be much more scared of what might happen if you do not.

Hiring a lawyer isn't something you'll regret for years, not doing so on the other hand...

Re: Teenagers are growing more anxious and depressed

#110

Post by saagarjha »

brndnmtthws wrote: post #97
greeneggs wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or, perhaps they are being inspired. Planning their own art or adventure. If you're sitting on a train, why not? (Is reading a book equally objectionable, or is going to a museum?) It's rather offensive to judge people about whom you know nothing. (As is quoting President Trump as if he is an authority on anything.)

Are you a FB employee or something? Sounds like you're making an ad sales pitch.

But their point still stands-it’s entirely possible to use Instagram in a “positive” way.
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