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Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

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Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#91
I was into this situation for a bit.

I used to get such incredible enjoyment from just coding all day, then listening to music and coding all night while drinking.

It was better than going out and seeing friends or doing anything else.

On the programming side, needing just a keyboard in front of you with the potential to make a million+ dollar company was always such an incredible motivation.

So it was like, you are not just listening to music and drinking and having a good time...I was getting all that enjoyment while also working on something that could have a huge pay-off, and that was intrinsically enjoyable anyway.

The reality though is that the quality of work you do while drinking is sub-par. It is a huge motivation boost initially and can throw you into a different mindset to let you pound through a couple of hours of work that would have been boring. It can brake a procrastination cycle where you might have been staring at a huge mountain of work, unable to take the first step.

But if its no work compared to some work, this can sometimes be a good thing.

It did reach a point where I would work all night, wake up late in the afternoon, and then be looking forward to the sun would going down before having another drink.

But honestly, I never saw it as a problem. And it really never became a problem. It just naturally balanced itself out. If you drink too much, you feel shit the next day, so you drink less and tell yourself off.

During the day I get high off exercise which is just as good. Evenings, sometimes I'll have a beer or two, but usually its already too late before I even consider it so I go to bed.

For me, I think programming in and of itself, and music, and exercise are all just as good as drinking, such that it never became addictive.

I can see it would be an issue if you experienced burn out, you have deadlines at work, and the only thing that eases the feeling of burnout is drinking. But I see drinking more as inertia, rather than fuel.

I think its very unique to everyone's built-in motivational systems and life circumstances.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#92
post #86

I used to drink a lot, but I eventually came to realize that I wasnt drinking for the alcohol, I was just drinking because I wanted something to drink. I remember back in high school I'd drink soda all the time, and lots of it, which I think was for the same reasons. I started drinking LaCroix, and its to the point where I'm going through a 12 pack every couple days. I had to start buying the generic brands to save m…

This is a good experiment for anyone to do. Order a club soda at a social occasion, and you may be surprised how quickly you forget that you aren't drinking alcohol.

For many, it is just something to do with their hands.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#93
Thank you all for your feedback. Some are great and I really appreciate.

Some clarifications (not for discussion, just for those who are / think are in a similar situation):

- I mentioned half to full bottle of wine - it's just to give the measure. I actually drink wine, rum, whiskey, whatever

- I said 5 days a week on average, didn't mention that the other 2 are usually the days I have something preventing me (no alcohol at home, or external duties). Basically, when I'm at home and there is alcohol at home - I drink it

- the examples with children seeing me are not really applying here - 99% of the time, I'm drinking in the evening, while working (or trying to) on side projects

- I don't have any violence problems at all, even when drunk

- I'm not sure alcoholic is the right word (it's a bit strong indeed). Indeed, I'm much more concerned with how far from my potential (not only productivity, but also enjoying and living a full life) I am, than health problems. Even though it's much more apparent to me since I started running

- some of you mentioned the case of social drinking - I have 0 problem with this indeed, and I did use to work on team where we were drinking almost every night. I don't consider that a problem. My (perceived) problem is drinking alone

Anyway, thanks again to all of you. HN is really a unique community

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#94
I'm beginning to find myself in that situation now. Anywhere from 1.75L to 3.5L of liquor a week. At least for me I think it's because my day to day life is very isolated in addition to having a fairly stressful and unfulfulling job. I haven't had much motivation to do anything about it precisely because I'm not suffering much of any immediate negative consequences yet, and I don't really see any path towards changing my life situation to make things more bearable without drinking

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#96
post #86

I used to drink a lot, but I eventually came to realize that I wasnt drinking for the alcohol, I was just drinking because I wanted something to drink. I remember back in high school I'd drink soda all the time, and lots of it, which I think was for the same reasons. I started drinking LaCroix, and its to the point where I'm going through a 12 pack every couple days. I had to start buying the generic brands to save m…

+1 for LaCroix. It’s an excellent substitute for soda, though starting with diet soda might be an easier transition.

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#97

I was a high functioning alcoholic, drinking a six pack of beer per weeknight (programming by day for a successful company). On weekends, I would keep an eye on the clock and wouldn’t start drinking until noon. Looking back, I realize that I could hardly function without it. I was hiding scotch in the closet and taking occasional swigs in secret just to “get by”. One day, I went to a new doctor for one thing and ende…

Isn't alcohol a depressant? Was drinking worsening or alleviating the problem?

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#98
I have a policy of drinking alternate years. I tried alternate months first. Didn't work for me. I spent most of my off months longing for them to end so I could enjoy another on month. It was too much effort. So I switched to year on, year off. This works. The drinking horizon is so far away that there's no pressing anticipation. I know I'll get to drink again some day and enjoy great IPAs and wine. But for now, I'm off. I'm going to miss wine with my meals and lubricated socializing, and that's ok. I've put my drinking in check. I own it. It doesn't own me.

I felt I had to do this because when I drink, I drink too much. I consider "too much" to be any amount that impairs my sleep, which for me is often as little 2 or 3 drinks. During my on years, like the current one, I'm pestered by a mental dialog about whether I should drink now, am I drinking too much, why did I drink so much last night, should I just have one, well maybe two... This undermines the harmony of my life. But I live with it so I can enjoy drinking. It's a sort of evil pact to preserve a pleasure.

The upside to alternate years is that I can really observe clearly the difference in my behavior and quality of life. Life really does change for the better in my off years. I do different things, spend time with different friends. It's a different approach to life. But I would never plan to go a month trip through Italy on an off year. On and off years have their own special uses.

Like you, I'm also a runner. I rarely miss a day. And there is no doubt that my running suffers when I drink. The upside to being a daily runner, at least for me, is that running takes priority over almost everything, including drinking. So even in on years, my running helps keep the drinking in check.

I wonder if anyone has found a drug, legal or illegal, that mimics the positive affects of alcohol but has little or no downside, like hangover and addiction?

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#99
post #5

I drank for years and years thinking I was "high functioning". I quit drinking using Naltrexone, following the "Sinclair Method". In my opinion it's a far more rational and reasonable treatment program as compared to AA's 12 step (which never worked for me).

I’m currently on month 5 of TSM, and almost never drink. Highly recommend it for anyone struggling. This TEDx talk was what convinced me to try it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6EghiY_s2ts

Prior to TSM, I was in pretty bad shape — so grateful I discovered it

Using a throwaway account here. Wish I didn’t feel like I had to :(

Re: Ask HN: High functioning alcoholism – anyone?

#100
post #14

5 nights a week half a bottle of wine isn't an alcoholic. It's drinking too much. If you're at a bottle of wine s night that's certainly too much. You've got a poor habit that's all. Just put a system in of deferring first drink, going to bed s bit earlier i.e. Before the last drink, and ensure you have a glass of water and a cup of tea between each glass. That'll reduce the amount you drink by s glass or two. You're…

As someone who drank a bottle of wine every night for 2 years flat, I totally agree. There is a world of difference between having a drink habit and being alcoholic. Now I can go for months at a time without touching it. The trick for me is not having it in the house. Getting plenty of exercise helps a lot, if for no other reason than it gets me outdoors and breaks up the routine.

If you need a 'trick' you are at least a bit dependent.. I don't think people realize how easy it is to become dependent.
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